So let’s look at some heroes — well, one, anyway.
…ain’t that the truth.
So strap on the Scotch goggles, because here’s Nicola McLean:
So follow her and see where she’s going…
Author: Kim du Toit
Classic Beauty: Mistresses (2)
The first in this series generated an interesting response from Readers in Comments, and I have to make a couple points before we look at the next one.
Firstly, verisimilitude: it is extraordinarily difficult to recreate the human face in a drawing or painting. A glance at any judicial court artist’s work should suffice, or those of the guys you see at state fairs who promise to render a decent portrait of your kids / girlfriend / wife. Most fail, abjectly, at the task. Portrait painters of yore were probably little different.
Several people commented on the beauty (or lack thereof) of the women; but even taking the above into account, we have to remember two things: beauty, as one Reader pointed out, is defined differently in different eras. What was considered “handsome” in Edwardian times would have been regarded in the 1920s “flapper” period as horribly overweight, whereas few men of Edwardian times would have looked with favor on those skinny, flat-chested flappers, who were clearly wasting away and not capable of producing heirs.
What we have to assume, therefore, is that the mistresses of kings were probably far more attractive (especially to the kings) than as depicted. It might also be that the women had attractions that had nothing to do with beauty: witty, waspish, skilled exponents of soixante-neuf, who knows? What they were was different to the various queens, very available (women are attracted to powerful men) and that’s probably all that it took.
Anyway, having mentioned the Edwardian era, let’s look at the first of the Edwards (Edward VII of Great Britain, after whom the 1902-1910 era was named), who was a renowned ladies’ man of prodigious sexual appetite. Here are but some of his bedmates:
Alice Keppel
Interestingly enough, Mrs. Keppel is the great-grandmother of the current Queen Camilla, herself the one-time mistress of Charles, Prince of Wales (and now King Charles III), and himself the great-great grandson of Edward VII.
Got all that? There will be a test. Next:
Jennie, Lady Spencer- Churchill
...Winston’s mum.
Then the actresses, among whom were:
Sarah Bernhardt
…the Divine Sarah.
Moving along to the next Edward (VIII), who was famous, of course, for renouncing the throne because he was besotted with a married (later divorced) woman, one
However, our “David” (his family name) had been a very busy boy before Mrs. Simpson ever came on the scene, to wit:
Freda Dudley Ward
...who was, by the way, the first married woman he wanted to marry.
Marguerite Alibert
This French totty later shot and killed her husband, so he really could be said to have dodged a bullet here. Any man of experience can see that Teh Crazy is strong with this one.
…and, it was rumored, with her twin sister as well.
Sporting lot, these British kings. In the next of this series, we’ll go a little further back down the line, and this time, to the French guys.
My Favorite Things (Part 2)
Here’s the second part of the above topic (Part 1 here), this time of 50 excellent things costing less than $750. Some of these might be decent / affordable Christmas presents…
51. LG CM4590 XBOOM Audio Set – $250
52. Zassenhaus Manual Bread Slicer — $220
53. L.L.Bean Snow Sneaker Boots — $140
I’ve been wearing these since 1987, and I’m only on my third pair (purchased last month). They are comfortable, last almost forever, are waterproof and astoundingly warm. Best of all, they are much lighter than regular winter boots like Sorel. If you live in a cold climate or are traveling to a cold country, I cannot recommend them highly enough. (Pro tip: use cheap Dr. Scholls inserts to make them even more comfortable and easier to pull on.)
54. Mont Blanc Meisterstück Classique Fountain Pen — $725
55. Saddleback Doctor’s Leather Duffle Bag — $600
56. Naked Armor Straight Razor — $120
57. Ruger Single-Six Convertible Revolver (.22LR/.22WMR) — $700
58. Marks & Spencer Linen Shirt — $50
Every time I go Over There, I buy half a dozen of these, and they last until the next time I cross The Pond. Best casual shirts in the world.
