Category: Bad News

So let’s untether the news.

...what’s that, Lassie?  Pigs flying overhead?

...here’s a newsflash for that 80%:  takeout food has ALWAYS been a luxury.

And in the People’s Soviet of Kalifornia:

...so how’s that $20/hour wage thing working, then?  And speaking of failures:

...hey, if Americans aren’t going to buy our shitty Duracell Cadillacs, we’ll just flog them to gullible Brits.

In Glueball JewHate News:

...dkfiem dmrk mgfrdw gymjxd  (sorry, can’t type when I’m laughing hysterically).

...note to the Muzzies:  when you’ve lost the Germans, you’re in big trouble.

...I wonder exactly how many Izzies have visited the Maldives in the past ten years… oh, none?  Talk about a painless gesture.

...and we’ll feed your rotting corpses to pigs.  Fair deal?

And in The Great Cultural Assimilation Project© comes this:

…
(oh… Venezuelan, not Mexican.  Sorry for the confusion.)

...well, except for the fact that the Izzies were going back to their homeland instead of fleeing it, Il Papa has it absolutely correct.  You know, if this fucking moron can’t get the Bible straight...

And in Furrin Election News:

...just as long as they don’t start assassinating Austrian politicians again, we’ll all be good.

And on to

         

And in :

...we saw this curry-flavored totty not long ago on these pages, but sometimes repetition can be A Good Thing, yes?

 

And just one flashback pic to when Our Padma was still a sprightly youngster of 40:

And that’s the end of it all.

We need some kind of protection from news like this…

From the Glueball Jewhate Dept.:

...as long as it’s just on campuses, fine.  If they want to take it to the streets, however...

...which overlaps quite nicely with the next item.

From the The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...I dunno why the locals are so intolerant.  Why can’t they just understand that crime is so much a part of Algerian culture?

...more intolerance;  child rape is an integral part of Nicaraguan culture.

...when you count “nothing” as “extraordinary”, perhaps.

In Transnational Organization News:

...of which they’ve had far more than they deserve anyway.

...LOL I suspect the sample was mostly farmers.

...to the consternation of the European media, no doubt.
#AllCommies

From the Nasty Furrin Country files:

...said position to be occupied by… a man.  (Not from the Babylon Bee)
#Melbourne #OfCourse

...it’s not hate speech, it’s a Government policy statement.

From the Dept. of Health:

…

...like Boomer Villagers need any encouragement.

And now, several instances of

...all sex is risky (if done properly), and doing it is always a gamble.

And on a stroll down :

...let’s spend a few moments with this totty and her well-traveled parts:

I think that barely covers the news for today.

Speaking of snake-oil salesmen:

…

…

And in International News:

…

Speaking of which:

...I think he misspelled “Caliphate”, there.

On a similar topic:

…

From the Dept. of Education:

...can you spell “L-Y-I-N-G  B-A-S-T-A-R-D-S”, children?

…

In Tech News:

...we were not shown the poor innocent shopper’s race;  I wonder why that is?  Could this new software be having problems because all shoplifters look alike?

...more because of their “externalized penis size” perhaps, but I could be wrong.

In the Okay, Cupid Dept.:

...the real news is that the honeymoon night pics will be posted on OnlyFans.

And in the new and improved (not really)

...complaining, or bragging?  I report, you decide.

...yeah, whatever.  To be frank, there’s not that much cleavage to plunge into.  Now her legs, however, are definitely worth a little manspreading:

In fact, the back view is far more plungeworthy:

Amd that’s all the news worth diving into.

Speaking of old dicks, let’s look at what our beloved President is doing.

From the The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

...relax, Jake;  it’s FJB.  Or, to summarize: “President Braindead Is Insane.”  More concise and 100% accurate.

...if “enforcement” means rolling out the welcome wagon, then yes.

...is it just me, or is it time to go all Pinochet on these shitbirds?

In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© news:

...easier than blaming Trump or Boeing, I suppose.

In Global Jew Hate news:

...kinda reminds me of when Kaiser Wilhelm II supported the Arabs against the Jews.

...wait:  Arabs are thieves?  Who knew?

From The Kids Are Alright Dept.:

...considering that the Brit cops appear to do fuck all except harass people who post mean tweets, I would have thought that the work was right up their alley.  Or they’re off on holiday:

...all part of the “work-life balance” thing, no doubt.

Okay, Let’s Blame Whitey:

...oh I just HOPE this is true, because I’d hate to think I had to clean up the coffee splatter for nothing.

...I thought that the prime killers of Black people are other Black people.  Except when they do it to themselves:

...okay, this should have been in the Hearts Of Stone Department.

From the Dept. of Education:

...Teacher Of The Year, baby.

...only good news of the day, that is.

In Technology News:

...everything Microsoft does is fucking creepy.

Time for some 

...wait, WHAT?  I’m not sure even Texas could contain those puppies.

In Sporting News:

...breaking news:  Redneck #1 fights Redneck #2.  [yawn]

...lessee what’s exciting the Irish lad:

  ...maybe it’s her swing. 

On the other hand:

 

...oh.  Then:

...I’m pretty sure he’s not that soft anymore. [see above for reasons]

And that’s all the news fit to take a mulligan.

And speaking of cuts, we have some news from the Dept. Of Education:

...I’d suggest “Gender Studies” (or “Anything” Studies), but then I’d be accused of being a hater.

...wait, there are still some male teachers out there?

And from The Great Cultural Assimilation Project©:

…

In other International News:

...I really, REALLY hope that this was a deliberate act of assassination (by the Izzies, the CIA, Iranian dissidents — anyone, I’m not fussy who), and not just some mechanical failure in the chopper.

...seems as though a lot of countries are having problems with ‘coon invasions.

And on this side of The Pond, although not necessarily in the U.S.A.:

…

And in the Dept. Of Irony:

...this almost rivals “AIDS Cure Found In Dolphin Livers” as a headline.

In the Sexual Confusion Dept.:

...to the surprise of nobody except the Raving Loony Party.

And in Political News:

...I would imagine during the next Democrat Socialist Administration.

...see, if she’d just married him first...

And in Entertainment News:

...and no, it never fucking ends.  Until they go out of business.

...£££££££££££ $$$$$$$$$$$$ €€€€€€€€€€€€ ?  Mind you, it’s not ALL bad:

...even though I STILL wouldn’t recognize any of their songs if my life depended on it.

Time for some more  

   

...and “Who she?” you ask:

 
...good grief, no man should.

And to get all that scrubbed from our brains, we’ll take a drive down :

...we’ve seen her before, and here she is again:

 

And on that low-cut note, we end the news roundup.