Category: Bad News

Speaking of fun stuff:

…

And speaking of sick, here’s Crime News:

...”could be executed”?  Volunteers to throw the switch, the line forms behind me.  And quit that pushing and shoving.

And Crime News (Krautland Department):

...of course, if Germany were to reinstate the death penalty for such crimes, that would solve the problem one way or the other, yes?

...yeah, that’ll work.  They’ll just come back as Ukrainian refugees, or something.  And then the Krauts wonder why this is happening:

...”hard right”?  LOL I know some ol’ boys in Arizona and Louisiana — to mention just two — who’d make these AfD guys look like little girls.   But anyway… it looks like that has happened.

In other Furrin News:

...and after the drone strikes are completed and the dust has settled, we need to ask what the hell  US servicemen are doing in Turkey in the first place.

...”Husband Of The Year” candidate.  Keyword:  France.

...I thought this only happened in shitholes like Russia or California.

In further Election News:

...I think that mentioning George Washington and Joe Biden in the same sentence should be a misdemeanor, unless we’re making a “Best” and “Absolute Worst” comparison.

In Sporting News:

...number of people who actually care about this:  0

And it’s time for link-free 

 

…

And while sauntering down

...Nicole honey, methinks that ship sailed a long time ago.  I mean, wasn’t this also you?

Just wait till your kids are old enough to watch your movies… now that’s going to be embarrassing.

And so we come to the end of the Redhead Roundup.

So let’s look at some (mostly) non-fake news.

...just exposing another one of her many lies — the bitch has always been of the “no borders” persuasion.  Also see:

...just doing her best to keep up with her VP’s record of lies about his background.
#LikeJohnFuckfaceKerry

In Business News:

...this would have sounded so much better if IBM were moving all their R&D back to the United States, but IBM ceased to be an actual American company way back in the 1990s.

And would it be a week without some We’re All Gonna DIIIEEEE! news?

...quick, impose a lockdown!
#NazzoFastGuido

Some Sports News:

…that’s because he may be a professional racer, but he’s clearly an amateur drinker.

In Military News:

...nothing about the Army has looked good since Desert Storm ended and DEI/LGBTOSHTFU was installed.
#HangMarkMilley

This just in from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...it’s “California-In-The-Rockies”;  what else did you expect?

...wait:  the FBI did some actual law enforcement?
#SarahsShockedFace

And in the continuous fake news a.k.a. Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©:

…

In the Commercial News Dept.:

...sorry, sweetie;  I know you’re just doing it for the $$$, but no way no how no chance not ever will I buy anything from that bunch of San Francisco anti-gun Commie assholes.

And speaking of giant dicks, we have in Medical News:

...one of the perils of your wife being gluten-intolerant?  Keyword:  Lebanon.

And after that snippet, the usual collection of 

  ...lemme guess: “Forgive and forget”?

...people who have no lives of their own.

...nope, I have no idea who she is either, but that’s never stopped me before:

And that’s the rear end of the news.

Might as well have a beer (or six), as we contemplate some Election News:

...more like a Reagan-versus-Mondale outcome, but then again, the Democrats didn’t try to imprison Reagan or rely on massive voting fraud schemes back then;  they hadn’t gone Full Stalin yet.

...wait till ol’ Mark hears about FDR’s death.

...and not a moment too soon, either.

...of course not;  why should they address the area most likely to be used fraudulently?

In Military News:

...gee, I wonder if that just might be because men don’t want to join the Navy and see the Woke?  And some even better news (for China):

...well, isn’t that special?

And news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...like we would have expected anyone else.

...proving that immigration idiocy isn’t confined to just the Euros.

And just to the north of them:

...isn’t there a law against this kind of thing?  Or should New Wife apply, seeing as she’s not (yet) a citizen?  (Of course, that means I would have to live in the People’s Soviet of Oregon… so nemmind.)

But wait!  From Britishland:

...too bad that realization has come too late, innit?

In local Lawn Ordure news:

...keyword:  Floriduh.

And in our peek into other  

 

...actually, what you really need to do is change your partner, because that lil’ thang is gonna be worn out.

...ah yes, Liz… how could we ever forget her?

And on that pink note, we end this look at the news.

So from a nostalgic look back at the past, we return (very unwillingly) to the bullshit of today:

...I would suggest one-way tickets to Palestine (specifically Gaza) for all the above, but no doubt I would be labeled Krool & Hartless.  And speaking of those Muslim assholes:

...and you can quit that unseemly sniggering now.

From Airstrip One:

...like all socialist/Communist governments, they are happiest when persecuting their own citizens.

...as if persecuting the “Right-wing thugs” wasn’t enough, now they’ll jail you for calling some termagant bitch a cunt.

On a lighter note:

...couldn’t find any virgins, huh?

And in Parish News:

...hardly surprising, considering that the DNC are a bunch of godless assholes.

In Automotive News:

…

And in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...and of course, he’ll no doubt be released again so he can ummmm post hateful messages on Facebook.  That’ll settle his hash.

...he’s not going to be deported or jailed, either.  You heard it here first.

In Travel News:

...and in other news, water is wet, Custer didn’t make it out alive, sharks are dangerous, etc.

And in Nature News:

...with a very simple solution:

And it’s time for some silly 

 

And as we stroll down  :

...welcome back, me old darling;  it’s been far too long since we saw you last.  And by the way, “balloons” isn’t too bad a nickname for you.

And on that bouncy note, we end the news roundup.

And speaking of partying:

...given the condition of the average boy’s bedroom, no wonder she got sent to jail, endangering their health like that.

...if you’re going to sell cut-price airfares and super-cheap beer, can a horde of drunken Brits be far behind?

In the No Shit, Sherlock department:

...you don’t say.  Next experiment: to  prove that water is wet.

More news from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

…

In Political News:

...and rightly so.

And even better:

…

Just don’t stop with Education, okay? [produces long list of candidates]  Or else call ol’ Javier Milei in Argentina for his list. 

...if by some magic every Trump ballot vote in Texas were to disappear into thin air, she’d still only come in fourth.  And “Beto”?  Who he?

...I’m just surprised that this happened where it did.  Keyword:  NYfC.

From the Police Blotter:

...what’s amazing about this was how long it took her to get caught.  Keyword:  Illinois.

...okay, you can stop that derisive laughter now.  Just so you have some left for this one:

...keyword:  Thailand.

We interrupt this news for an editorial comment:

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?

To continue:

In the Dept. of Education:

...let’s hear it from the Teachers Union.  What, nothing?

And in no-link 

 

...it’s just been way too long since we featured Salma on these pages, so here we are:

  ...I’ll say they are.

And that’s all the globular news we’re going to look at.