Author: Kim du Toit

News Roundup

Bad News

And speaking of partying:


...given the condition of the average boy’s bedroom, no wonder she got sent to jail, endangering their health like that.


...if you’re going to sell cut-price airfares and super-cheap beer, can a horde of drunken Brits be far behind?

In the No Shit, Sherlock department:


...you don’t say.  Next experiment: to  prove that water is wet.

More news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:


…

In Political News:


...and rightly so.

And even better:


…

Just don’t stop with Education, okay? [produces long list of candidates]  Or else call ol’ Javier Milei in Argentina for his list. 


...if by some magic every Trump ballot vote in Texas were to disappear into thin air, she’d still only come in fourth.  And “Beto”?  Who he?


...I’m just surprised that this happened where it did.  Keyword:  NYfC.

From the Police Blotter:


...what’s amazing about this was how long it took her to get caught.  Keyword:  Illinois.


...okay, you can stop that derisive laughter now.  Just so you have some left for this one:


...keyword:  Thailand.

We interrupt this news for an editorial comment:

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?

To continue:

In the Dept. of Education:


...let’s hear it from the Teachers Union.  What, nothing?

And in no-link 

 


...it’s just been way too long since we featured Salma on these pages, so here we are:

  ...I’ll say they are.

And that’s all the globular news we’re going to look at.

And They Want To CURE This?

Health

Now I’ve heard everything.

Sexsomnia is a condition that causes people to engage in sexual activity while their brains are technically asleep. This can include masturbation, groping, sexual vocalisation and attempts to initiate sex with a partner.

Although sexsomnia is an uncommon condition, it’s unclear how many people suffer from the sleep disorder. It is believed to affect three times more men than women  [I bet it does  — K], however many people are unaware they suffer from the disorder; while others are ashamed to admit they have it.

Studies estimate that roughly seven percent of the global population experience it at least once, and many typically cannot remember what they did in deep sleep and many are ashamed of it.

Ashamed?  Of an involuntary condition?  What is the matter with these people?

Let’s be honest, here.  “…roughly seven percent of the global population experience it at least once”, and let us assume, as with most distribution studies of this type, that in a subset of that 7%, a vast number of these incidences are around the “once” frequency.

Which, in a global population of (say) 5 billion adults is about as close to zero as makes no difference.

In other words:  it ain’t gonna happen to you.

And if it does, if you’re in bed with (say) Paige Spirinac or Salma Hayek as opposed to Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi (sorry), it’s more of a blessing than a curse.  Or with your wife or girlfriend, or any woman who, on experiencing these nocturnal gropings, is not going to accuse you of rape (for, lest we forget, an involuntary/unconscious act).

I leave it to my individual Lady Readers as to their response to this hypothetical situation — knowing some of them as I do, my guess is that they will greet excuses of “But it’s my sexsomnia!”  with scorn if not actual violence, bless ’em.

Or they’ll get into the spirit of the thing and joyfully participate.  [checks for pigs flying past the window]

The only reservation I have is with the research methodology.  No way has this been observed, so to speak, in a controlled laboratory setting;  rather, of course, it depends on respondents’ experiences and memories — and when it comes to les questions sexuelle, most people lie like Clintons.

So ignore all the above;  and if you do suffer from sexsomnia, relax and enjoy your problem.

Synchronicity

Military

…or what we Olde Pharttes used to call “coincidence”*.

Last week I posted a query from a Reader (read it here) about relocating a grandson, and there were a number of comments from other Readers on the topic.

So later in the week, I found this little snippet (via Kenny):


Only 37% of respondents would encourage their family to serve in the military, while 63% would not, according to the poll. Several branches of the military have been plagued with recruiting and retention problems in recent years as the Pentagon continues to look for solutions.

Of those who would not encourage their family members to join the military, 57% said they felt that way because it is “too dangerous,” according to the poll. Approximately 45% cited the “failed wars in Iraq and Afghanistan” as the reason not to join.

Funny thing, that.  I always thought that joining the military would entail some kind of physical risk, but that probably just shows how out of touch I am with the modern world.

*I know there’s a substantial conceptual difference between synchronicity and coincidence.