Ask And Ye Shall Receive

…and how.

Seems as though the city of Miami got sick of the annual Spring Break bacchanalia, and tossed it out, with the expected outcome:

After dropping a tongue-in-cheek video last year about “breaking up” with Spring Break, the city’s slapped on some serious restrictions. For the weekends of March 13-16 and March 20-23, they’re enforcing rules like curfews and bag checks.

Some liquor stores are shutting at 8pm, DUI checkpoints are in place and beach access has been restricted. Miami Beach’s Chief Wayne Jones put it bluntly: “We apologize, but this is necessary. I know it’s painful. Short term pain for long term gain.”

As a result, Spring Break’s taken a hit. Footage from Miami shows deserted beaches and glum party-goers who have found the once-heaving strip eerily quiet.

Some Spring Breakers who jetted off to Miami are now regretting their decision. On TikTok, a duo warned their followers with a blunt “don’t come”. They then declared: “Spring break ain’t the same in Miami no more.”

So what’s a party-hearty Spring Breaker to do?  Where to go?

Well… there’s always the old standby, Fort Lauderdale, who rolled out the red carpet:

Students who live for the party scene have found a new haven as Fort Lauderdale opens its arms wide to welcome them. The city is becoming the go-to spot, with Mayor Dean Trantalis declaring that “anyone” is invited to join the fun.

Mayor Trantalis explained: “We have a different vibe here in Fort Lauderdale versus Miami Beach. I think the mood is edgier in Miami Beach and honestly, I think the beach is sort of an afterthought when it comes to the reason for that destination. Most people are drawn to the party scenes.  Everyone under the sun is welcome. We appreciate everyone regardless of their background, their faith, their race, who they love, Fort Lauderdale is a place for everyone.”

What happened next?  Oh, say it ain’t so:

Spring Break brawl erupts on controversial beach

Would you look at that, it’s mid March and Spring Break is well underway for sun-seeking US college students. Great weather, booze and hundreds of wannabe party-goers all in the same place. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, just when police at the Florida city of Fort Lauderdale thought they’d seen it all after years of annual shenanigans, images from the beach this week may just be a first. You’d be forgiven for allowing American Pie to paint an idyllic Spring Break scene of lads throwing a ball around with a few tins of cold ones to pass the time during the day. At Fort Lauderdale this week, however, it was an altogether more violent sport drawing masses on masses of crowds – boxing.

And pandemonium ensued, so:

Police stormed the ruckus to pull the plug on proceedings. The city of Fort Lauderdale authorities responded to the violence with a statement: “Fort Lauderdale Police witnessed and broke up two incidents on the beach and the crowd complied both times without further issues. There have been no reported or confirmed cases of betting. This type of behavior will not be tolerated.

“Our police department is out along the beach in full force to make this spring break season safe and enjoyable for visitors and residents alike. We encourage anyone who witnesses a disturbance to call 911.”

Until April 12 in high-traffic beach areas, Fort Lauderdale has placed a blanket ban on alcohol, coolers, tents, tables and live or amplified music.

To Hizzoner Mayor Trantalis:  you asked for it;  you got it.  You said it’s “a place for everyone”;  well, not “everyone” is someone you want coming into your town, of course.

In the tags above, this post falls under “Morons & Idiots” — that’s the city of Fort Lauderdale management.  The “Train Smash Women”, of course…

Their dads must be so proud.

Darwin Smiles

In the Heart Of Stone category comes this predictable outcome:

Lance Crosby wanted to be at one with nature, choosing to rely on his senses rather than carry bear spray or his mobile phone…

…and it goes without saying, “or a gun”, so:

…that decision was to cost him his life after he was eaten alive by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park. The 260lb adult female bear, along with her cubs, feasted on the 63-year-old from Montana.

So he became “at one with nature” all right, by becoming bear nom-noms, kinda like berries.

I’m just amazed that being from Montana, he didn’t understand the situation vis-à-vis bears, but apparently he was a nurse from Billings (and not some hippie from Missoula, which would have been my bet).  And at 63, you’d have thought he had more sense, but he didn’t.

The worst part of all of this is that the rangers tracked down and captured the mama grizzly, tested her to see if she was the actual Lance-eater. And when they established that she was, they slaughtered her and sent her cubs off to a zoo.

So because of one moron’s starry-eyed stupidity, everyone came out of this sorry episode just fine and dandy.

Makes me want to find his grave, and pour a pint of gin over it.

