I am SO proud…
Author: Kim du Toit
Dept. Of Righteous Shootings
You’re a granny living all by yourself in Bingham County, Idaho when some choirboy not only breaks into your house but also attacks you, injuring you severely.
So you shoot him dead. The End.
(Sent to me by Longtime Reader Gene K., thankee.)
3 Voices I Can’t Stand
…and I’m talking about singing voices, not (say) political screeching like that of Hillary Clinton.
When these guys start singing, I hit the Mute or Skip buttons:
- Bob Dylan (any song except Lay Lady Lay, which I can get at least halfway through before hitting click)
- Steve Tyler (Aerosmith; Dream On is the most egregious offender)
- Van Morrison (Brown-Eyed Girl… OMFG kill me now, but everything he sings is horrible)
And let’s not forget the chicks:
- Joni Mitchell (I’d rather listen to blackboard fingernails ad infinitum than any one of her songs)
- Joan Baez (preachy bullshit, and that vibratissimo… ugh)
- early Dolly Parton (until she stopped warbling and started singing)
Don’t get me started on the modern chick singers; you all know about them.
Git ‘Er Done
Looks as though Britishland has just become closer to Texas.
UK Business Secretary Kemi Badenoch welcomed Texas Governor Greg Abbott in Westminster to sign the Statement of Mutual Cooperation, hailing it a “landmark.”
The pact will address regulatory barriers to trade between Britain and Texas, helping to boost investment and commerce between the two economies and making it easier for companies to do business.
I’ll believe it when I can get Wadworth 6X from my local booze store, there’s a Greggs in the mall up the road, and a chippie in Plano West’s Legacy Hall.
And when I’m Over There visiting the usual crowd of maniacs and drunkards (a.k.a. my dear Brit friends), I expect to find decent salsa and Tex-Mex. (Okay, I won’t actually eat the stuff, I just want to see it there. In the battle for my belly between chimichangas and sausage rolls, there can only be one outcome.)
Go to it, Britishlanders. I will accept no excuses.
Caption Competition $323
Your suggestions in Comments.
Today’s Earworm
Actually, Jimmy Cliff was on my mind when I went to bed last night, and was still there when I woke up this morning.