Category: Bad News

(no sponsor this week, so I’ll just invent one:)

I wish.  Anyway, let’s fire away [sic] :

…a.k.a. Why Kim Left South Africa.

…ummmm… feeling a little conflicted here, Boss.

…wait, you ate street food in Bangladesh? LOLZ

And speaking of inedible food:

…excellent news because on the whole, Hershey makes the world’s worst-tasting chocolate.

From the Dept. of Unwelcome Settlers:

…welcome to our world, compadres.  Every single thing you don’t like about them, we don’t like either. 
(Signed)  Texas, Arizona, Florida, Utah, Idaho, Colorado and a couple others.

…and then the screws locked down the women’s block.  I report, you decide.

…no.  Nice try.  But if we’re going to go down that road, first let’s ban you fuckers from using private jets:  fly commercial.  And sell off your exotic car collections, while you’re there.

…in the “Custer Killed By Indians” Breaking News department.

…leading to the inevitable:  “YOU HAD ONE JOB!”

…“Husband Kills Himself In Delivery Room.”

And in INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and to nobody’s surprise, the last survivor is:

Finally:

…I dunno, man;  seems kind of a waste to me.  And isn’t she Colombian?

And that’s all the news that’s fit to be taxed.

Brought to you by:

And you’re going to need a drink after today’s Roundup…

…waaayyy ahead of you.  See next item.

…JUST in time for the mid-term elections and mail-in votes.  Fuck you, fuck your masks, fuck your “social distancing”, and fuck your lockdowns.

…shouldn’t be in ANY legislation, ever.

…and that’s PRESIDENT Ron DeSantis, to you.

…

…and I can’t wait to see the news videos of Girlyman Trudeau running to board his escape plane to Venezuela.  Otherwise:  so long, Canuckistan;  it was nice to know ya.

…ummm have you heard of this “NATO” thing?

…leading to, one hopes, a consumer blacklist of Verizon.

…I WANT THIS JOB.

…headline duly edited for this Roundup, because if you’re going to mention the race of the victim, it’s only fair to mention the race of the criminals, right?  RIGHT?

…only in the fashion industry could winter clothing be considered for summer wear.

And in no-link INSIGNIFICA:

   

…and here’s why no links in INSIGNIFICA:

…seeing as the Britcops have ended all OTHER crime in the country, let’s make up some new crimes.

Finally (to help erase the Gemma Collins pic):

Legs, hey?  Didn’t know she had ’em, never got that far down.

And that, I’m sure, classifies as news.

Sponsored by:

And as always, the news is kinda shitty…

…yeah, like that’s going to put the fatties off their Big Macs.

…from Turban Durbin, the moron who thought Al-Qaeda was just a social club.

…yeah, this endless rodentophobia has to come to an end — it’s more urgent than the climate “emergency”.

…and you’re not full of shit;  you’re excrementally crammed, you Commie bitch.

…key words:  Spanish pilot.

…hands up all those who think that Bidenson is actually going to go to jail for this… none of you, huh?  Me neither.

…nom nom nom BBQ !  (translated from the original Bear).

…Britain without fish ‘n chips would be like… New Jersey.  One day you’ll only be able to get a decent fish ‘n chips in Spain or Portugal.

…silly me, and I thought it would be Russia or China.

…what with senile dementia, I’ve quite forgotten who gets tied up first.

…if by that you mean “incredibly emaciated”, then yes. (no link, on humanitarian grounds)

And in (link-free) INSIGNIFICA:

     

…as once again, we play the “Guess The Race” game amongst the participants.

…as the sage said:  “No matter how beautiful she is, there’s always at least one guy who’s sick of all her bullshit.”  In Ulrika’s case, that would be at least four guys (ex-husbands/childspawners).

Anyway, here are some pics if, like me, you had no idea who this Emily chick is:

Just tragic.  Guy probably probably cheated on her with a chick who knows how to cook pasta.