Category: Bad News

With news so bad, you’ll puke.  Today, we start off with a large helping of INSIGNIFICA (with links and comments, this time):

…daughter “JAMES”?  Poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.

…file under “Nobody’s Business”.  Journalism at its most prurient and intrusive finest.

…I preferred him when he was still an executive transvestite, and funny.

…you never go Full Luddite.

…Jesus wept.

…the only “sex toy” I’d want to use on this whiny moonbeam tart would be a bullwhip.

…fighting over sports teams is only slightly more ridiculous than fighting over shampoo brands.

Now onto the REAL [snigger]  news:

…don’t you just love the Third World?  Next thing, they’ll believe in Socialism.  And speaking of which:

…sorry, Nigel old chap, but I’ll start to believe it when you Brits privatize the NHS.

…sorry, but I had to exercise a little editorial discretion, there.

…and if you were dead, we wouldn’t have to endure bullshit like this, you smug Canucki socialist sow.  (For those with short memories, this foul creature was once governor of Michigan.  Yeah, I know:  Michigan voters have no clue.)

And just to improve the spirit, so to speak, here’s a Michigander who isn’t ugly:

   

If Dita isn’t good news, we’re all in trouble.

All the news that’s fit to moon:

…nice to see that the BritGov is finally “allowing” bonking à la carte.  Scotland, however, is not prepared to go that far:

…oh aye, leave that shagging stuff to the Sassenachs.

…and you were doing SO WELL up until now, sweetie.

…clearly, what we need is commonsense lightning control.  Or commonsense football control.

…nice to see that the disheveled BritPM has solved all the UK’s other problems, so he can devote his time to this one.

…not sure if that’s a step up or a step down, quite frankly.

…holy hell.  Talk about an over-achiever… and speaking of which, here’s superslut Madonna’s little girl:

…not a bad bum, actually.  And still on the topic thereof:

…to upstage that, the bridesmaids would pretty much have to go naked.

Moving from shapely buttocks to big assholes:

…errrr Mitt, old buddy;  I don’t think the GOPe had much of the lesbian vote anyway.  Ask that purple-haired soccer chick/bloke.

And speaking of INSIGNIFICA:

     
…and Keeley who, you ask?

 

Oh yeah, that Keeley Hazell.

News that elicits a chuckle or two, and it should.

…as if we needed yet another reason not to buy anything Disney.

…’nuff said, although the same request from Mark Zuckerberg would have been even better.

…and also in the interests of “diversity”, future England teams will include two preteens and two women, with predictable results when they lose every single game.

…someone explain to me why anyone should listen to anything these ignorant, pampered woke-tossers say.

…Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face was unavailable for comment.

…not from where I’m standing;  most people seem to be not wearing them anymore.  Except for the usual morons, e.g.:

 

And speaking of plague-ridden pox-holes:

  
…just add Black Fungus to the endless list of Things That Could Kill You In India.

Now for some good news, for a change:

…what he said, times 49.

Let’s do some fun stuff:

…link contains no actual nudity;  don’t bother.

…given that this happened in NYFC, I’m amazed that it’s considered “unacceptable”.  Also, it being NYFC, I’m amazed that anyone actually complained.

…so her boyfriend  beats her up and stubs cigarettes out on her geriatric body, and all of a sudden it’s aliens.

And now:  INSIGNIFICA:

   

Here’s Teri Hatcher, back when she was interesting:

Now go off and do some Superman-type stuff.

The usual mix of bullshit, assholiness, stupidity and government tyranny [some overlap].

…thus rendering it unwatchable, and unwatched.

…probably using the same process he used for designing Vista.

…yeah, putting synthetic chemicals into your body was always risk-free. [/sarc]

…which means that we probably need to worry, because China is a bunch of lying asshoes.

…let’s hear it for !SCIENCE! — and incidentally, that makes the score:  Climate Predictive Models 0, Reality 10,000.  You have a better chance of winning the Powerball than they have of getting the forecast correct.

…using the Left’s previous argument in a different cause:  if they’re old enough to die in battle, they’re old enough to vote  carry a gun. And speaking of underage:

…so he could pork her without getting arrested? [/Jerry Lee Lewis]

…I should point out that the vibrator was first powered by electricity in 1880 (twenty years before the invention of the electric iron and vacuum cleaner).  Here’s kinda what they looked like:

And now for even more INSIGNIFICA:

   
…as Mr. Free Market said, when I sent him this article:  “Ah, summer.”

Which reminds me of this Summer (Monteyes-Fullam), looking all summer-y:

…because that’s just the way my mind works.

Confetti blown in the wind
Nobody cares
Journalists howl at things.
— Haiku, Kim du Toit

So today we lead off with INSIGNIFICA:

     
…and the A in Arquette stands for Asswipe.

Now onto the the (ahem) “hard” news…

…but that means they’ll just hate us up to 11 now !

…no doubt celebrating the news of America’s withdrawal, in their traditional manner.

…and in all those years, she never once thought of, say, leaving his freako ass and going home to Momma.

…not to be unkind, but the only way this chick could “sizzle” is if you dropped her onto the griddle at Waffle House.

…it’s not crazy:  you are, you fat trailerpark sow.

…we’re not “allowing” it, as none of the poxy car manufacturers has ever actually asked our permission.

…I didn’t think I could like these three guys any more than I already do, but this is epic.

…and when Mr. Sex Pistol himself calls you a moron…

…don’t too excited, folks.  This has as much chance of getting past President Braindead’s veto pen as Ted Nugent has of getting a handjob from Oprah Winfrey.  In Madison Square Garden.  On stage.

…see the item above.

…serves ’em right for being rude.

…oh.  My bad.

…

Silly fools even draw the swastika ass-about-face.

And finally, from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious:

The REAL news:  Carol Vorderman has freckled boobs.