Category: Bad News

…is brought to you by:

…and by golly, you’re going to wish you had a pipe going by the time this is all over.

…bringing to us a new (and foul) term:  Christian Woke.

…actually, we’re pissed off at the government’s response to Covid-19.

…warning:  that’s going to be a long read.

…which is a lot better than me — I ignored it completely.

…okay, so it’s not all bad news, especially if you follow the link to see the reaction.

…and the good news keeps on coming.  Still in Georgia:

…aw Hersh, not you too.

…people are still getting arrested for this?

…undoubtedly a Bad Thing:  unless it takes out Portland, of course, and then we can call it a tie.

…key word:  Wisconsin.  Trying to beat Ed Gein to the title, she was.  Damn.

And now:  INSIGNIFICA.

     

And speaking of Da Nooz, here’s the BBC’s own Katie Derham, who it must be said looks quite delectable for a chick broad woman in her early 50s:

 

…and that, as they say, is the news for today.

Like many people, I don’t watch Presidential State Of The Union speeches (of either party), because I only have so many TVs in the house and so many bullets to shoot at them.

Seriously, I don’t like hearing from Government, in detail, of how they’re planning to fuck me over the next year.

So I generally read VodkaPundit’s live drunkblog of the whole thing because a. I like Stephen and b. it’s way funnier than what’s actually being said  (e.g. during a George W. SOTU, “I do believe the President’s pants just caught fire”).

However, last night Steve went beyond the pale with this comment:

“Liz Warren just spontaneously orgasmed when Biden said he’d raise taxes.”

Clearly, our esteemed commentator forgot the Iron Rule, i.e. that “Elisabeth Warren” and “orgasm” should never be put in the same sentence.  The mental image is just too ghastly for a civilized man to deal with.

Today’s Roundup is brought to you by:

And on we go:

…ah yes, another argument for letting computers run everything.

…although they’ve probably kept back enough to be used against their own citizens, the fascist fuckers.

…let’s just see what happens if Gummint tries tries to push this shit on us again.

…some filthy sexist probably asked why all their rape victims are women.

…

…can’t win, so why bother? [snigger]

…should have just called the toilet “undersized” instead.

…key word:  California.

…oh, just fuck off and peddle your fake panic somewhere else.  We have bigger things to worry about, e.g. this:

…oy, here we go again…

And still on that silly topic:  INSIGNIFICA!!!

 

…as Our Britney gets both a dick stick from her latest boyfriend, and a head of steam [sic]  going for a Train Smash.

Finally, here’s something newsworthy:  ITV newsreader Lucrezia Millarini.

Quite delectable.

Brought to you by:

And guaranteed to make you do just that is this little snippet:

…and these little shits should all be taken out and “shot” in the back of the head.

…you mean, other than the fact that it’s in New York?  And speaking of which:

…too bad you didn’t see this coming two years ago, assholes.

…LOL they’ve finally figured out that KiwiPM Lesbo One is evil?

…here we go again:

   

Lesh get back to da nooj, shall we?

…I should damn well hope so.

…key word:  Australia.  Follow link at own risk.

…

…good.  Can we start sending them there now?

…the Democrats that you voted for, that is.

And heeeeeere’s INSIGNIFICA:

 

…wait:  people can’t pronounce S-L-U-T?  Still, I suppose this is as good an excuse as any:

 

Still a Train Smash Woman, bless her little ginger heart…

Brought to you by:

And speaking of assholes and Manhattan:

…oh no no no, you guys have to live with the consequences of your foolishness until the next Republican president gets to the White House.

…shoulda told those liberal Connecticut asswipes to go pound sand.  And in a not-entirely-unrelated item:

…because of course they do.

…I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just punch this demented bitch in the face.

…good thing my kids are grown, because if anyone called the cops on me for that, I’d tell them and the cops to MYOFB, or get somewhat more than a “smack” from me.  Fucking busybodies.

…ah jeez. another “mental health” in a headline.  At this rate, I’m going to have to start ordering gin deliveries by the case.

…man, he must have fucked up badly.

…until los federales start harassing your peaceful protest;  then shut ’em off and let them die.

From the Department of Total Suckage:

…one of the best rock vocalists of all time.

Oh look:  the Greens are coming back!

…let’s not forget all those mid-19th century SUV stagecoaches.  And right on cue:

…get lost, Fuckface.

And in the Heart Of Stone Department:

…cue tiny violins.  And:

…I’m sorry, but I can’t stop laughing at this one — a blind guy wandering around a car park?  As Larry the Cable Guy says, “That’s some funny shit right there”.  And imagine if the second unfortunate soul had senile dementia?  But in the meantime:

And now is time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

…and the proof:

…because if Paris is doing it, it’s the new trend.

Try to contain yer excitement.  Because coming to a WalMart near you: