Meanwhile In Texas

Here we go:

A Texas woman was left with brutal injuries after she was viciously attacked by both a snake and a hawk while mowing her lawn. 

Peggy Jones told how she’d been on a tractor mower when the snake fell out of the sky and landed on her at her home in Silsbee.

As it began to tighten around her arm, a hawk then swooped down, and began clawing at a defenseless Jones in an effort to grab its prey.

Beat THAT, Australia.

More Woke Bollocks

Here’s something that gets up my nose (#2,713):

Listen, fuckwits:  “Türkiye” is what they call their country in their language;  “Turkey” is how we spell and pronounce it, just as we change most place names to make them easier for our wooden Anglo vocal cords to pronounce.

I wouldn’t care, except of course that this isn’t done for every country (Deutschland, Russkiya, España etc.), and all they’re doing here is pandering to the Turko-Muzzies.  If you’re going to do this kind of thing, at least try to be consistent.

Calm Invective

Here’s a little oeuvre which deserves airing, despite the appalling grammar:  Indiana Jones And The Last Franchise.

Even though I was not familiar with about 60% of his cultural allusions, the writing was enough to engage me.  After all, you don’t need to be a military strategist to understand that combat is awful, bloody and destructive.  I especially liked this little turn:

And, if you ever haul yourself out of bed and find that you have little to smile about… just look up Disney on Google News. It may not bring you joy, but the schadenfreude will most likely bring a smile to your face. At least a little grin.

That happens early in the piece, and it gets better.  Here’s the pre-climax exposition:

My great-grandfather was a mason. A brick-layer, I mean, not the… well, you know the other type. He was a master of his craft. Back in the 20’s, his skill was in such high-demand that he was paid to travel the world and build structures in places like Shanghai and Glasgow that stand to this day. In an age of cheap, third-world labor, it can be a bit difficult to imagine the artistry, skill, and talent of a good mason. There’s more to it than slopping mortar onto a brick and stacking another on top. You just don’t see a lot of work like what he was doing, these days. Men like him labored to build cities not just for themselves, but their descendants. They spent their lives – some of them gave their lives – so that their descendants would live in a world that they themselves could scarcely imagine. They build us sprawling, glittering skylines of glass and steel and lights. Man-made miracles of engineering and architecture that would be, quite literally, incomprehensible to most humans from before a certain time.

Yet, the cities they built for us, that they left us, are no longer ours. My great-grandfather did most of his work in Pennsylvania and the North-East. He lived in Philadelphia, in a neighborhood his descendants can’t walk through, day or night. His house is still there. I don’t know who lives in it now, if anyone does. I don’t really want to know, either.

All I know is the fruits of his labors, his house, his city — it’s not just that they don’t belong to his descendants, and, arguably, the country he built them for. We can’t even enjoy them. They were wrested out of the hands of the people, and, without consent, broken, smashed, and destroyed by wicked people, who now hand us the smoldering ruins of our predecessors’ lifetime of work, and say with a smile, Here! We made it better! And, if you dare say otherwise, you’re an ungrateful asshole who should be grateful that they’re deigning to give you a damn thing.

Excellent stuff, and well worth the long read.

Sporting Chance

Looks like the scumbags are upping their game:

The world’s deadliest drug cartels have taken the concept of monster trucks to a terrifying level by retrofitting popular pickups with armour, battering rams, and machine gun turrets.

These heavily armed vehicles are used in pitched gun battles between cartels and the police or rival groups. They are known as “monstruos,” “rinocerontes,” or “narcotanques.” The cartels aim to demonstrate their dominance and intimidate their adversaries.

 And a pic:

Now we all know that is precisely the kind of diet that the venerable .50 BMG cartridge is designed for (seen here next to a .30-06 Springfield, for comparison):

And of course, one wonders if the federales  have a few of these things lying around:

(I know that the Barrett rifles are undoubtedly effective, but man, they look like nothing other than industrial machinery.)

I don’t know how thick that armor plating is;  but I have some of that steel-core Austrian mil-surp Hirtenberg 6.5x55mm lying around, have seen its bullet go clear through both sides of a car — don’t ask — and I’m awfully curious to see how well it would work against one of these narcotanques.

Purely out of intellectual curiosity, of course.

When Panic Costs Money

The Greatest Living Englishman has turned his ire towards the BBC, and at climate fearmongers in general:

Amazon Prime star has slammed weather forecasters for spreading what he has described as “green propaganda” in his latest column.

The presenter, 63, went on to explain that due to inaccurate weather reports, he and many other farmers and been forced to “take a massive financial hit” for “absolutely no reason”.

Jeremy recalled how earlier this week, weather presenters had claimed “an apocalyptic storm would arrive in Britain on Tuesday night”.

The Former Top Gear host went on to explain how, due to predictions of weeks of “torrential rain and gales”, he had felt forced to harvest his crops even though they weren’t ready because the moisture content was too high.

“Yes, I’d have to pay £10 a ton to dry the grain after it was harvested but better to take that hit than have the whole lot ruined by the storm,” he wrote in his column for the Sun. 

“We worked tirelessly until 11pm and when I finally crawled into bed, utterly exhausted, I noticed that all of my neighbouring farmers were still out here, doing the same thing.”

Here’s what he was talking about:

But:

The ex-BBC star went on to express his outrage when he had expected to see “Armageddon” the next morning only to be greeted by “blue skies and a gentle breeze”.

“So the farmers had brought in their harvest early and taken a massive financial hit that they can’t afford… for absolutely no reason,” Jeremy fumed.

So he lashed out.

“They feel compelled, when it’s warm, to paint their maps dark red and talk about ‘extreme heat’. And similarly, to keep Greta and the snowflake army happy, they need to say when it’s a bit chilly, that we will all soon be buried under a 20-foot snow drift,” he complained.

“They see their weather forecasts now as political weapons. Baseball bats which can be used to beat the oil companies into submission. And they’ll mangle statistics if that’s what’s necessary.”

He then went on to beg weather forecasters to share “the truth” with farmers and to save their “propaganda forecasts” for people who need to “turn the heating down”.

“They think that the constant wrongness doesn’t matter, because a wonky weather forecast only affects people planning barbecues,” he stated. “But to farmers, it bloody well does matter.”

Frankly, if I were a British farmer, I’d subscribe to an actual meteorogical service and learn to interpret the data for myself.

And refuse to pay the BBC license fee, like millions of other Brits are doing.

News Roundup


And speaking of quickies:


...candidate for “Most Misleading Headline Of The Year” competition.


...pick and cut?  What happened to flaying and impalement?  Oh wait… those watermelons. My bad.

Some Political News:



...a simple glance at past Soviet leaders would emphasize that Commies never give up power voluntarily:  they have to die.


In International Monetary News:


...three words guaranteed to cause mocking laughter:  Euro bailout fund.  And speaking of money:


...wait:  cash-sniffing dogs?  What new totalitarian hell is this?

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Experiment:


I prefer the old-fashioned term “concentration camp”, myself.


...as opposed to “un-sinister” sex attacks on women?

From the True Crime Dept.:


...I know that criminals are seldom PhD candidates, but… seriously?

In the Woke Chronicles:


...am I the only one getting an ever-larger Schadenböner out of this sorry tale?

Never mind;  this next one will cause all boners to wilt like two-week-old lettuce.


...fat, stupid and pervy is no way to go through life, son.

And now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA (and you’ll be SO glad there are no links):

      who they, again?

Finally:


...it’s been a while since we looked at the former newsreader and now Hottest Conservative Babe On The Planet, so here we go:

Is there a better way to end the news than with a pic of Tomi in denim shorts?  I think not.