After first passing it through my kidneys.

News Roundup

Herewith the recent news:


...executive summary:  they’re being funded by George Soros.


Also:

...they’re both separated/divorced, and Democrats have been in bed with the media since forever.

In :


...also ends funding for Why Democrats Always Lie research, e.g.:


...in a party full of slimy sleazebags, this asshole is exemplary.

And:


...also known as an “ipse dixit” cancelation.

Now for some Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:


...too bad it’s not  a road to the killing fields.  And speaking of killing:


More killing:


...play grownup games, suffer grownup consequences, you little bastard.  Also:


...and in the reign of Emperor Kim, he’d be dangling from a 17-year-old rope.

In the Hearts Of Stone Dept.:


...stop that unseemly cheering and applause, willya?

Now a section all to itself:


...and she looks just like you’d expect her to look.


...”accidentally”, as you will see.

In Woke News:


...bullet, dodged.

And in (non-) Entertainment News:


In guaranteed link-free

       


...well, I did get a steak, at least.  A big one.

And as for getting a bone:  in her house on  :


...I do believe I detect a whiff of the trailer park, but whatever.

And that ends our stroll through the news.

Depends On Your Definition

Oh look!  another one of those “foreign country” lists, only this time it’s all about “friendliness” towards newcomers — specifically expatriates — to the country.  (I’ll talk about that definition further down the page.)

Here’s the list in its entirety.

Let’s just talk about that “friendliness” thing.  The article states:

The result comes from a survey by InterNations, an expat guide, which asked foreign residents in 53 countries around the globe to rate their new home. 
Expats were asked about their social life, whether they felt at home, how easy it was to get used to the culture and the friendliness of the local population.

Right away, I’m going to disqualify from the list any Muslim country — e.g. Turkey and Kuwait — because if you ain’t Muslim yourself (and follow their specific brand of Islam withal) — your treatment by the locals is not going to be that friendly.  That Qatar (22), for example, ranks far ahead of the United States (38) makes the whole list suspect.

Other than religion, which is an obvious speedbump, let’s see how friendly the locals are when you don’t speak — or don’t attempt to speak — their language.  At best you’ll get a shrug;  at worst, you’ll encounter withering xenophobia.  This is especially true of nations for whom English is not the de facto  language of government, or where English is hardly spoken outside a few places in the cities.

I’m not going to re-rank the listings because it’s a big job, and I haven’t been to most of the countries on the list anyway.  But from what I’ve seen…

The only countries I’d even consider moving to — becoming an expat — on the basis of the likely friendliness of the locals, anyway, are the following (in no specific order):

Chile — been there, loved the place, loved the locals that I met when I was there, and I’d make it my first order of business to become fluent in Spanish within a few months, by crash courses, immersion, whatever.  I’m pretty sure I could fit into the culture without much difficulty and I’m pretty sure I could make a go of living there for the rest of my life.  And I love Chilean food, all of it.

Czechia — never been there myself, but everyone I’ve spoken to who has been there for longer than a year has had nothing but good things to say about living there, and that’s good enough for me.  I’d need a lot longer to learn the language because it’s not Anglo-Romantic or Germanic but Western Slavic, although written in Latin script and not Cyrillic.  (This latter factor would disqualify several of the other countries, such as Greece, because I’m not interested in learning how to read as well as to speak.)  I don’t think that immersion would work because there are no points of linguistic similarity between the European languages I do speak and Czech.  So:  a struggle, but probably worth it.  As for Czech food:  like German, it’s apparently heavily weighted towards pork, which does get a little tiring after a while.  That said, I want to try their pork knuckle (koleno)  because apparently it’s incredible.  And there’s always goulash, which I could live on quite easily, and schnitzel, although I prefer the Austrian veal dish to pork.

Poland — same as Czechia.  I have never met a native Pole (and there have been quite a few) whom I’ve not liked immediately, but I realize that learning the language would be hellish difficult (it’s close to Czech, actually).  But I’d be willing to give it a shot.  The only (minor) problem might be the Polish cuisine;  I’ve eaten more than a few Polish dishes in and around Chicago and Milwaukee in places where I was the only customer not speaking Polish, and on the whole I found the food to be bland and kinda tasteless.  And I don’t care much for pirogi…

Netherlands — I’ve been there a couple of times, and I’m pretty sure I could fit in there.  I found the Dutch to be warm and friendly people — in the cities, anyway — and while parts of their culture jar me a bit, they are cosmopolitan enough to where I could adapt quite easily.  The cuisine is likewise quite cosmopolitan and if I wanted, I could always get something familiar — possibly the only advantage to having grown up Afrikaans is the Dutch-like food I had as a kid.  (Pannekoek, yum frigging yum.)

