Big Picture

I’m always amazed that people can sometimes get hoodwinked by statistics, but then I spent probably half my life working with the damn things, so I’m more or less immune to the problem. Here’s one which could affect me personally:

More than 120 Uber and Lyft drivers have reportedly sexually assaulted their passengers, according to a report by CNN.
After analyzing police reports, federal court records and county court databases across the US, the cable news channel found that over the last four years, at least 103 Uber drivers and 18 Lyft drivers have allegedly raped, forcibly touched or kidnapped passengers, among other crimes.

Whoever wrote this scare story needs to get a kick in the ass. Here’s the first part: the appearance up front of the total number — which is alarming, I’ll admit.

I’ll ignore the Lyft number for the moment, because I’m an Uber driver.

Granted, the hundred-odd incidences (rounding down to a manageable number) involving Uber drivers is too high — hell, one is too many — but we’re dealing with human beings here, and any human activity is prone to abuse.

At least the number of years was disclosed — four — which averages about 25 per annum. Still too many, but not as scary as the magic 100. But the killer statistic is really the one which CNN buries much later in the “report”, which is, 100 out of how many total Uber trips or events over four years did these attacks take place.

That number is, according to Uber, is 2.4 billion. In other words, the chances of anyone getting molested by an Uber driver are 1 in 24 million.

Even allowing (let’s say) that only unaccompanied women are going to get molested, and they account for about half of all Uber trips — which is roughly my experience — that’s still only 1 in 12 million.

Now factor in geography — i.e. places where the Uber driver population is skewed towards men most likely to commit these crimes — and the stats, just looking at the last names of people who are accused of such crimes, tend to support the hypothesis that these criminals fall into the Middle-Eastern and African  demographic, and many, especially in large urban metropolises, are fairly-recent immigrants — and the picture becomes especially clear.

What’s disturbing about all this is that Uber does screen potential drivers before enlisting them, which begs the question as to whether their screening process — or at least the proficiency of the company that Uber uses to do the screening — should not be more comprehensive or thorough. And you can be sure that Uber will do just that — because they too say that even one such incidence is too many.

Still, ladies: it looks like you’re safer taking an Uber trip* than walking (or even driving) to your destination, especially in a strange locale.

That’s the conclusion to be taken from the CNN report, even if that’s not necessarily the one that CNN wanted you to.


*You’re even safer, of course, if you have me as your Uber driver — unless of course I forgot to take my “special” pill that morning… [exit, drooling]

5 Worst Airports

…that I’ve ever flown into, out of or through:

  • John F. Kennedy, New York  (JFK) — considering its location, it’s a disgrace. Baggage handlers are thieves (luggage routinely disappears after being unloaded), staff are New York Rude, and the p.a. system would probably be more intelligible if they hired retired drill sergeants to bellow the announcements through megaphones.
  • LaGuardia, New York (LGA) — Rude, obnoxious and uncaring staff everywhere, and only about 10% can speak English at all, let alone fluently. You could die anywhere in LGA and it would take a week for your corpse to be discovered, or attended to.
  • O.R. Tambo, Johannesburg (JNB) — When the TSA-style security officials empty the cash out of your wallet while the others are making you unpack your carry-on bag… when flying out, keep your cash in your pockets.
  • Bangalore/ Bengelaru, India (BLR) — Dirty, inefficient, no idea how to handle crowds, no passenger conveniences (e.g. restaurants). Don’t even get me started on going through Immigration / Customs, whether arriving or departing.
  • Leonardo da Vinci / Fiumicino, Rome (FCO) — Being Italian, they still haven’t decided which name to use, some twenty-five years after deciding to rename the place. Check-in staff are notorious for just disappearing if there are too many passengers and canceled flights for them to handle. It is easier to drive to Milan (MXP) and fly out of there, instead of trying to deal with FCO during chaotic situations (which happen about every other day, it would appear).

Dishonorable mentions: Los Angeles (LAX) and Charles De Gaulle (CDG) — most confusing airports to navigate through in the world. It would work better if crowd control was managed by Disney; instead, it’s managed by Mickey Mouse, in both airports. I speak French fluently, and I still couldn’t understand the p.a. announcements at CDG. Perhaps they have an exchange program with JFK…

Your nominations in Comments.

