Like we couldn’t have guessed.
Author: Kim du Toit
The No-Sales Company
To the surprise of absolutely nobody, this has happened:
Jaguar sales take a nosedive after fierce backlash to ‘woke’ brand
Jaguar sales have nosedived by more than a quarter in the last year following the legendary British car marque’s dramatic ‘woke‘ rebrand.
The company was mauled for ditching the iconic ‘growler’ badge, used for decades on grilles and bonnets, and replacing it with a curved geometric ‘J’ badge.
Other controversial changes included unveiling a bright pink concept car, which was aimed at updating Jaguar’s image for the electric age.
But design experts and Jag fans ridiculed the makeover, branding it ‘cultural vandalism’ and the ‘most destructive marketing move ever’.
Now new industry registration figures released by parent company, Jaguar Land Rover (JLR) revealed the number of cars sold by the Indian-owned firm fell by 12,459 to just 33,320 in 2024.
Fear not, however:
…but carmaker’s classic Range Rover and Defender models are still popular
Meanwhile, sales of JLR’s Range Rover SUV have boomed, with the firm championing ‘strong wholesale growth’ for the 12 per cent increase during the quarter compared to a year earlier.
Sales of classic Range Rovers rose by 22 per cent, while the Sport and Evoque models rose by 17 per cent and 15 per cent respectively. Defender sales also surged by 13 per cent, while Discovery sales increased by 1.5 per cent.
Which leads us to this tragic scenario:
Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of wokistas.
Rant Of The Day
“You guys all voted for Karen Bass, the mayor of Los Angeles. You all voted for Gavin Newsom, and now you fucking get what you get, now that your house is on fire.
“So here’s what’s going to happen. All these people who are deep blue Democrats are now going to have to pull a permit to rebuild, and they’re going to get the 28 year old bitch from the Coastal Commission telling them to go fuck off and then they’re going to vote for Trump or whoever’s Trumpian next. When they start getting the regulation, they’re going to go nuts. And when they start running into the bureaucracy and the red tape, they’re going to start going nuts and they’re going to vote for Rick Caruso next time. They’re going to find out they’re going to get bit by their own snake. They’re going to convert.
“I am telling you, these are the bluest people on the planet and they’re going to be fucking rip shit pissed when the City and the Coastal Commission tell them to fuck off. We’re going to have to restructure the whole thing because we can’t have nine angry lesbians controlling everything that goes on in Malibu, the Palisades and Santa Monica.” — Adam Corolla
He had me at “nine angry lesbians”.
I Wish I’d Said That
From Steve Kruiser:
People Who Blame All Natural Disasters on Climate Change Should Be Clubbed Like Baby Seals
Not that I have any desire to club baby seals — my own prescription would be to tie them to a chair and beat them with chains — and as Kruiser himself says, “By the way, the headline about clubbing baby seals… was a joke. I hated seal-clubbing the one time I did it.”
But whether being clubbed or beaten with chains, these eco-loons deserve it.
Monday Funnies
And so, to alleviate the headache:
…and a reminder:
To continue:
And while we’re there:
Speaking of assholes, let’s talk about libertarians:
And thence to winter’s road maintenance:
And to end with some decent alternatives to Monday gloom:
Now get on with yer week, will ya?
Classic Beauty: Diana Dors
It is difficult to read her biography without sorrow for Diana Dors’s career, which consisted mainly of exploitation, outright abuse (e.g. abortions forced on her by her lovers) and a succession of movie roles promised but never fulfilled.
Most of the above came from her appearance — although it must also be said that she was also a naughty, naughty girl — so let’s see what all the fuss was about.
Let’s look at the tout ensemble now:
We’ll save the color pics for another time.