Category: Bad News

So let’s get to work, then:

...but-but-but I was reliably informed that Trump’s election would cause an economic collapse.

Let’s have a little MAGA News, but first, a summary:

And some details:

...OUR new Attorney General.

...and it’s long overdue.

...what, no prison sentences?  <pout>

...hur hur hur… he said “pulling out”.

...me too, Stephen.  Oh good grief…

To continue:

In The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...fucking hell, they needed a “report” to tell them that?  Never mind, I’m sure their “plan” will be put into effect by 2040 at the latest.

...so you admit you’d be breaking the law by employing illegal immigrants, then?  Noted.

In the annals of Stupid Superstitions:

...and in other news, the people who read chicken entrails decide that we’re going to have rain sometime in April.

In Medical News:

...hell, I know several women who act like they are.  Also:

…it’s just a good thing that she isn’t allergic to her orgasms.

In the Hearts Of Stone Dept.:

…

From the files of Lawn Order:

...that’s sticking it to the Man, you betcha.  No stupid cop is going to tell him how to drive.

...errrr I think you’ll find that’s illegal, you asshole.  Keyword:  Dallas.

And in our sex-drenched 

As we set off down :

...as we take another look at out favorite Nigora, first with the old man:

...and then, flying solo:

And at another address on the same street:

...okay, she’s way too emaciated for me, but for those who like the Bony Type:

...and I have to admit, she’s not bad for 53.

Finally, speaking of today’s sponsor:

And that’s the news, all geared up for the week.

You’ll need a martini too, after reading this lot.

...hey, they’ll try anything to get Angela Merkel to commit suicide.

In Billionaire Tech Wizard News:

...what bullshit.  a.) he’s trying to get sympathy from Lefties for palling up with DJT, or b.) he’s just another delusional Lefty like Whoopi Goldberg.  (I know:  embrace the power of “and”.)  Although maybe this had something to do with it:

...it should have been $25 billion, which may have made the androgynous little asshole take notice.

...says the guy who wants to coerce the whole world into being injected with experimental vaccines, and who’s wasted billions on trying to eliminate Third World hunger.

And speaking of insane shit:

...have they not yet realized that the world has changed since November 2024 and this bullshit ain’t gonna fly?  On the other hand, keyword:  Pennsylvania.

Speaking of a changing world:

...you don’t say.

...in the list of Things To Worry About, this probably ranks well below “millions of badgers raining from the skies”.

From the Dept. of Education:

...or does this just mean that minorities aren’t such good students, have lower graduation rates and therefore need disproportionate assistance to compete with Whitey?  Discuss.

...thus joining all the other universities in the world.

...only one hundred?  Talk about under-achievers.

...should have kept it to a carefully-vetted dozen.  But, Floriduh.

And of all those things we call 

...and the happy couple looks kinda like you’d think they would:

And as we drive down :

...and she’s using pictures rather than text to get her message across:

And that’s all the news under the sun.

You’re going to need all that beer to sustain you during this rather lengthy roundup.

...that thumping sound you hear is that of thousands of DEI .dotmil hearts beating faster.  Oh, and fuck you, Mitch McConnell.

And also:

...oh yeah, baby.

...just not enough, methinks.

...oh STFU, you pathetic socialist twerp, and stick to extorting money from car traffic.

...but the Lord Mayor is more concerned with Trump Fascism.

...of course they would.  Nobody cares.

...not exactly yer diplomatic language — which is why I like it.

...should have been demoted to a clerical position in their Duluth office, but nemmind.

...just remember this statement, Turban Durbin, when conservatives start to defy your side’s EOs.

…

And speaking of those assholes:

...we should just change the name of that shithole to “Pedophilia” and have done with it.

...in the reign of World-Emperor Kim, these assholes would additionally be subjected to daily ten-minute beatings, with hammers, for the duration of their sentence.

...ordinarily, I’m not a supporter of increased Gummint powers, but in this case I’ll make an exception.

...because the shooter was Black and his victim White, we’ll read no more about it.
#JournalistScum

...oh dear.  That NetZero thing is really proving to be problematic, isn’t it?

And to emphasize the point:

...but only when said infrastructure  is being funded by the UKGov.  Otherwise, it’s fine.

And speaking of Commie fuckwits:

...and this Commie bint is doing her part to boost the UK’s economy by increasing taxes and confiscating inheritances.

So let’s just look at how Britishland’s venture into the world of Communist economics is going:

...and the next “unexpected! consequence”:

...so all is proceeding according to plan, then?

...keywords:  pension tax raids.

And in our weekly record of 

...well, that would stop anyone, really.

...forget it, Jake, it’s Britishland.  Not gonna happen, no matter how many children are slaughtered.

Finally, in our weekly saunter down :

...not too bad for 53:

And a few earlier pics:

I think that’s rounded off the news nicely, don’t you think?

Okay, let’s start off with

...these panicky items always assume that the U.S. isn’t preparing exactly the same thing to use against anyone who tries.  I just hope we are...

...but but but EEEEVIL GUNS!!!! 

And there are always the non-sequiturs:

...can they be any more stupid?  And speaking of morons:

...I’m sure he has all the data to support this claim… he doesn’t?  Oh well, then, just Jeffries being Jeffries, i.e being a total moron.

...they should be caught and made to drink it.

...maybe they should all just convert to Islam.  What the hell:  these kids seem to be refusing to do anything… like work, for instance. 

From The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...one simple question for Hizzoner:  is rape against the law in these assholes’ home countries?  It is?  Then throw their asses in jail.

From the Department of Health:

…and just to show it can happen anywhere:

…

In Economic Emigration News:

...gosh, and all the BritGov did was increase their taxes and tank the economy.

...I wonder why that is.  Could it be because it’s all a load of bullshit and we can’t afford it?

...keyword:  Australia.  For the mathematically-challenged, that’s an average of about 8 per night, every night of the year.  Uh huh, sure.

And from the Department of Education:

...flogging for teacher?  I’m open to suggestions.

...doesn’t tell us much;  all fast food chains are better than McDonald’s.

And one more time from

...given that it’s the Diet Woke corporation, he may want to hire a taster first.

...did I already say how much I love EytiePM Giorgia Meloni?

And in our journey along :

...for some reason, the picture of Miss Nancy getting  going off gives me a tingling.  Why?

And that’s the news, all rounded out  up.

And what a good way to run into The Trump Years, Part II:

...[pro tip] the bomber’s name can probably be found in the FBI’s D.C. office phone directory.

...to you maybe, yer Holeyness;  just not to 95% of the country outside your diocese.

...buh bye, fuckwit.
Or, to put it more eloquently:

...ummm you lost me at the first three words.

...and I’m sure that Elon is just quaking in his boots.

...bubonic plague has a higher favorable rating than Disney.

...I’m sure his girlfriend was mightily impressed.
#ThirdWorld

...you mean just like it did during Trump 1.0?
#NoSurpriseThere

...’nuff said.

...did they just call Wales a nation of faggots?

…

...that’s a Guinness drought — which I think is actually against Irish law.

...and have waved away all rescue attempts because Britain.

...next thing, all men will have to have a sign tattooed on their dicks which reads:  “Joy juice may contain nut residue”

And in the most categorically link-free 

 

...dude may be overconfident, here;  she’s probably planning a breakup album about him as we speak.

From Reader GMC70, in Comments:  “Frankly, Kim, I’m a bit surprised you haven’t discovered Kate Upton.”
...you mean, this Kate Upton?

 

Well, consider me duly chastised.

And that’s the end of this boobs news roundup.