59. Steiner MM1050 Military-Marine 10×50 Binoculars — $500
I’ve tried almost all of them — and these represent the best cost / performance / ruggedness option. I never travel anywhere without mine.
60. Barton Leather 3-Watch Case — $110
…which may not be sufficient for serious watch collectors (like Reader Weetabix), so there’s this one:
61. TAWBURY 24-Watch Case — $220
62. Standard of London Antique Brass Desk Compass — $70
63. Stainless Steel Water Pitcher with Ice Guard — $35
64. Wheeler Space Saver Screwdriver Set — $15
65. Scandal — $20
The Christine Keeler story, and very close to the actual history.
66. Armored Steamer Trunk — $250
Mine has wheels, but whatever.
67. The Last Detective Complete Collection — $150
68. Caldwell DeadShot Front and Rear Bag Set — $20
69. Jack Pyke Fleece Gilet — $45
70. Braun Series 9 Pro 9465cc Electric Razor — $300
71. Russell Hobbs TR9250WTR Retro Style Toaster — $120
72. Thursday Boot Co. Captain Model — $200
73. Chopin Nocturnes — Valentina Lisitsa — $90
74. AeroPress Original Coffee Press – $45
75. Foyle’s War: The Complete Saga — $50
76. Springfield 1911 Mil-Spec — $750
77. Barbour® Bede Wellington Boot — $150
78. The Second World War (Hardcover) — $120
79. Roland CUBE 120XL Bass Amp — $600
No link because Roland stopped making it, the idiots [2,000-word rant deleted]. But it’s unquestionably the amp I would have carried around and used back in the 1970s, if they’d made it then.
80. Husky 18″ Wide Mouth Tool Bag — $65
I actually use one of these as my range bag; stronger, more accessible and doesn’t advertise that it’s a gun bag. Also much cheaper than most of same from one of the “operator” brands like 5.11.
81. Marks & Spencer 10pk Pure Cotton Cool & Fresh™ Trunks — $68
I buy these every five years, two packs at a time, and I wear them exclusively. I’ve tried other “premium” brand undies from time to time, and they’re lousy, all of them. Life is too short to be uncomfortable. And yeah, only in black. Because life is also too short to waste time deciding on the color of an undergarment.
82. The Colony Hotel, Miami Beach — $120/night
Art Deco decadence, found in the right place for it.
83. Straw Fedora Beach Hat — $35
I’m on my third or fourth one of these, since about 2004.
84. Estwing E15S Leather-Gripped Hammer — $60
85. Pelikan Classic 200 Fountain Pen — $200
86. S&W 686-6 PLUS .357 MAG — $750
87. LP-099 Multi-Region PAL/NTSC HD CD/DVD Player — $30
…backup for when you-know-who starts “offlining” your online streaming purchases.
88. Panasonic Lumix ZS100 / TZ100 — $600
This is the camera I’ll get when my Olympus and Nikon finally bite the dust — or maybe even before then. (It’s called the ZS in Murka, and TZ in furrin countries.)
89. J.S. Bach: Goldberg Variationen — $20
Okay, if not Barenboim is not to your taste, then Klára Würtz is wonderful, as always.)
90. Waterman Expert Ballpoint Pen — $80
91. Stag Arms AR-15 Left Hand Upper Receiver — $600
…for the kack-handers amongst us.
92. Wire in the Blood: The Complete Series — $40
Scariest and most intellectual detective series I’ve ever watched, and Robson Green is excellent beyond words.
93. DOVO 5/8 Bergischer Lowe Buffalo Horn Razor Set — $500
94. Ariat Heritage Round Toe Boot — $200
95. Fender Acoustic 100 Amp — $450
96. Minnetonka Moosehide Classic Moccasins — $100
Most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn; been wearing them nonstop since 1996, and replace them every other year or so. If I could only wear one kind of shoe for the rest of my life, it would be these. (In winter, #53 Snow Sneakers as above.)
