As Longtime Readers all know, I look on most “studies” nowadays with the utmost skepticism, being as they generally employ shoddy data collection techniques, poor sampling and / or stupid analytic conclusions.
All that said, I found this one, from this study, to be at least credible:
Most relationships start with terrible or awkward sex.
Well, duh. That’s true of pretty much most human interaction,because you’re on unfamiliar territory and you need to get things straightened out before you can make it work properly.
Within the report, however, was a factoid which I found downright depressing:
69% of Americans admit that they get feelings of excitement right before sex with a new partner.
Now the last time I had sex with a new partner was during the Clinton presidency, so my memory may be failing me. But FFS: what other feelings can one have before first-time sex, if not excitement? Dread? Nausea? Fear? Disgust? And to make it worse: if 69% of folks get excited before a first-time bonk, that means that 31% don’t get excited, which seems incredible. I can understand pre-bonk anxiety, of course — which over half of people admit to — but one can be anxious about something yet still be excited about it. But 31 percent?
As I suggested above, this may just be shitty data, in which case we can carry on with our lives. But if the data can be trusted, then we as a society are in deep shit when something so basic, so natural, and (speaking from memory again) so much fun is not exciting.
Bullshit.
69%. 69. Excuse me whilst I snigger.
That statistic may actually be encouraging in a way. Because a relationship that starts with “great sex” is likely to founder when other factors come into play.
It reminds me of something I noticed a while back: there are some businesses who advertise “since 1938” or “since 1931”, but I never see “since 1924” or “since 1928”. I think it’s because something that’s started in difficult conditions has a much better chance of long-term survival than something which starts when things are lush and easy. Maybe it’s the same with relationships.