Frankly, I kinda prefer the days when most women were tranq’d up and calmer. Still:
From the Dept. Of Education:
...keyword: Wales. Frankly, I don’t see the fuss — no kids involved, just some chick who likes doing sex things with a chance of being caught in the act.
And speaking of sex things:
From the High Crimes & Misdemeanors Files:
...which it is. And on the topic of theft:
...if the LA cops aren’t going to charge goblins for theft, then citizens will just mete out their own justice.
...that’s a little ironic, seeing as it’s the Fibbies who are most likely to be doing the hacking.
And in Business News:
...Xerox could not be reached for comment.
...let me see… oh, none anywhere near Plano. Thanks for nothing, assholes.
In the very bowels of INSIGNIFICA:
...next shocker: men wank watching PornHub.
Finally, in Fashion News:
...not too surprising; a lot of men like meat on their bones. It’s only the homo fashion designers with little-boy fetishes who prefer them skeletal.
And that’s all the news that’s fat to print.