

And boy, are you ever going to need one of the above to read what follows below…
From the Dept. of Education:

...”scholars”? People with degrees in “_____ Studies”? Ah don’ theenk so, Boss.

...wait: the Austros have over-45-year-olds in schools now?
And further silliness in Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:

...weaselkeywords: “could” and “up to”. Substitute “won’t” and “anything like” to the above.
From the Dept. of Civil Defense:

...here in north Texas, there’s a word for people like this: neighbor.
In International War News:
...and even from the grave, Henry gets a Schadenböner:


... instead of sending them to Ukraine, we’re using missiles on asshole Muzzy terrorists, oh yes. However:

...because repeating the same failed activity over and over always works in the end.
#TypicalSocialistPolicy
And in a different kind of war:

...and then euthanized like unwanted animals? Oh please make it so.
Speaking of animals that need euthanizing:

...in which we play the “Guess The Race” game. Clue: her name is “Shacoria”.

...she sounds nice. The story is just wonderful.

...branding? Too harsh, you say?

...headline may have been edited slightly, to reflect reality.
And in further INSIGNIFICA:


...of course you did, my darlin’.
Finally, in ShowBiz News:

...sex every night and three times a day over weekends? That’s what I’d do, anyway.


…most children don’t look like what they become,really:

But if I can venture a guess, it’s not the face that gets people’s attention anyway:



And with that, we’ve reached the backside of the news.