Author: Kim du Toit

Not Shocking; Hilarious

Morons & Idiots

If this little story doesn’t make you guffaw with laughter, we can’t be friends:

This is the shocking moment a King’s Guard horse bites a tourist after she touches the animal while posing for a photo.  Video footage, which has gone viral on social media with over 855,000 views, shows the woman putting her hand on the horse’s neck while posing for a photograph.  The horse then swings its head towards the woman before clamping down on her saree.

My only regret is that it didn’t bite the fool woman’s tit off.  It tried its best, though.

Where do people get the idea that the world is their own personal little stage where they can do whatever they like, without suffering any consequences?

Update:  Heeeeeerrrre comes another one!  This time, Snowball got a good grip.

There Goes The Neighborhood

Elections, Marxists

So there’s going to be a General Election in Britishland on Jul 4.  From all accounts, it will be the date on which Britain declared its independence… from sane government.

This is because at the moment, polling suggests that the “Conservative” Party is going to get its ass handed to them, while the Raving Loony Labour Party is going to come to office promising all sorts of the usual Commie bullshit (Tax Teh Rich©, Nationalize Everything© etc.), as well as all the other issues so beloved of modern-day socialists:  absolute belief and support for Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©, ditto for The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©, not to mention the Encourage Lawlessness Principle©.

Don’t be surprised to see the Brexit Referendum overturned either, whereupon Britishland will once again become part of the Fourth Reich©.

I know that The Englishman is utterly despondent about all this;  I tried to contact Mr. Free Market on the topic, but he is incommunicado — no doubt busily trying to organize domicile in Monaco or Bermuda to escape the looming catastrophe.  As for the Sorensons, I do recall hearing a while back some mutterings about the advantages of life in Spain, so maybe they’re also ummm exploring their options.  Or, in a recent email from Mrs. Sor (a.k.a. The Catholic):

“You might find me and Himself as neighbors if the Conservatives lose…”

I don’t even want to think about how much I’d love that.

My other Brit Readers, of course, are welcome to share their feelings on the topic.

One Out Of Three Ain’t Bad

Grooming

Consider this pic of one couple’s happy day, and spot what causes my nuts to ache:

No, it’s not the bride’s tattoo — I’ve pretty much given up on that irk — and in fact she’s the only pretty thing at this little ceremony.  Nor is it the female minister / ministress, who looks like she was just pulled out of a company meeting, complete with name tag.  (FFS, if we’re going to have female priests, can they at least wear the fucking uniform?)

Anyway, none of those get up my nose as much as the groom’s medieval haircut.

This seems to be all the fashion nowadays, and I think it’s uglier than Hillary Clinton’s fat naked buttocks.

The only consolation I’m going to take out of this is that when his grandchildren look at Pawpaw’s wedding-day pics, they’ll laugh their asses off.

I’m assuming, of course, that he’s capable of actually fathering any children, because that’s not clear (unless the bride is already pregnant hum hum).  Even then, her rather alarming stomach protuberance isn’t evidence of any prowess on his part, because that might be / probably is Homeboy Jamaal’s chocolate babycake cooking in her little oven, and this Ginger Childe Harold is just the substitute father.

And by the way:  brown shoes at a wedding?  Oh well, it least it wasn’t Adidas sneakers or flip-flops…