Category: Bad News

Could the news possibly be any worse, I ask?  I report;  you decide.

...given some of the rulings I’ve seen recently, I think they’ve been doing that for years.  Key word:  Britishland.  Also, see next item:

...’nuff said.

From the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© News:

...subject to the delays caused by the usual EPA “checks”, by which time everyone in the state will have died of cold already.  And:  Illinois?

In Business Medicine News:

...more like YAY! YAY! YAY!  but whatever.

From the Department of Corrections:

...giving a whole new meaning to the term “prison screw”.

...must have found Epstein’s client list.  Also:

And in the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

…

...just execute the little bitch and make her a martyr for Allah.

And speaking of martyrs:

...I guess Jahweh is mightier than Allah?  We atheists get confused.

In Lawn Order News:

...as well they should.  But I was told there would be landmines...

...key word:  Oregon.

...better late than never.  Keyword:  Scotland.

And in Election News:

...and pretty much every year.  Key name:  Wrong Way McDaniel.

In other Entertainment News:

...faked it that long, eh?  Good practice for when you’re married.

...we all knew that, hun.

In the blessedly-link-free INSIGNIFICA:

      

...okay, I’ve always had the hots for this little ginger shrimp, even though a) Australian and b) terrible taste in husbands.

And that’s all the news fit to worry about.

(Ad may have been slightly edited to bring it up to date, because nobody wants a Buick anymore…)

Some news you may not have been aware of:

...not to mention that 75,000-mile “new battery” cost.

...wait, what?

...okay, that’s more like it.

From the Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© Dept.:

...you know, there are times when I think we can learn a lot from the French.

In Entertainment News:

...007(a) and 007(b)?

From the Glueball Jewhate News Desk:

...but if I were to do the same outside some mosque shouting “Drown Gaza City!” the response would be a lot swifter, and more severe.

And a “new” development in the Great Cultural Assimilation Program:

...no doubt, on his third or fourth illegal entry into the U.S. via our “secure” border.

In Election News:

...”and that’s only if she campaigns topless from now on”.

And in International News:

...”because we terrorists have to stick together, right?”

In Animal News:

...is it too much to hope that it was a Birkenstock?

And in INSIGNIFICA:

    ...the ducal dildo?
 

…

Finally, in somewhat-more-palatable Showbiz News:

...just so you all know what the poor man had to deal with, here she is:

Looking a little more perverse, so to speak:

And still not bad, even though a (fake) blonde:

The line to be her next co-star forms over here, behind me.

…and on we go with Pre-Christmas News:

...we’re never going to get rid of this asshole organization unless we go all Timmy McVeigh on them.  Thank you, Harry Truman.

...yeah, I remember back in the day that when (White) people said that about your lot, it was a Bad Thing.

...I don’t know who to shoot first:  the council, or the neighbor who bought a house next door to a chicken farm.

…

In Media News:

…

Great Moments In Marketing:

...kills cancer, makes you horny;  sounds perfect.  Now about that name… someone call Adrian Wappkaplett.

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

...let’s hear it for liberal immigration policies.

…

And speaking of undocumented immigrants:

...hell, maybe they just looked like aliens:

And in Presidential Idiocy News:

...considering that the shooter was 67 years old, I’m surprised he’s not pushing a “No One Under 70” gun ban.  And:

...I know it may be a stupid question at this point, but can anyone point me to the part in the Constitution where it says the president can do this?

And now, some serious INSIGNIFICA:

...I always thought she was the prettiest of the 60s crowd:

 

And from my private “Roll In The Hay” collection:

And on that agricultural note, it’s time to sign off.  Wait, there’s one more thing:

Read more

And what better target for your new Remington than:

...do I hear an “Amen”?

Still on the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© front:

...wait, what?  You mean we’ve been lied to all this time?

And in the Great Cultural Assimilation News:

...after all, it’s an acceptable dating tactic back home.

...”Lemme at that infidel poontang!”

In Glueball Jihate News:

...one hopes that this activity catches on and becomes a worldwide trend.

...using gravity and natural resources to solve a problem;  what’s not to like?

In Travel News:

...considering that I wouldn’t live in any of them for free, this is no big deal.

...but over half of all Frenchmen just shrugged when Putin invaded Ukraine.  That karma thing again...

...but as I recall, the guy who originated the crown thing didn’t get paid millions for his gig.

In INSIGNIFICA:

. ...Captain Obvious strikes again!

...yeah, whatever.  Here’s a retrospective of Miss Crazier-Than-A-Sackful-Of-Angry-Cats:

And my favorite pic of her, for all sorts of reasons:

And that’s the news, gawd help us.

Let’s dive right in.

...only one?

...do they mean meat like this? 
...short answer:  no.  Longer answer:  fuck off and die.  And speaking of nanny busybodies:

...go fuck yourselves, you foul fascists.

...you helped create this movement;  you deal with it, asshole.

From the Dept. of Health:

...keyword:  Brazil.

...note the plural “hospitals“.

...coming from the same crowd who said that unless everybody donned these face condoms, everyone was gonna die.

From the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:

...should be 700,000 but we’ll take what we can get.

And in related news:

...lemme see here:  percentage of NYC seniors who vote Democrat:  100%. 
Ergo:

And speaking of seniors:

...well, that’s one way of putting it.  (No link because paywall)

...all part of the “boys will be boys” policy in… wait, Memphis?

...which just shows that we need commonsense lawnmower control, and that avocados are not that healthy.  Also, keyword:  Australia (?).

Some Animal News:

...keyword:  yup, Australia.

And the most INSIGNIFICA ever:

  

...okay, that’s what I want at my funeral.

Finally, in ShowBiz News:

...yeah, whatever.  Let’s just look at her legs awhile:

Enough?  No?  Okay, then:

I’ll stop here, or else we could be doing this all day.