Bad News – Page 80 – Splendid Isolation

News Roundup

March 8, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

Commentary short and sharp, like one of these:

…perhaps I can be of some assistance, here:

And in related news:

…and it’s a good thing we Texans don’t actually care what this asshole thinks.

More Chinkvirus silliness:

…coming up: more from Captain Obvious in a later bulletin.

…if by “country” he meant “the IT industry” , then he’d be largely correct.

…and three hours later, he stabbed some more people.

…just a thought: perhaps this kind of thing would end if police officers “hurled” lead projectiles at charging BLM protesters.

…

…to quote Professor Glenn Reynolds: “Run. Them. Down.”

…now if they could just add Cialis to the formula, men would be lining up around the block to buy the stuff.

…and quite justifiably so:

If I’d posted that pic in my weekly Caption Competition feature, the winning comment would probably have been: “See? Even whores can cook!”

News Roundup

March 5, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

With very pithy commenth.

…which explains everything you ever wondered about jazz.

…I have an alibi.

…an argument for buying wine in 5-gallon boxes, I’d say.

…I get that you’re pissed off at the lockdown, but bombing a Chinkvirus testing center is going to solve the issue… how, exactly?

…you’d think the Irish, after all these centuries, would have figured out by now that the expression “perfidious Albion” was not meant to be taken as a joke, but as a warning.

Wait, that must be a misprint. Oh, here we go:

..ah, that’s better.

…it’s happening here in Texas, and also in other states. Not holding my breath about California and New York, though.

…clearly they’re not interested in learning from the Great Texas Freeze Of 2021, because as any fule kno, it never gets cold around Britishland so all their little propellers will spin forever and ever amen.

…she’s just getting us all ready for when President Braindead eventually takes the stand himself.

…let’s take this concept and implement it in numerical order. Start off with a background check for all book- and movie sales (First Amendment), and only then apply it to guns (Second Amendment). Fuckers. And on the same thread:

The Evil 200
…and no, that’s not a NASCAR race. Feel free to do whatever you want with this information.

Finally, on to a more pleasant topic, sorta:

…it’s just a nice way of saying that her love tunnel has seen more traffic than the Lincoln Tunnel.

And speaking of well-worn thoroughfares:

…sounds about right, although he left out “town mattress”.

Sorry.

Suspended Plans

March 3, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News, SHTF

It looked as though New Wife and I would be able to move back into our apartment around next Monday (March 8), but that was before we went back there yesterday evening to get a few things. Here’s what greeted us, firstly the living room:

…and the laminate flooring has gone bye-bye too. Next, the entrance hall:

And finally, the master bedroom:

…but amazingly, the carpet (which was soaked) is being covered up to protect it from the carnage — which means they don’t plan on replacing it. Uh huh. Time for a little explanation of the facts of life to Management…

But it looks as though month-end will be a more realistic move-in time, now.

And once again, folks: Thank you all so much for your unbelievable generosity. It has made all the difference, by enabling us to order replacement furniture and such before the insurance company made its final settlement offer — the excellent news being that we’ll be getting a full settlement of our stated replacement value, and the funds will arrive either tomorrow or the next day. But having that little bit of financial security immediately after the catastrophe made all the difference to our mental well-being, and we are eternally grateful.

News Roundup

March 2, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News

With commentary, spicy like Odalys Garcia:

…apparently there was some Hollywood awards show, and a few trendies and old Commies sounded off, like anyone outside their own circle cares what they think anymore. Viewership was 5.1 million, compared to Trump’s CPAC speech with 31 million online viewers. LOL

…a great idea for spending a whole bunch of other people’s money on a movie that maybe 0.0000005% of the Western world will actually pay to see, e.g. the previous such effort, Ballbusters. And speaking of which:

A mother-of-three spat pepper spray into a police officer’s eye after it was fired into her face and mouth as she was arrested in Bristol
…for some reason, I just can’t seem to find any sympathy for P.C. Pepperspray.

…how about the “politics of fuck you”, you racist hustler.

Never mind, President Bigbucks is riding to the rescue:

…and as a real African American, I cannot wait for you honkies to gimme wass ri’ fooey mine.

…yeah, why IS that, President Braindead?

…which would be like saying that someone’s cough has got better, now that he’s dead. More to the point: WTF is the “World Economic Forum” and why should anyone be listening to them anyway?

…and no doubt, the next Republican president is going to make him as dead as Bin Laden (because President Mail Fraud sure as hell won’t).

…surprising as it may seem to some Brits, not everyone in the world cares about the antics of some titled twat.

…[insert cock joke here]

…in Portland-Am-Rhein.

…and yet Over Here, we can’t even indict the bureaucrats who tried to undermine a legally-elected Republican President. And speaking of which:

…as if just being John Brennan wasn’t embarrassing enough.

Did someone say, “More Odalys Garcia”?

Thought so.

Because That’s Why

February 26, 2021 Kim du Toit Bad News, Business

As Britishland begins to emerge ever so slowly from its Chinkvirus lockdown foolishness, businesses are being allowed to open, one sector at a time. Which leads to squeals like this:

Gym boss spending £20,000 a month furloughing staff slams Boris Johnson for reopening pub beer gardens before fitness centres as she asks ‘why isn’t health a priority?’

Here’s my problem with arguments like this. Instead of arguing the unfairness of pubs opening before gyms and wanting gyms to be given preference, she should be asking why gyms and pubs shouldn’t open at the same time.

And it’s all about the definition of “health”, isn’t it? I for one resent the assholes who think that we should all be physically healthier — whereas there’s an equally- or even more-important “social” health, that of companionship and shared good times that would be improved by the opening of pubs.

Moreover, just from a pure numbers perspective, I bet that there are untold millions of people all over Britain lining up to go to their favorite pub — or any pub, for that matter — whereas there are only a few thousand (largely) urbanites waiting to go and hit the treadmills. If there’s a utilitarian argument (which seems to be what the unkempt Boris Johnson is following), it’s that opening pubs will give pleasure to the greatest number of people — and that if there’s a priority, it should be to the general public rather than a relatively-small number of smug and self-satisfied health-obsessed scolds.

Here are the two arguments: “Go to the pub and have a good time” vs. “Go to the gym because you should be fitter (unspoken: you overweight slob).”

No prizes for guessing which argument will (and should) win, every time.