Category: Bad News

Let’s start off with something from the Department of Losers:

...missed seeing him again by thismuch.
#NotNewsJustFunny

...what’s that, Lassie?  Hoofbeats from four horses?  I hear them too.

...quelle horreur.

...quick, sue the mill that made the steel for the gun maker.

...Britcops:  “We would, but then we’d be in more trouble than you are.”

...sadly, no pics of said accident.

Moving away from industrial-grade losers, we go to the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

...eh, boys will be boys. [/Eytie cops]

From the Gummint Gazette:

...always wondered why you’d need a college degree just to be rude to customers at the DMV.

...I actually first read that as “House Republicans Shoot Senators”.  Imagine my disappointment at the second reading.

...Das Kapital, p.276.  His idol V.I. Lenin would be so proud of him.

...for “Americans” read “Journalists”.

And just to show that gummint isn’t the only entity capable of complete idiocy, there’s this:

...just another model to sit, forlorn and unwanted, on some dealer’s lot.

And in Evil Satan News:

...we know.  I mean, Nancy Pelosi is still in Congress, and FJ Biden is still in the White House. And don’t get me started on the FBI and DHS...

And your pre-weekend 

And in SHOWBIZ NEWS:

...never watched the show either, but here’s an FYI so everyone else can keep up to date:

And that’s what passes for news.

Speaking of pigs:

…

...whereupon mobs of angry citizens start hanging and shooting the illegals — oh wait, this is NYFC, nothing happened afterwards.  Never mind, carry on.

...oy, the insufferable little bitch is going to be impossible now.

From the Pulpit Chronicles:

...now if they’d sung folk songs, there’d be executions.

Time for some International Relations:

...are you sure it’s not angry parents or Catholics, you asshole government thugs?

...gosh, now I wonder which ethnic group they’re talking to, specifically?
#Somalis

In Election News:

...I just want the ATF gig, and I’m not a Senator.

...as US Democrat Socialists take notes for their own October 2024 arrangements.

...oh well, as long as they didn’t waste it.  Useless asswipes.

...I guess Katie Hopkins was already booked elsewhere, otherwise why get the “40-day wonder” (who is Conservative but NOT conservative) to speak?

In Marketing News:

...Marketing Rule #1:  always establish your customer base numbers before starting your business.  Even if it’s a religion.

...I’m confused:  satisfaction 20 minutes after ordering, or 20 minutes after the product is delivered?

...and in related news, the Clintons pre-announce that they have an alibi for when she has her unfortunate accident or commits “suicide”.

And in the newly-labeled 

     

 

And in more ShowBiz News:

...LOL “confirms” — like she could deny it:

And to get that horrible visual banished from your brain:

There ya go… and that’s the news.

So let’s look at some dirty news.

...keywords:  Washington D.C.

...and of course the teacher “escaped prison”, because female.

...so the little Jock lesbian got at least one thing right… in ten years.

...while millions of starving African villagers could only wish for such a feast.
#TheyStartedTheWar

...so basically, she’s admitting that we’ve already lost our democracy?

...I dunno;  after centuries of neutrality, they have to be out of practice at this “war” thing.

...no, I didn’t get that backwards.  Relax, Jake;  it’s Seattle.

...and no, that’s not a typo.  He failed his examinations, because apparently you’re only allowed to rape elderly patients when not wearing uniform.

...keyword:  Canada.  (Although it’s probably even worse for U.S. college students.)

...because he hasn’t even started menstruating yet.

And as for INSIGNIFICA:

   

...I know, I know:

Well, at least she’s honest.  Unlike all the politicians in the news.

And in other “Men Are Pigs!” news:

...am I the only one who doesn’t care about any of this?

...begging the question(s):  1) why should anyone care about your “problem”;  and 2) how, exactly, do you suggest this change be effected?

In Legal News:

...little late for that, innit?  Should have whacked his pee-pee within 24 hours of the order.

...I would have thought that instant coffee was sufficiently poisonous per se, but I guess not.

In Election News:

...what’s that you smell, Lassie?  A rat?
#MeToo

In Immigration News:

...and in other news, Gen. Custer is having trouble with the Sioux.

...yeah, I bet they’ll just line up for that one.

...here’s the deal:  1) close the border completely, and 2) begin the mass deportations.  Anything else is unacceptable bullshit.

From the Dept. of Education:

...only thing newsworthy about this one is that he’s a White boy, and not Chinese or  Asian-Indian.

In Religious News:

...keyword:  yup, South Africa.

...and you thought it was just the fish-eaters, didn’t you?

From the front lines of SEX WARS:

...and she looks about what you’d expect her to look like:  a houri.

In more INSIGNIFICA:

      

Finally:

It’s now on sale!

(link is embedded in pic)

Don’t say I never do anything for you… and that’s the news.