Better And Better

One of the joys of apartment living is that you are not solely responsible for your own well-being.  So when your neighborhood is suffering from “rolling” (i.e. random, lengthy and sporadic) blackouts, and the outside temperatures are well below freezing (e.g. 21°F yesterday), you can take all proper precautions that you’re told to do — conserve energy and heat, keep taps running to prevent pipes from freezing, bursting and flooding, and so on — that does not mean that your upstairs neighbors who hail from, say, Hyderabad are going to follow the same instructions precautions because such weather conditions are unknown to them and…

Yes, Gentle Readers, a water pipe burst on the top floor of our block late yesterday, flooding (and I mean flooding) all the floors below — we, of course, being on the ground floor ergo  getting all of it.

So we ended up with a foot of water in our apartment which came in through any of the various holes in our ceiling (e.g. smoke detectors, light fittings, air vents and, eventually, wall electrical sockets).  To give you an idea of the carnage, we put a tall kitchen trash can under one of the leaks, and it filled to the brim in about four minutes.

The apartment management acted in typical molasses mode, managing to turn off the water supply some two hours after said flood was reported.

It looks as though all our stuff has been destroyed:  furniture, beds, carpets, and even some of the artwork which was hanging from the (sodden) walls.  A lot of clothing has gone bye-bye as well as things like towels which we initially deployed en masse  to try to stem the water — all of course to no avail.

The guns are okay — they’re kept in a safe quite high off the floor — although I haven’t checked on their condition yet, the carpeted floor around the safe seems quite dry.  Ditto the ammo, which is kept in another safe in the garage which was mercifully spared the carnage, I think.

Right now, New Wife and I are, like refugees from some natural disaster, huddled at the long-suffering Doc Russia’s place, two suitcases of clothing between us. Thank gawd for Scotch — although I note with alarm that his J&B supply is near extinction.  (Just how much more distress must I undergo, I ask, with tears falling into my glass.)

In about six hours’ time I’ll head back to the apartment to see the full extent of the damage.  I expect all sorts of fun like frozen water (temperature as I write this:  18°F, or -8°C to those of the other persuasion) both inside and around the apartment, assuming that is that I can actually get there as we’re also having a medium-heavy snowfall which will turn to ice immediately once it hits our (un-salted) north Texas roads.

No odds on being able to get into the garage either because the power is out, the oh-so-convenient electric door-opener being suddenly not-so-convenient.

And just to add to the joy, all the neighborhood hotels are closed because there’s no power.  I managed to find an extended-stay hotel way the hell to the east from tomorrow night onward, for at least a week.  This will not help New Wife get to her job, the only consolation being that her school is closed for the rest of the week — but next week she faces a 30-mile commute instead of her regular 5-mile trip.  (Of course, what she’s going to wear is a matter of some interest;  we did manage to save at least a couple of her outfits, but they’re going to have to relax the dress code quite substantially.)

Bloody hell, even our suitcases (which are kept in a storage locker off the patio) were ruined, so we arrived at Doc’s looking like Belgian refugees circa 1940 France.  (No horse-drawn carts and no Messerschmitts strafing us, but the former was impossible as the horses would have frozen to death and the latter made unlikely because of the shitty weather.)

I’ll post pics from the disaster zone when I’m able to take some.

So it looks as though 2021 — for Your Humble Narrator, anyway — is going to vie with 2020 for the title of Shittiest Year In Memory.  It was bad enough that we had no power and were cold in the apartment;  we had made provisions (SHTF stuff) and were surviving.  Then came Noah Time, and now all bets are off.

We have renter’s insurance, of course, but even the insurance guy was unreachable yesterday because he too lives in an area which has had no power for three days.  So I’m in the dark as to what will happen next, financially speaking.

Aaaargh.  As New Wife put it:  “Come to sunny Texas, they said;  it never gets below freezing, they said.”

When we get our lives back together again, we can address the Texas power generation topic, as outlined by Tech Support 2.0 below.

News Roundup

As always, commentary tasting like battery acid.  And speaking of which:


maybe not oral sex, though.  Just sayin’.  And on that topic:


for women, it’s the impact crater in the back of the throat.


maybe if they went still further down and took two knees, then assumed the Muslim prayer position… naah, they’d still get it in the ass.


or, Busted For Telling The Truth #265.  Also:


to be fair, they aren’t like Nazis;  they’re like radical Islamist killers.

Too harsh?


