Category: Bad News

Might as well end the year with a whimper…

…not as strange as some of the other stuff he’s supposed to be in charge of, sweetie.

…killing your sister because you don’t agree with her way of life is a cultural thing, you see, so they won’t be charged.

…another cultural custom, of course.

From the Heart Of Stone Department:

…if this was California or New York, those three deaths would be entered as “Death Caused By Covid”.

…I don’t think Mr. Wretched has had breakfast at Cracker Barrel for quite a while.

…I’d be really curious to see how what percentage of those women are married.

…I see that the rodent was “humanely trapped” and handed over to the SPCA.  Lucky squirrel;  in any American town not in California, he’d have been shot dead in less than ten minutes after the first bite — along with a few dozen others, just to be sure.

…the offender being Irish, I’m amazed that this even made the news.

And now it’s time for the last INSIGNIFICA of 2021:

     
…Fauci who?

Finally:

…I know, I know… you want to see proof.

I dunno about “perfect”, but they sure as hell ain’t too bad.

And now the Bad News Department will be signing off till next year…

End-ish-of-year news, more or less the same as any other time.

…I tried to download the file, but it didn’t fit onto my 7GB thumb drive.

…or not.

…bringing all their shitty voting habits with them, no doubt.

…and well done, you.  It’s about damn time.

…you have to be a really special kind of asshole to do this.

…one would think they’d have started doing this long ago, but whatever.

…“I wuz carryin’ them for a fren’!”

…oh by all means, let’s talk about why more kids are being shot dead in Chicago.

And on that topic, this was seen at an anti-vax mandate protest in Los Angeles:

…just as long as you remember that sentiment when we start talking about guns, okay?

…beyond satire, or even comment.  I suppose “Gimpy The Retard” would satisfy them?

…and yet you took the gig, didn’t you?

…and failed miserably, as always, you scabby tart.

And now ’tis the season for INSIGNIFICA:

      …but WAIT!  there’s

BREAKING NEWS!

Liz Hurley has an owie:

Keef’s reaction:

Like a post-Christmas Day hangover, here we go again with the “news”.

…were the Neolithic tribes Black?  I think we should be told.

…so they’re saying that only White people can do math ?  Isn’t that rayciss?

But just to the south:

…and about damn time too, say I.

…the only way this headline could have been any worse is if it had been with a puppy.

Then again:

…and to think they outlawed public flogging.

Some better news:

…let’s hope that a host of others (e.g. rappers) follow his lead, and make it sooner.

 
…alas, it’s satire — but then again, so is ex-Senator Maojacket.

…no doubt the Justice Department will want to prosecute the wall’s builder.

…as long as there wasn’t an iPhone among them…

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

     

And right on time, here’s Kelly to make us feel all warm and snuggly for the season:

If you have the week off, well done.  If your evil bloodsucking scumbagbastard of a boss is making you go to work this week… I’m so sorry.

If you thought last week’s roundup was bad…

…clearly, J&J’s bribe wasn’t large enough.

…and if he’d been executed for the first murders, she’d still be alive today.

…what’s to wonder?

Also via Insty:

…rough guess: 

…it would be worth freeing the loathsome toad, just to see all the #MeToo womyns’ hair spontaneously ignite.

Filed under “SNEAKY FOREIGNERS”:

…best con trick ever.

…no mention, of course of the number of men killed daily.

…sounds eerily like Gretchen Whitmer’s plan for Christmas in Michigan.

…having seen Scottish teens in action, the likely result was “Yes: 100%” — for both sexes.

And two reports from the Woke Bullshit Department:

…that’s called a “Biden”.  And it happened sixteen years ago.

…proving that OMG not even virtual reality is safe from #ToxicMasculinity.

And from the annals [sic]  of Gen Z / Millennial Deep Thoughts:

…I dunno;  probably something to with “rent”, “groceries”, “gasoline” and “electricity” … not to mention “ammunition” for when it really does end.

And now is time for the INSIGNIFICA:

     

And one with a link:

…in a “lemons/lemonade” scenario, I see a promising and lucrative OnlyFans career in her future.  Cue the outrage in 3…2…1…

Some more “normal” youngins for Christmas:

Eva Habermann

Sophia Vergara

Elizabeth Montgomery

Zooey Deschanel

Some chick sent to me by Reader Old Texan

Hey, at my age, they’re all youngins.

Increasing irrelevant, perhaps leading to the conclusion that “News Roundup” may just be renamed “INSIGNIFICA” in the future.

…good old Mother Nature to the rescue.  Now if these microbes could just evolve to eat Communists…

…LOL that Austrians are revolting against fascism, of any kind.

…if it did, the National Front would have been the ruling party for the last two decades.

…clearly, the producers have decided that viewing audience size is irrelevant to a movie’s commercial success.

…although it’s a pub (a Good Thing) it should have been a storehouse for guns and ammo… oh wait, it’s in Britishland.  Nemmind.

…I wonder where he got that idea, that even criminals hate kiddie-fondlers?

…key word: Pakistan.

…I don’t know what “bodies” means in the current vernacular, but I do know that “Elizabeth Warren” and “big meat” should never be mentioned in the same sentence.

…he’ll be acquitted if the jury consists of men over 65.

…the number “25” no doubt arrived at through scientific study, rather than government pulling an arbitrary number out their ass.

Which leads us inexorably into INSIGNIFICA:

      

And the ultimate INSIGNIFICA:

“Arise, Sir Lewis.”  What a load of old bollocks.

Finally:

…as an employment tip for my female Readers.