I have this opinion that if women are to be treated exactly the same as men, then when they fuck up bigly, their names should be reported in the news rather than covered up.
Or else, in the above case, we’d all think that the Navy is afraid that the ongoing feminization of their force may be compromised. But perhaps I’m being too cynical.
Run with me on this one.
Suppose that there were alien life forms out somewhere in the universe, and that they sent out exploratory missions to study life on other planets. Then they came to our planet, somehow managing to evade all our oh-so sophisticated tracking systems and such, and landed here, where the very first person they encountered was:
There are all sorts of reactions one could imagine, on being faced with Keef for the first time:
Feel free to add your suggestions in Comments.
(Keith’s reaction on seeing the aliens: “I have got to get me some more of that shit!”)
You suggestions in Comments.
In ascending order of horrible:
…and a bonus for my Brit Readers:
Your suggestions in Comments… (and “in my ex-wife’s bed” doesn’t count).
My loathing for airlines has been well documented on these pages (couldn’t be bothered to find the links, you’ll just have to take my word for it), but even my cynicism about their foul underhandedness was insufficient to prevent a full-blown RCOB when I read this little tale:
British Airways has been accused of leaving customers high and dry after cancelling thousands of flights before hiking up their prices.
Passengers snapped up bargain fares earlier this year after tickets to Dubai and Tel Aviv were being sold for as low as £167.
But the airline claims the cheap offers were a mistake and sensationally cancelled all tickets on Friday – prompting fury among customers.
“Mistake”… yeah, I bet it was, you godless cocksuckers. Note the unapologetic “fuck you” statement at the end:
‘Errors like this are exceptionally rare, and if they do occur, under contract law, there is no binding contract between the parties.’
I will never forget how BA fucked me when the family flew to India many years ago. We flew into London, spent the night out near Oxford, then flew out the next day to Bangalore. Our checked luggage was weighed at Heathrow, and was not overweight (as I recall, the limit was about 50lbs per bag — 22kg?).
Imagine my surprise when I checked in at Bangalore Airport (itself a fucking nightmare) for the return journey, only to find that BA’s “allowable” weight for the return trip had shrunk to 40lbs. The choice was to pay the (exorbitant) weight penalty, or call The Mrs. to catch a cab to the airport to fetch the stuff that constituted the excess. (She was staying on for a week to finish her training gig.) Of course, option #2 was never going to happen because in Bangalore’s notorious traffic, it would have taken her two hours to get to the airport, and our flight was leaving in one hour. So I paid — I forget how much, but $400 per suitcase (three) seems to come to mind. And when I complained, I was simply told to fuck off and die that I should have read the small print in the ticket “contract” — and when I did, I found that the smaller return allowance was indeed noted — on page 12, in tiny print.
I have been angry with airlines on many occasions, but nothing beat my ire at BfuckingA on that night, and I swore never to fly them again. I managed to keep that promise for many years, but last year I was forced to fly with them (twice!) because I had no choice.
No doubt I’ll have to use these amoral fucks again in the future, but I am going to be extremely wary.
Considering that all airlines nowadays seem to treat us oh-so-inconvenient passengers not as human beings but as self-propelled cargo, it seems as though we have little choice in the matter.
A pox on all of them.
Over at Day By Day, Chris Muir is holding his annual fundraiser. Please go over there and make a contribution. I’d hate my first-thing-in-the-morning read to disappear through lack of $$. Plus, Chris is one of the better (if not the best) of the online political satirists, and excellence should be rewarded.
