And speaking of German carmakers:
...all together now: “You had ONE job!”
From the Dept. of Deportation:
...gotta start somewhere, right?
...keywords: honor killing.
From the Police Blotter:
...[cue Elvis voice] ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ Viva Las Vegas! ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪
...let’s all congratulate the Britcops for having eliminated all other crime, so they can now go after the haters.
From the Dept. of Education:
...”multiple students” — what we could call a “high-achieving” molester.
...no they aren’t. It’s during Democrat/Gun Control presidencies when the NRA gets their biggest bump in fundraising.
News in general:
...lessee: import hundreds of thousands of Muslims, Christian suffer hate crimes. Cause, meet effect. Note that “anti-Christian hate crimes” are non-existent in Poland, which doesn’t allow Muslim immigration, but that’s because the Polish govt is raycisss.
...when you give up control of your life to Skynet, just don’t be surprised when Skynet fucks you in the ass.
...strong words of praise, that is. Also, keyword left out of headline: Taylor Swift’s Versace outfit.
...at least they were a male and a female soldier, which in today’s world is probably a win.
...and using DuckDuckGo, it’s #1.
In this week’s 
...keyword: California.
And finally, a little stroll down 
as we contemplate an earlier Pirelli calendar:
…when everything’s so black and white, it’s easy.