Category: Bad News

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So we can now squeeze bile out of the headlines’ teats:

…

…let’s drink a toast to Vladimir Putin, Slayer Of The Greens.

...maybe a little extreme, but this is the kind of thing that happens when you’ve ordered your cops to concentrate chasing down hateful Twatters instead of actual crimes.  Side question:  what does the make of the car have to do with anything?

...I’m assuming the coke was hers, and that’s a refund?

...and if that doesn’t bring a smile to yer face, we can’t be friends.

However:

...and if you think this has a happy ending, think again — because it didn’t happen in Texas.

...go ahead and read WHY he was sentenced to death, and you’ll agree with me that after being found guilty, he should have been taken straight out of the courthouse and shot in the back of the neck.

...if there was any real justice, California’s Department of Fair Housing and Employment should have to pay all legal costs too.

...once again, if speaking the truth is harmful, can the public hangings be far away?  And once again:  asking for a friend.

...if your Eminences think that “integration” means “reintegrating migrants back into their countries of birth”, then I’m sure Meloni will be right on it.  Especially after stuff like this:

and this:

...as the Great Societal Integration Project continues.

...blame your parents, Duchess.

...nothing baffling about it;  it’s just another way to escape boredom.

And in link-averse INSIGNIFICA:

Finally, some real news:

Kelly Brook is releasing a sizzling new calendar for 2023
...okay, it’s actually a “Greatest Hits” calendar, but that shouldn’t be a problem.  Here are some of my favorite hits of Kelly:

I could go on (and on, and on, and on), but I think you can see my point.

That’s it for the news.

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*sponsorship provided by Reader Sean F.

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So, waltzing into the news:

…actually, Americans have felt this way since Reagan beat both Carter and Mondale like an old rug, only it’s taken this long for the GOPe to realize it. Morons.

...I prefer the red, because redhead;  but honestly...

...wait, didn’t President Braindead once say that all you need is a shotgun?

...actually, not at all about Jan 6.

...duh she’s not supporting Andrew, she’s reminding everyone that she knows who all the players are.

Also:

…I can’t believe it’s not an aneurysm.

And in other Health News:

…

…you mean RUI, surely?

...which is American’s standard response to any passenger complaint.

...key word:  amazingly not Florida, but Texas.

Let me know if y’all are getting sick of Paige:

...I may have edited the headline just a trifle.

...not that it matters, as she was caught in flagrante delicto later.

And in the linkage wasteland known as INSIGNIFICA:

     

   

And finally, some real news:

…I know, y’all wanna see how she’s aged:

   

And that’s the news, bad as it is.

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And speaking of assholes:

...give it to ’em good and hard, in perpetua.  Not that I care:  I’m long gone.

...probably should have stuck to her backyard, and not taken it to the streets.

...when telling the truth is dangerous, is it time to start the hangings?  Asking for a friend.

...key phrase:  “active volcano”.

...given the generation and nationality, I’m amazed that it’s as high as 53%.

...what was the middle bit, again?

...key word:  India.

...thus devaluing their “brand”, but if they don’t care, why should I?

...but only partially so:  it’s going to be a long hard slog.

...amazingly, not in Australia.

...I think that any complaints of this nature from prisoners should be ignored, just on principle.

...which means that I’ve had long Covid for over 30 years.

...I can think of a dozen, without even trying.

...off to the 7pm shift at the docks, would be my guess.

And in link-free INSIGNIFICA:

     

And in more ShowBiz News:

...considering that it’s quite possibly the best TV show ever made (never mind just comedy), that’s not surprising.

...not that we need much excuse to look at the delectable Mariska:

And that’s it for the news;  now get on with your lives.

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More on gas, later.

...ah, lemme guess:  all in Lauren Boebert’s district?

...Texas and Arizona didn’t ask for it either;  yet here we are.

...race hustlers gotta stick together, you see.

...I’m thinking nonstop scourging until his GoFundMe raises the hundred grand.

…

...but remember: the injured have access to free healthcare.

…

...as California, New York and Illinois take note.

...yep, if there’s going to be raping, it’s better to have the official peacekeepers do it.

...LOL mediocrity would actually be an improvement.

 

And in INSIGNIFICA:

     

…your guy couldn’t wait, huh? The background story is even funnier.

Okay, I was going to post some pics of Paige Spirinac because, well, Paige Spirinac.  However, in my travels through The Intarwebz, I happened upon someone named Taylor Cusack, so in the interests of Diversiteh:

And that’s all the news from the world of golf.  But aaaaaargh wait:

...this calls for some drastic action.

etc.