Category: Bad News

Today’s Roundup is as long as John Holmes, so let’s get stuck in like he did.

…so in other words, just like it was before we invaded the place twenty years, thousands of American lives and a trillion dollars ago.  How nice.  And in related news:

…yeah, when we get round to compensating the families of American people mistakenly killed by our own cops raiding the wrong address, then we can talk.  So sorry to sound heartless, but fuck you.

In Election News:

…oh what the hell, why should we be the only North Americans to suffer from a shit government?

…who do they think they are?  Michigan Democrats?

…“return”?  What’s Angela Merkel, bread pudding?

…under what definition of “cowardice” does “one man attacks three cops” fall?

…why would the Magyars be listening to Romney?  Nobody in the U.S. does.

…and the results soon follow:

…nice one, Gammy.

…we all agree, except that you live in Britishland so you’re wasting your time.

…in the spirit of Anglo-American friendship, we should send FBI-has-been James Comey Over There to help out.  He’s marginally better than a stuffed donkey, although some opinions differ.

…fuck off, Boris.  The Green bullshit is only to divert attention from all your other cock-ups, and you’re not fooling anyone.  And by the way, trouble is looming:

…and wind power isn’t going to save you, you Etonian shit-for-brains. [redundancy alert]

…well, I guess that technically speaking, 2% is less than half.

…this is a “dog bites man” report.

Time for some INSIGNIFICA:

…she tricked you, not him, Toots.

…in a follow-up report, the doctor was found beaten to death by a caffeine-deprived lunatic.  And I have an alibi.

…is this a great country, or what?

Now pick two of the following that you’d invite to an airborne threesome:

A:

B:

C:

D:

E:

F:

G:

Remember:  only two.

All the news that’s fit to whatever.

…the poor things should probably ask advice from elderly family members who survived the Blitz.  OMG they didn’t even have cell phones and online gaming back then.

…next, they’ll be banning breathing on odd-numbered dates.  To save the planet.

…bet they got that name from random Scrabble tiles.

…I hate to break it to you all, but Kim Kardashian IS a Dementor.

…as long as they move them all back to California or New York, we’re good.

…which is probably because Democrats fear just about everything.  Anyway, that being the case, a whole bunch of Afghan “refugees” should be relocated into Democrat-majority neighborhoods.

And speaking of Democrat neighborhoods:

…California lawmakers having fixed all their state’s serious problems.

From the Heart Of Stone Dept:

 

…in an immediate statement to the New York Times, Hillary Clinton called it the worst case of mass suicide ever, and added that she and all her staff had alibis.

…actually, what I’d like to know is:  could White minority rule be any worse than the current situation?

And now it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

    
…only time I was close to having an orgasm at a gym, I was told to put it away.

Finally, on the topic of women, orgasms and Dementors:

Yeah, Lynn Russell:  the only good thing ever to come out of Headline News.

Special Afghanistan Edition:

…proving that even the Muzzies can get some things right.  And:

…kinda like what we want to do to Democrats, really.

As for the Great Resettlement:

…and as long as they end up in South Philly, they’ll feel quite at home.

 
…that’s part of all that “cultural difference” the Woke are always telling us to respect.  Meanwhile, back home:

…and in response, the Biden Administration applies the hammer:

…that’ll show ’em.  Or maybe not:

…there ya go.

Time for a little RCOB moment or two:

…as they watch their viewership fall, and fall.

…and to nobody’s surprise, no one has been arrested.  Had this been thirteen (Homo) Pride flags, however, the offenders would have been arrested and sentenced already.

Finally, let’s just think of what some Afghan women would look like without the naqib:

 

Sad, innit?