Author: Kim du Toit

Pointless Shit

Marketing / Advertising, Modernism, Old Fartism, Technology

I’m always ranting about how the auto industry has overloaded basic transportation with evermore-complex technology (3 seat-position memory options? FFS), but of course, they’re not the only ones.

Here’s another example, seen via a link on Insty’s page:

What a load of bullshit.  My old Keurig essentially has two options:  size of cup, regular/strong brew, and that’s it.  (“High Altitude Setting”? FFS #2)

Oh wait… I forgot mine’s warning light for “There’s No More Water In The Reservoir, You Idiot, Can’t You See Through The Clear Plastic?”

Let’s not forget the lie of “Brushed Silver” when it’s just shiny plastic.

And forgive me, but the whole point of a Keurig is that you can make a cuppa quickly without waiting for the water to boil, so the “Auto On/Off” switch is the work of Satan.  (Yeah, “saves electricity” blah blah blah… fuck the whales.)

Needless to say, in the spirit of manufacturers everywhere, my model Keurig is no longer available;  so when it finally quits working, I’ll be forced to buy one of these multi-featured over-complex monstrosities at, of course, a price which is 40% more than I paid for mine.

Don’t even talk to me about the cost of replacing my ageing VW, or my soaring blood pressure will ensure that the Tiguan outlives its owner.

Got Me Thinking

Gratuitous Chick Pics, Technology

Here’s a little snippet:

…and here’s a pic of the slag herself:

Ugh.

Let me tell you, the only way I’d be tempted into spending money on something like this is if the offer was for this model:

And I’d pay a premium for the “Sexy Contralto Italian Accent” option.

Classic Beauty: Ingrid Pitt

Classic Beauty

I have to thank Longtime Reader Pierre (who is French, and somehow stays loyal to this rantbucket despite all my slurs on the Frogs), who pointed out to me that my Classic Beauty section has a glaring omission:  to wit, horror-movie star Ingrid Pitt.  Quite apart from her astounding beauty, which we’ll enjoy below, she is to my knowledge the only Classic Beauty who survived a Nazi concentration camp in WWII.

Anyway, here she is, in black and white:

And in living color:

Lovely.

Another of Pierre’s suggestions next week.  He has exquisite taste.

Same Problem, Different Continent

Drive Time

Two weeks ago, you were stranded in St. Louis and had to buy a car to drive home.

Guess what?  It’s happened again, only this time your airport was Schipol, outside Amsterdam. The problem?  You were going to fly home from Madrid, Spain, so somehow you have to get from Holland to Spain (a full two-day drive), but you decide you’ll take five days because that’s when your flight leaves Madrid, using a route roughly along these lines:

or:

And luckily, you discover ER Classics, just a short train ride from Amsterdam, where you will find choices like this:

So browse the showroom and pick yourself a car for this one-way trip through northern Europe.  There are a lot more choices here than there were at St. Louis, so take your time… and be assured, as before, that the car will be reliable enough to get you there, needing only refueling along the way.

Oh, and the weather will be warm, mostly sunny but with occasional light rain (because Yurp).

Let me know in Comments.

Wings Of Clay

Aircraft, History

…or, an unvarnished look at the WWII German Messerschmitt 262.

Along the way, this screamingly-funny chap slaughters all sorts of sacred cows, e.g. that the Me262 could have won the war for the Nazis, that Albert Speer was a genius, that German technology was superior to that of the Allies, and that Herman Goering was an incompetent asshole.

Okay, that last one happens to be true, as historian Lord HardThrasher sets about him with a cricket bat, calling most of history’s revered sources a pack of liars and completely debunking the myth of Germany’s technocrats, e.g. Willi Messerschmitt (yeah, the guy who designed the Me109).

Along the way, he proves that Allied bombing actually worked better than today’s naysayers would have you believe, and that bad things happen when you allow the reigns of power to be wielded by simpletons and incompetents.

But you all knew that.

There is plenty of bad language, but as Readers of this here website, you should be used to that by now.