Category: Bad News

All the news that’s fit to mock.

…violence against men, however, is quite socially acceptable.

…having raised toddlers myself, I want to hear Mom’s side of the story first before passing judgment.

Train Smash Update:

…and the hits just keep on coming.

…suggested new name:  West Washington Huns.

…hey, look on the bright side:  he could have been watching CNN.

…Great Midas’s bleeding hemorrhoids, they’re not competent at anything, let alone spending money.

…women only hate getting a “facial” for the delivery process.

…they’re refusing to lose their income stream from selling permits.

…me, too.  Overwrought, pretentious and cheesy, and let’s not even talk about the music.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

…I must admit that after hearing it several times a day, “Why is Walt Disney World so fucking expensive?” must get quite tiresome.

And now comes the time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

I’ve just figured out a retirement plan:  run for TexGov as a centrist Democrat, raise millions, and when I lose bigly, retire to a farm somewhere in the boonies to live off the remainder of my campaign funds.

Time for the mandatory street totty pics:

 

 

More news:  some good, some insignificant, and most of it terrible as always.

…I said there was some good news.  And even more:

…which can only improve their prospects.  And:

…even better.

…all good advice, although it should have been given over the little shit’s twitching corpse.

…explain to me again the wonders of self-driving cars?

…the way I feel about Washington DC right now, I have mixed feelings about this.

…excuse me while I go off to borrow Sarah Hoyt’s shocked face.

…quite right:  he should have been doused with gasoline and set on fire.

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:

     

And from the Middle East:

…one fish two fish, red fish Jew fish?

…be a billionaire who can afford to tell them all to fuck off?

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

     

…surely this isn’t news anymore?   Oh wait;  it’s a family pic:

And speaking of leg-spreading exercises:

…and as

…heeeere’s Nicola:

For once, we lead with some good news:

…keep ’em coming, guys.

But then we suffer a relapse:

…to paraphrase Insty:  “Climate change:  is there anything it can’t do?”

And:

…this could possibly explain pre-SUV-era Glueball Wormening.

…see next item for an example.

…under the topic, “Bananas:  they’re not just for eating anymore.”

…Monty Python’s Flying Circus to get the same treatment in 5…4…3…2…1...

And speaking of humorless assholes:

…and all because of “innocent vegetables”.  But this next vegan episode will make you howl:

…but wait!  There’s more! (see link)

…wait:  California has an actual budget?  (no link because National Review)

From the Dept. of Covidiocy:
   

…in case you missed it, that’s FrogPres Toyboy Macron.  And from OzReich:

…they’ll find another pretext to boot him out before the tournament starts, never fear.

Britney Train Smash Update:

…leading to the question:  are the FBI ever going to classify these assholes as a terrorist organization?  (It’s a rhetorical question, of course.)

And where would we be without INSIGNIFICA?

   

…none of those problems ever stopped the eternal quest for nookie before, so this new warning probably isn’t going to work either.

Talking about nookie:

Carol Vorderman’s getting out of control:

…nothing wrong with the superstructure:

but that ass is gaining on Lizzo’s…

With commentary so acidic, you need an alkali chaser after reading it.

…if we pay the Russkis a few grand each for their trouble, can we send them our child molesters too?

…never mind that sill old Constit… Consist… you know, the thing.

…now that’s a Jan 6 insurrection, Lefties.  Somehow, our guys missed beheadings.

…because a month without booze is like sending a eunuch to an orgy:  a pointless gesture.

…well, if they’re all like Elizabeth Warren and AOC, hardly surprising.

…and CTRL-F shows no mention of Chinese cities in the article.  Strange…

…and your company is just the one to sell us that vaccine, right?

…those nasty old German Nazis having been so much in favor of an armed citizenry, of course.

And now, for the first time, the 2022 Train Smash Chronicles:

…leading to:

…getting warmer:

…let the Train Smash begin !!!!!!

From the Dept. Of Covidiocy:

   

And ’tis now time for INSIGNIFICA:

 
…see the above “eunuch at an orgy” comment re: alcohol-free gin.

…technically speaking, all ejaculations are premature, as my old friend Patterson used to say.

And speaking of “penis pads”, here’s Reader favorite Rhian Sugden:

No more need be said.

What the hell, let’s get back to pulling the damn wagon…

Now get out there and write better English in your memo to HR giving the precise reasons why they should fuck right off.