97. Buffalo Jackson Roosevelt Leather Pilot Bag — $350
98. Barbour Classic Beaufort Jacket — $450
As with so many things on this list: buy it once, buy it for life.
99. GALC No.2 Shave Kit — $350
Last, but most certainly not least:
100. Citizen Steely Dan (box set) — $60
Nothing like ’em, before or since.
That was fun. And Oprah? Eat my nuts.
Black Friday Stuff
Wait, that didn’t work. What didn’t I do? Oh yes, add some whiteness:
That’s better. The ammo is from AmmoMan, the handguns and long guns are at Palmetto State Armory.
And just in case you need a few more options, there are these from Outdoor Supplies:
…just in case anyone didn’t get their Ammo Day purchases done.
Reminder: I get no kickbacks from anyone.
HOWEVER: if some kind (and generous, and wealthy) soul from one of the above outlets does want to send me one of these for Christmas …
…the link is in the pic. (I’ve wanted to own a CZ 75B — just like the one in the pic — forever.)
Political Snigger
First we had that “right-wing” libertarian (?) winning big in [Don’t Cry For Me] Argentina, and now the Dutch too seem to have come to their senses (and not a moment too soon):
In yet another sign of a global political shift, the right-wing populist Party for Freedom in the Netherlands is projected to win a large plurality. According to exit polling, the PVV will pick up at least 35 seats while the current ruling coalition will combine for 37 losses while only winning 41 seats total. That makes Geert Wilders, the founder of the Party for Freedom, the big winner.
Of course, this has the Left screaming hair-on-fire stuff:
The Netherlands will join an increasingly long list of West European countries (CH, FR, IT, SE) where the radical right has overtaken the mainstream right has the main party of the right.
Never mind that their definition of “radical right” would, in U.S. terms, make Wilders’s party more like centrist Democrats (anyone remember them?) Over Here. (For those unfamiliar with the terminology: that would be Switzerland, France, Italy and Sweden [!] who have recently moved to the “right”.)
Anyway, getting back to the Dutchies:
“It’s been enough now. The Netherlands can’t take it anymore. We have to think about our own people first now. Borders closed. Zero asylum seekers,” Wilders said in a television debate on the eve of the election.
Sounds kinda like Trump, doesn’t it? Let’s hope that Wilders, unlike Trump, actually starts to do something about the situation once he’s sworn in.
Expect the lawyers to start sharpening their quills so as to try to stop in the courts any commonsense policy he implements — just like our leftist assholes do Over Here.
Let the mass deportations begin… and once again, not a moment too soon.
News Roundup
Let’s start off with some Political News:
...also too incompetent, too corrupt, too socialist, etc.
...oh noes, yet another red wave (which will turn into a pinkish trickle — if that — on Election Day).
And in Furrin Political News:
...which was so unexpected that the socialists didn’t have time to “find” more votes for their candidate.
From the Pentagon Papers:
...fired soldiers to Army: get fucked. (Well, I would.)
...DUDE! Also, typo.
In the Animal Kingdom:
...takes a while to change a whole nation’s cuisine choices, dunnit?
And speaking of foreign shitholes:
...when you’re worse than California, Cuba and Venezuela...
In Sex News:
...begging the question: what exactly was a 20-year-old woman doing in a cemetery at 4am, alone?
...just taking a page from the Schumer/Feinstein playbook, really. [/puke]
...wait: women have orgasms? Must be some new thing.
In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:
...actually, a cheaper solution would be just to ship all the JustStopOil and similar Greenpeace loonies to the Moon. Without space suits.
And when it comes to INSIGNIFICA:
...well, to be fair, nobody uses pocket watches anymore.
...no great loss; it was a terrible show without Clarkson, May and Hammond anyway.
...and nobody cares. However, Hannah Fry is a ginger hotty:
And on that red-hot note, we end the news.