Category: Bad News

News that elicits a chuckle or two, and it should.

…as if we needed yet another reason not to buy anything Disney.

…’nuff said, although the same request from Mark Zuckerberg would have been even better.

…and also in the interests of “diversity”, future England teams will include two preteens and two women, with predictable results when they lose every single game.

…someone explain to me why anyone should listen to anything these ignorant, pampered woke-tossers say.

…Sarah Hoyt’s Shocked Face was unavailable for comment.

…not from where I’m standing;  most people seem to be not wearing them anymore.  Except for the usual morons, e.g.:

 

And speaking of plague-ridden pox-holes:

  
…just add Black Fungus to the endless list of Things That Could Kill You In India.

Now for some good news, for a change:

…what he said, times 49.

Let’s do some fun stuff:

…link contains no actual nudity;  don’t bother.

…given that this happened in NYFC, I’m amazed that it’s considered “unacceptable”.  Also, it being NYFC, I’m amazed that anyone actually complained.

…so her boyfriend  beats her up and stubs cigarettes out on her geriatric body, and all of a sudden it’s aliens.

And now:  INSIGNIFICA:

   

Here’s Teri Hatcher, back when she was interesting:

Now go off and do some Superman-type stuff.

The usual mix of bullshit, assholiness, stupidity and government tyranny [some overlap].

…thus rendering it unwatchable, and unwatched.

…probably using the same process he used for designing Vista.

…yeah, putting synthetic chemicals into your body was always risk-free. [/sarc]

…which means that we probably need to worry, because China is a bunch of lying asshoes.

…let’s hear it for !SCIENCE! — and incidentally, that makes the score:  Climate Predictive Models 0, Reality 10,000.  You have a better chance of winning the Powerball than they have of getting the forecast correct.

…using the Left’s previous argument in a different cause:  if they’re old enough to die in battle, they’re old enough to vote  carry a gun. And speaking of underage:

…so he could pork her without getting arrested? [/Jerry Lee Lewis]

…I should point out that the vibrator was first powered by electricity in 1880 (twenty years before the invention of the electric iron and vacuum cleaner).  Here’s kinda what they looked like:

And now for even more INSIGNIFICA:

   
…as Mr. Free Market said, when I sent him this article:  “Ah, summer.”

Which reminds me of this Summer (Monteyes-Fullam), looking all summer-y:

…because that’s just the way my mind works.

Confetti blown in the wind
Nobody cares
Journalists howl at things.
— Haiku, Kim du Toit

So today we lead off with INSIGNIFICA:

     
…and the A in Arquette stands for Asswipe.

Now onto the the (ahem) “hard” news…

…but that means they’ll just hate us up to 11 now !

…no doubt celebrating the news of America’s withdrawal, in their traditional manner.

…and in all those years, she never once thought of, say, leaving his freako ass and going home to Momma.

…not to be unkind, but the only way this chick could “sizzle” is if you dropped her onto the griddle at Waffle House.

…it’s not crazy:  you are, you fat trailerpark sow.

…we’re not “allowing” it, as none of the poxy car manufacturers has ever actually asked our permission.

…I didn’t think I could like these three guys any more than I already do, but this is epic.

…and when Mr. Sex Pistol himself calls you a moron…

…don’t too excited, folks.  This has as much chance of getting past President Braindead’s veto pen as Ted Nugent has of getting a handjob from Oprah Winfrey.  In Madison Square Garden.  On stage.

…see the item above.

…serves ’em right for being rude.

…oh.  My bad.

…

Silly fools even draw the swastika ass-about-face.

And finally, from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious:

The REAL news:  Carol Vorderman has freckled boobs.

With news so dire, you’re going to wanna enroll in the Rifle, Hipflask & Church Steeple Club©.

…well, duh, O Commie Dwarf:  more “workers’ rights” = “less money to fund space exploration”.

…these ads are created by city trendies who have no teenage girls.

…name just ONE.

…and when you read the criteria for membership, you’ll be thankful that you don’t qualify.

…it will stop when you stop worrying and start ignoring.

…oh man, would I love to introduce this snowflake to some real Gestapo agents, or a couple apartheid-era South African cops of my acquaintance.

…the word you are looking for is “betrayed”, not “outed”.  Punishable by:

…and if I called for a volunteer to push this asshole out of the chopper, I’d be killed in the stampede.

…you have to ask yourself who would be surprised by this news item.

…from the Department of the Blindingly Obvious.

…and the very next day after that happens, someone’s going to shoot you in the face.  Enjoy the revolution.

…and she looks pretty much as you suspect she would.  Ordinarily I would tell her boyfriend to find another woman, but from the looks of him, she’s probably as good as he’ll ever get. — Dr. Kim

And now, to cheer you all up after all the bad news:

One for my Readers Over There:

Let’s hear it for the Ozzies:

For my Canucki-Readers:

Finally, for the Seffricans:

Requests from other nations’ Readers will be taken under consideration.