Category: Bad News

Oy… the news has been particularly awful over the past few days.  Except for this snippet:

…which is newsworthy only because of its unexpectedness.

But the rest has been the customary shit show.

…not to brag, but my Butterball is already in the freezer, on the advice of some old contacts in the supermarket business. Do ye all likewise.

…the really awful thing is that Mummy Dearest hadn’t taught him how to spell his name before he started school.

From the Heart Of Stone Department:

…and on his way to court, even, thus saving us all the cost of the formality trial.

…what was the middle bit, again?

From the annals of WTF SEX?

…it should be noted that the boys’ parents also need a good talking-to.

…I would suggest that the old goat be tied to a chair so that he can be beaten to death by the townspeople, but someone is no doubt going to have a problem with this.

It’s All A Load Of Old Bollocks
…until the next study comes out.

…and he was so upset, he won the race.

…and my Five Worst such books were once regarded as too over-the-top.

And now, INSIGNIFICA:

     

…and if my own wife felt the same way, she’d be bonking every guy in the street, because:

News fresh off the wine  presses:

…I’d prefer that instead of jail they should be locked inside a burning police car, but no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this suggestion.

…doesn’t matter how far it reaches;  nobody’s going to be prosecuted, much less jailed or executed for their fucking treason.

…I guess it’s not all bad news today.  Oh, wait:

…don’t tell us, tell it to the fucking Chinese.

…because of the fucking Chinese.

…yeah, but unless “live ammo” is part of the order, it’s fucking useless.

…nothing like taxing income before you’ve earned it.

Enough of that depressing shit.  Let’s look at the important news:

…as a preliminary guess, my diagnosis would be “fucking psycho” [pun intended]

…wonder no more, fuckwit.

And some INSIGNIFICA:

   
…the last winning the “No Shit, Sherlock Award” for 2021.

And finally:

…you had me at “Christina Hendricks”:

Along with thum pithy commentary, ath alwayth.

…too bad she can’t run for our presidency.

…yeah, all those Comanche hospitals we burned, those Kiowa highways we destroyed, and let’s not even talk about the Cheyenne motor industry… or this Apache theater:

…I guess I missed the memo where a foreign government figurehead gets to tell people how to spend their own money.

…a.k.a. the “we break it, you fix it” management style.

…a.k.a the “we’ll cause your prices to rise, but you have to lower them anyway” school of economics.

…to the hearty relief of airline passengers everywhere,  What a goat rodeo that was.

…I think this “creative shaming” needs a little acknowledgment, not censure.  As my homies say, “Bitch had it comin’.”

…I guess his (terminal) blood cancer had nothing to do with it.

…in other words, “Wah wah wah I didn’t get invited even though I’m a homo and should therefore have been at the head of the line.”

Time for INSIGNIFICA:

 

And once again, we solve the eternal puzzle of why men play professional football:

 

Here we go again:

…

…not to mention all that “undocumented shopping” going on.

…doing the job that the Feddle Gummint won’t, the motherfuckers.

…

…more like a by-product of American feminism, but whatever.

…you mean, like when Trump was President?

…and you’re absolutely not a fucking fascist, you rancid old bitch.

…to the surprise of absolutely nobody.

…you mean, Future POTUS DeSantis.

From the Dept. Of Suckage:

…sad, but understandable.  Thanks for all the hard work, guys.

MORE FALLOUT FROM THE “JON GRUDEN EMAIL SCANDAL”
…and if I gave a shit about the NFL or what it was doing, this would be upsetting.

And now, some more INSIGNIFICA:

   

And speaking of things being good enough to eat:

Call me a far right-wing extremist, then… and by the way, Bone Daddy’s “burnt ends” are addictive.