The No-Sales Company

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, this has happened:

Jaguar sales take a nosedive after fierce backlash to ‘woke’ brand

Jaguar sales have nosedived by more than a quarter in the last year following the legendary British car marque’s dramatic ‘woke‘ rebrand. 

The company was mauled for ditching the iconic ‘growler’ badge, used for decades on grilles and bonnets, and replacing it with a curved geometric ‘J’ badge.

Other controversial changes included unveiling a bright pink concept car, which was aimed at updating Jaguar’s image for the electric age. 

But design experts and Jag fans ridiculed the makeover, branding it ‘cultural vandalism’ and the ‘most destructive marketing move ever’.

Now new industry registration figures released by parent company, Jaguar Land Rover (JLR) revealed the number of cars sold by the Indian-owned firm fell by 12,459 to just 33,320 in 2024.

Fear not, however:

…but carmaker’s classic Range Rover and Defender models are still popular

Meanwhile, sales of JLR’s Range Rover SUV have boomed, with the firm championing ‘strong wholesale growth’ for the 12 per cent increase during the quarter compared to a year earlier. 

Sales of classic Range Rovers rose by 22 per cent, while the Sport and Evoque models rose by 17 per cent and 15 per cent respectively. Defender sales also surged by 13 per cent, while Discovery sales increased by 1.5 per cent. 

Which leads us to this tragic scenario:

Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of wokistas.

3 comments

  1. The people running these companies can’t be that stupid. Even if they live in their own little bubble, surely they’ve seen other companies afflicted with the “go woke go broke” crap. There must be some extremely intense govt pressure to force them to this step, or else they are all lizard people for real and doing whatever the mothership tells them. Bottom line, the CEO types would sell cyanide to kindergarteners if they thought there was profit there. For them to intentionally bankrupt a company over DEI and green bullshit doesn’t make any sense cause I’m betting most of them at the top don’t believe that shit anyway.

    And that concept car looks like complete shit.

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