“Dear Dr. Kim”

“Dear Dr. Kim,
“I like keeping myself fit, so I jog every day, sometimes twice a day. My boyfriend resents all this time I spend away from him, and told me to stop. In fact, he threatened to break off our engagement if I didn’t. What should I do?”
— Fitness-Obsessed, Los Angeles

Dear Obsessive:
Keep jogging. Frankly, if he’s that much of a control freak (and he is), then you’ll be well rid of him. And for your next boyfriend, pick someone who’s as big an idiot about jogging as you are.
— Dr. Kim

When Technology Sucks

I have frequently railed against modern technology on these here pages, and just as often been called a Luddite or Old Fart etc. for doing so. Here’s the latest little fad, and its downside, which came under my baleful gaze:

BMW has claimed it is powerless to prevent criminals hacking into its cars.
In emails to a customer seen by the Daily Mail, the German giant acknowledged its latest keyless models were vulnerable to thieves using gadgets widely available online.
However, it insisted it cannot accept any responsibility for this.
The Mail has highlighted a surge in thefts using ‘relay boxes’ to extend the signal from owners’ key fobs to steal vehicles outside their homes.

Perhaps I’m missing something, but isn’t this “remote / keyless start” thing basically for those who are just too lazy to insert a key into a lock and turning it? (And spare me the “soccer moms with armfuls of groceries” spiel, please.) If I’ve missed some lifesaving feature that this technology brings, let me know about it — but be warned that I’m going to be a tough sell. The way I see it, it’s a little frippery invented to “improve” a product that doesn’t need much improvement (see: electronic seat setting “memory”) and simply adds yet another cost / opportunity to break and incur horrendous repair costs.

Also, as the above article reveals, it makes it easier for car thieves to steal your car, all while BMW et al. shrug their corporate shoulders and ask Pontius to hand over the basin when he’s done.

My VW Tiguan does have an electronic unlocking fob, and I use it simply because the actual keyhole is buried beneath a plastic shield in the door handle; but if the little battery inside goes phut, I doubt I’ll ever replace it. I’ll just take off the shield and go back to using the car key to unlock the door, as invented by God Henry Ford.

As for this remote-starting gizmo, I’ll only ever buy a car with one if you can permanently disable the wretched thing without voiding your warranty; otherwise, it’s on to the next model, or if all of them include that little thieves’ helper in the future, something a little more to my taste; something (duh) older:

You see, back in 1968 Mercedes didn’t screw around with unnecessary crap; they just made simple, gorgeous sports cars like this 230 SL. Sure, an enterprising car thief could probably nick it, too; but he’d have to work a little harder than just by buying a $5 relay box from Amazon.

Enough Already

As much as I am in awe of Kim Rhode’s prowess with a shotgun and her Olympic / World Championship achievements, I’m starting to think that she’s an idiot.

California thought they were onto something. Since they can’t seem to control guns, even though they really keep trying to, they decided to control bullets instead. After all, what could go wrong with that.
Well, now the state is staring down the barrel of a lawsuit. It seems that six-time Olympic medalist Kim Rhode takes a bit of exception to the new rules.

So she’s filed a lawsuit against the state, arguing that they’re interfering with her livelihood because under their new law, nobody can ship ammunition into California from another state or something like that. (I mostly ignore what California does because they’re batshit crazy and I don’t want any of that crazy to rub off on me.)

Kim (if I can call you that), please. The state of California doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your livelihood. In fact, they hate you and all the other sport shooters in the California because you show that law-abiding gun owners can be trusted and your shooting is a positive thing — and they can’t have that because they’re selling a narrative that all gun owners are eeevil killers and a powder keg waiting to explode and go insane, murdering a whole bunch of Innocent People.

So please, please leave the stupid place and go to Arizona or Texas or somewhere that will appreciate you and your skills and not try to screw you over anyhow they can. You’ve stood up for your principles, and that’s a good thing. But enough is enough; leave them to their own devices and let them sink into the pit of their own construction. All that’s going to happen is that if you win your lawsuit, California will find some other way to mess with gun owners, and another lawsuit will not help there either.

By the way, the above applies to all my other gun-loving Readers stuck in the Golden Shower State. I appreciate your stubbornness and all that good stuff, but really, it’s time to GTF out of there.