Category: Bad News

And on the topic of Ford Motor Company:

...this would be like getting upset over pink AR-15s.  If FoMoCo wants to target fegelehs for their F-150s, let them.

And still on the Gayness Chronicles:

...the more I read about the EyetiePM, the larger my crush becomes.

And now for some voting “irregularities”:

...”human”, yes;  “error” — I don’ theenk so, Miguel.

And speaking of criminals:

...but they’re promising to do better in future.

...may as well read about it here, because you damn sure won’t see it on TV or in the New York fucking Times.

...in the old days, a vibrator used to be enough;  now you have to take out its batteries and attach crocodile clips too?

...none of us do, buddy.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept.:

...seems to have been a lot of this going on recently.  Me, I have my own anti-pit bull defense.  No prizes for guessing what it is.

...even back then, I had little interest in seeing her below-average boobs and well-trodden hairy vag.  Now?  Some idiot’s going to pay a quarter-mil… it is, as they say, to laugh.

...didn’t believe it at the time, still less now.  Besides:

...which says it all, really.

...the nice thing about the BritRoyal Family is that they don’t really care what we think about them, and we don’t care about them, period.

And in further INSIGNIFICA:

...dunno who she is either.  But to help you identify her should she get anywhere near you:

And that’s all the news worth spreading.

And speaking of things that can drive you to drink:

...but wait!  There’s hope:

...attaboy.  I note, by the way, that any money left over after he pays the sharks will be given to some charity.  NO.  Give it to Daniel Penny, for the income he lost while imprisoned.

In Euroland:

...took you Bohunks a while to realize that, dinnit?

...Italians sure are wussies.  No wonder they lost WWII.

Back home:

...maybe in Vegas, that would.

...“possible”?  Bitch orchestrated the whole fucking thing, IMO.

But in Global Cooling Climate Warming Change country:

...like my car gets great gas mileage because I never drive it.

...must be playing them Joe Biden press conference videos.  Oh wait, that would be the Howls Of Laughter lesson.

And speaking of cartoon characters:

…wait, you mean that all this time, this was… Reggie?

More Queer News:

...forget it, Jake:  it’s Los Angeles.

...your trusty Mossberg, some birdshot, a comfortable chair… oh wait, it’s Britishland.  Nemmind.

...abandon hope all ye who follow that link.

And in further INSIGNIFICA:
 

Finally, in more Geriatric Sex News:

...seriously?  I mean, for a really old broad, she’s… okay, I guess.  I report, you decide:

Still wouldn’t.

And that’s all the news that’s… fit.

 

From the Dept. of Lost Causes:

...irrelevant AND stupid is no way to go through life, son.  And speaking of a hopeless cause:

...and I urge our TexGov to permit the shooting of illegals as they’re crossing the Rio Grande.  Mine has a better chance of success.

Some good news, for a change:

...keep ’em coming (or rather, going), Izzies.

...keep ’em going, Gov.

...I thought Mayor Betelgeuse had been voted out of office already — oh wait, that was until yesterday.  But this is worse — a LOT worse:

...”A grateful nation says thank you for your service — now fuck off and live on the streets.”

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:

...so basically, all Britishland’s feeble attempts to cut back cow farts have been just a waste of time, then?

Some Showbiz News:

...ummm let’s see:  Elizabeth’s age at her coronation:  25.  Charles’s age at his:  75.  I’m frankly surprised the old boy stayed awake through the whole thing.

...fair enough, as long as you fegelehs are also banned from playing straight characters.

...that’s okay;  I have an emotional support 1911 handgun that I carry whenever I leave the house, too.

…to whit:

…which leads us automatically into other INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and the last two items segue neatly back to today’s sponsor:

...that’s okay, my darlin’:  you keep showing ’em, and we’ll keep looking.

…and that’s a fine way to end all the news that’s fit to uncover.

And while we’re there:

...of course, she’s not really that ignorant — she’s just pushing the Party line.  However:

...if A.I. is really that bad, we are truly fucked.

...I guess that “learn to code” advice wasn’t that good after all.

...errrr a little late for that now, innit?

...illustrated with a pic of a WHITE nurse?  LOL

...doesn’t matter.  Even if you’re caught driving without one, nothing happens to you.  Sorta like shoplifting in San Francisco. [/Third World]

...sheesh, when you’ve lost even the gayboys, can ruin be far behind? Oh wait:

...how do you boycott something that’s already being boycotted?  Is it a double-plus boycott?

Another report from Queer Wars:

...when asked to comment, Chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood both said:  “Huh.”

...even without walking backwards, I should have the best memory in the Western world, if that’s what it takes.

...yup, always protect the identity of the rape victim.

And now is MOAR INSIGNIFICA:

  

...wait:  women have orgasms?  They’ll be wanting the vote, next.

And finally, in Sporting News:

…which will please Napoli’s number one fan, sportscaster Floriana Messina.  Who she?

No wonder they won.

And that’s it for the news.

In other Marketing News:

...first principle of marketing:  if you want people to buy something, tell them they can’t have it.  Known by everyone except politicians and Harvard MBAs.

...following the second principle of marketing:  when you’ve fucked up horribly, bribe your way out of the problem.  Even politicians know this one — they invented it.

From the Dept. of Global Cooling Climate Warming Change:

...New York being well known for its warm, temperate winters and abundant electrical supply.

...back in a moment:  I’m just going to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face.

From the Dept. of Nutrition & Health:

…

...thus preempting Mickey D’s new “Mouseburger” menu item.

From the Dept. of Education:

   …same guy:
  …and related:

...what’s the French for “multi-tasking”?

News in general:

...begging the question:  if there’s no physical strength component, only intellect, then why do Women’s Poker tournaments even exist?

...some scumbag gangbanger, no doubt.  Also:  ask me again why I carry a gun every time I leave the house, when this latest shooting happened in the next town over.

...he could have just shot the beast… oh wait:  Britishland.  Nemmind.

And in INSIGNIFICA:

 

… ...and Austin Powers was unavailable for comment.

Finally:

...who she, you ask?

…and that’s all the news we can sea today.