Belgium — just not in Brussels, which I hated.  I could handle Flemish without too much problem — it’s reasonably close to Afrikaans, actually — and the food is lovely.  I know someone who moved from South Africa to Antwerp, and she and her husband fitted in without any trouble whatsoever.

In passing:  one thing I have learned is that Chile, Czechia, Belgium and Poland all have pretty reasonable attitudes towards personal gun ownership;  the Dutch rather less so.

Missing from the above list is Argentina, perhaps because not that many people have moved there and the sample was too thin, but I might be persuaded to look at Buenos Aires.  At least they and the Uruguayans have the right attitude towards beef… and I’ve been ordered to put Buenos on Ye Olde Bucquette Lyste by someone who said she’d move there tomorrow if she could.

In a lot of these countries, I’d never even try to move there because one of my absolute must-haves is the ability to drink water from a tap without suffering any short- or long-term physical illness.  (Bye bye, India.)

As for pretty much all the rest:  pass*.


*Some people might be wondering why I no longer wish to live in Britishland, but the reason is simple:  the cities and larger towns are too crime-ridden, and in the country a newcomer mostly faces at best indifference and often withering xenophobia.  Maybe I might be persuaded to try a few places in the UK, but overall the quality of life Over There is no longer as attractive as it once was, despite sausage rolls and Wadworth 6X.  Of course, I have several friends in England, which might make it easier to settle in;  but all in all, that’s not enough to sway the argument.  (Sorry, Sorensons and The Englishman.)  I should also point out that I have somewhat fewer friends in Britishland than I once did, because quite a number have moved abroad and have no intention of ever coming back.  In fact, there is a far greater chance of several more coming Over Here to live with me… because they absolutely hate what Britain has become (neo-fascist).  And I’m pretty sure that my ummm speech would not be to the liking of the fuzz.

*Also, France.  There are parts where I could settle in quite easily from a cultural perspective, but let me tell you, the Frogs are not that friendly towards strangers.  Some expats have lucked out in this regard, but it’s not the way to bet — hell, I’d be speaking French fluently within a month or so, and still I’d struggle.  And like with the Brits, French TV really sucks.  And Man shall not live by French bread and cheese alone, although I’d give it a college try.

And you all know how I feel about Strylia.

Garbage Collection

For a bunch of supposed scientists, these tits seem to be remarkably unworldly [sic]:

Earth’s orbit is filling up with junk. Greenhouse gases are making the problem worse.
By the end of the century, a shrinking atmosphere could create a minefield for satellites.

I’m going to ignore the “greenhouse gases” bit because I have an abiding suspicion of headlines which require that we stop buying SUVs and generating electricity.

I’ll buy the first part, though, because that’s actual scientific observation.

Now I’m not a scientist, make no claims to be one, and I’m certainly no astrophysicist.  But I am a capitalist, and it seems to me that the solution is not to turn off all lightbulbs on Earth, but to let the market take care of the junk problem, by simply collecting it and disposing of it as we do with all our other household junk.

Here’s my suggestion:  have ol’ Elon Musk design a giant Shop-Vac that can be mounted on one of his rockets, and launch it into space to collect debris.  Then, when the receptacle is full, launch the craft into the general direction of the Sun for eventual incineration.  This action could be repeated with more Junk-X spacecraft until our atmosphere is neat and tidy again.

Now this job and technology wouldn’t be cheap, and SpaceX would need to be paid (because Elon may sometimes be a philanthropist, but he’s not a complete sucker either).  But paid by whom?

Well, considering that this would benefit mankind in general, it should not be funded by any single country — yeah, ten guesses which country would be expected to fund it — but by all nations on Earth.

Is there a global organization which should sponsor SpaceX to complete this function? Uh, lemme think… oh yeah, how about this lot?

You might think that the U.N. doesn’t have the funds to pay SpaceX, but I’ll be that if their budget was scrutinized, there’d be a whole bunch of inefficiencies and waste which could be re-purposed towards so noble an objective.

And in a Great Circle Of Life manifestation, I bet that Elon’s DOGE whizzkids could find the dollars in about a couple of days, if they could be let loose on the United Nations’ budget…