Q.E.D.


guess it just wasn’t his day.  Africa Wins Again.


I wish.  Then at least they’d be about something.


so he didBet it wasn’t the first time she’d cut his nuts off, though.


and Russia Wins Again.


not mentioned:  nobody speaks English.  Even when they’re speaking English, you won’t understand a word.

That said, comedienne Aisling Bea is Irish:

Of course,  she lives in London, not Ireland — which makes her all the more desirable.

News Roundup

With commentary short and sweet, like Kristen Bell.

“It’s time for a wealth tax in America.”
no it isn’t, you rancid, fake-Cherokee Commie tart.


actually, I can think of at least two good reasons why she was always going to make it.

Photo by Frank Trapper/Corbis Sygma


and I think that watching Christine have her daily orgasm would probably keep depression away as well:


…but that’s just me.


and I think it’s probably time to bring apartheid to the world of entertainment:  Black Oscars, Black Golden Globes, Black Pulitzers, etc.  Then we could all ignore them, just like we do the regular ones, while the winners can all feel good about being big fish in small ponds.


otherwise known as “bringing the wood”.


uttered from his position at a British university, founded in 1650 by a Zulu chieftain. [/sarc]


and Darwin pays a visit to Nashville.


I’m not so sure that this is a bad idea, but I will entertain arguments in Comments.


in his defense, I should point out that he is Russian, so she probably should have known betterAlso of interest:  Wifey is quite a babe, while Mistress is a total dog — once again, Hubby is a Russian.


never mind, it’s just the annual brainfart from the Stupidest Person In Congress, Sheila Jackson-Lee (DOA) of HoustonNote:  not a single co-sponsor, so clearly I’m not the only one who thinks this.

Finally, from the Sports Desk: 
Apparently, we should congratulate some guys from Tampa for scoring more baskets than some other guys from Kansas.  The Tampa captain or whatever is apparently some REALLY old fart, who hadn’t yet been born when I was already on my second marriage, but who is married to a Brazilian tart with a German name.


and good for him, say I.

News Roundup

All the news that’s fit to choke on.  So let’s plunge into the murky, pox-laden soup that is today’s world:

 
which is all well and good.  However, some asshole always has to go and piss in the pudding:


I just wish this “cult” was real, so that we could flog his worthless ass in the public sphere.  Fuck it:  does everything have to be political with these bastards?


proving that unlike the Democrats, even the Chinese can do something right, sometimes.


you had me at “overstuffed little haggis”.

And now, from France:


for public indecency?  Gross licentiousness?  Mais non, because: 

So what caused the Frog fuzz to go beserk about this orgy?


of course it did.

And another from the nation which eats frogs, snails and pressed duck:
arresting a bunch of sex-crazed perverts is one thing;  dissing one of my favorite restaurants (and foods)?  En garde, Pierre.


who is  actually more worthy of memorializing than, say, Barack Obama:  and I don’t even like the Dead’s music.


can’t imagine why anyone would be cheering at any game played by the National Wokeball League, but maybe I’m missing something.  Also, do boos count as “cheering” ?  Asking for a friend.


just give me a minute, I’ve got something cooking

sorry, what were we talking about?

And speaking of pieces of meat:


it’s kinda sad that this lil’ cutie should go from first to last [sic] so quickly in the “Fuck, Marry or Kill” game.

Oh well.. on with the week.

News Roundup

All the news that causes universal facepalming.


just one more way for government to give it to you in the ass.

Still on the topic of the Chinkvirus:


errrr “demanded”?  Guess that “Brexit” thing hasn’t sunk in yet.


in so many ways, Professor.


not mentioned:  the typical profile of the criminals.  (I’m not taking bets.)


I predict that this is going to happen more than once over the next few years.


I haven’t laughed this hard since “Dr.” Jill Biden caught her tits in a revolving door.


errrrr no.  You wanted the evil colonialist Whitey gone, so we left.  You wanted loans, we gave you loans, which you pissed away.  Now the Chinks are bending you over the table, and you want Whitey to come back to save your incompetent, corrupt asses?  Ain’t gonna happen.  (See the New Mexico case study in the post below.)


a picture, in this case, being worth a thousand words:

  …I just like the fact that she keeps it in her office and not in the bedroom.

Finally, a bit of news that’s actually educational:

 
for obvious reasons, among them being that she’s probably more responsive in bed than a lot of “real” women.

Here’s a deluxe-model sex doll:

…I think.  I could be wrong.