Caption Competition #355

29 comments

1. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than see Cumlicker Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and the paintball police win the election.

2. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than have Ted Kennedy as my ride share driver.

3. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than have JFK Jr. be the pilot on my plane.

4. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than see a home made porn movie of Maura Healey and her girlfriend.

5. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than have Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon.

6. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than have a booger sugar snorting contest with Hunter Biden and Whitney Houston.

7. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than shack up with Jodi Arias

8. … wake up next to Lizzo.

   1. Or Man-chelle Obama. Big Mike

   2. …or Felonia Von PantSuit.

9. …than watch CNN
   .

10. …than on my dick

    1. Coward.

11. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than hear another word salad from Cock Socket Harris.

12. …drive an electric car.

    1. GOOD CALL KIM!

       You don’t drive and electric car, the electric car drives you.
       “Self driving technology”

       I can see it now in the news “Today, dissident Kim was driving his newly acquired electric vehicle, and took a sharp right turn around a sharp left curve, and went down a steep embankment. Kim was an outspoken opponent of the People’s Democratic Party.

13. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than get a massage from a woMAN named Jenny, who is really a man that used to be named JOHNNY.

14. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than drink Flint Michigan tap water.

    1. Well, the hot sauce is painful, but it won’t kill you.

       1. If the choice was between death by hot-sauce, or waking up next to Taylor Lorenz…

15. … cut short my invigorating walking tour of Gaza, marveling at the many glorious historical sights!
    .
    *****
    .
    … Hillary’s bloomers!
    .
    *****
    .
    … visit the llama petting zoo and be the target of another Hawk Tuey launched with precision aim!

16. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than see Rosie O’Donnell, Nancy Pelosi and / or Kathy Hochul stripping during amateur night at the nudie bar.

17. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than get fucked by Caitlyn Jenner.

18. I’m a Cajun. You mean you DON’T use hot sauce eye drops?

    Pussies.

    1. Hot sauce eye drops? I’m venturing to guess that there is at least one totally sick fuck who mixes hot sauce with lotion and masturbates to pictures of Hillary Clinton until the dog is chafed.

19. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than lube up my asshole and sit on top of a pole. Then again, I’m NOT from Northampton Massachusetts.

    1. P-town. It’s okay. lol

20. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops every day for a year than have to wake up even once next to Whoopi Goldberg.

21. I’d rather use hot sauce eye drops than vote for any Democrat in the 2024 election.

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