Category: Bad News

Keeping it short and sweet, like Salma Hayek.

…and if one of my children ever did this to me, they could expect to see their car firebombed or towed.  Which is why they wouldn’t do it.

…as are we all.  These pathetic accommodationists make Neville Chamberlain look like Attila The Hun.

…I report, you decide.

…hey, “Reverend”:  waddya expect from a bunch of gun-totin’ rednecks, anyway?  Kinda like what we expect from a racist hustler from NYfuckenC.

…I was going to refer to these people as “morons”, but it seems redundant, somehow.

…LOL as panic ensues.

…hardly worth commentary, really.  Anyone who’s ever had a Tequila Evening could probably top that story.

…and until recently, New Zealand was always regarded as the “sensible” country in Australasia.

…order away, Joe.  Let’s see how that works out for ya.

…giving a whole new meaning to the term “one-night stand”.

And speaking of short and sweet:

…although frankly, I was amazed to see that the shortass’s feet even reached the ground.

Finally, a couple of my Brit Readers have complained about me giving short shrift to the extraordinary Rhian Sugden on these pages.  Complain no more:

…summarized for your convenience.

…nobody laugh, because we’re quite capable of doing the same here.  Remember these assholes?

…“We had to kill a few people to save them from spreading Covid.”  Now where have I heard something like that before?

…wouldn’t pay 300 cents for it, but that’s just me.

…and she looks pretty much as you’d expect her to look.

…because only socialists can be racist, you see.

…there he goes, trying to live up to everyone’s expectations of him.  Moron.

…you have to sympathize with the photographer: 

That’s Mayor Lightweight with ILGov Fatboi in the background.  No matter which one you choose to blur, the pic’s going to be a fucking nightmare.

As an aside, I want to dispel the rumor that if you look the Mayor in the eye, you’ll be turned to stone.  I can guarantee that upon looking at her, not a single part of your body will start to harden.  To continue:

…they mean “testing”, but we’ve been down this road before.  Try saying “Tesco’s trialling trollies” six times in a row after a couple cocktails, I dare ya.

…thus completely ignoring anyone who did anything actually, you know, athletic over the past year.  Like anyone gives a flying fuck what Sports Illustrated thinks or does anyway.

…I know where it is:  it’s been smuggled into China.  Prove me wrong.

…and never an errant daisycutter bomb when you need one.  You’d think the Russkis would have been all over this target of opportunity, but noooo.

And if you think out TV is bad in the U.S., try the U.K.:

Here’s something from our TV to cheer you up (no, it’s not “The Hanging Of George Soros”  on Bravo, sorry):

Her name is Bárbara Bermudo and yes, she’s on that Mex channel, Univision.

I’m trying to be “inclusive”, here.

Slim pickings for today, as the news is all about the same old boring shit.  However, in the public interest…

…that’s not quite true:  he referred to your country as a “shithole” (which it is), but considering that assholes and shitholes are inextricably linked, maybe you have a point, there.

…Black Watch Matters?  Not, it appears, to the BritGov.

…of course you’re sorry, Christiane.  And speaking of all that “healing” stuff:

…I know, she’s a brainless Hollywood harlot actress, but I wish I could load all these fuckwits in a time machine  and take them back  to 1939 Germany, just so they could see what real Nazism looks like.  (And yes, of course I’d leave them there.)

…I’m a little confused, here, Congresswoman Rancid African Bitch:  was that the “chaos” of the largest economic growth period in U.S. history, or all that actual chaos caused by BLM/Pantifa-inspired riots and looting in Republican-controlled cities?  But then there’s this:

…yeah, by all means let’s end our imperialistic military adventure in Omar’s home country.  (I think I just peed in my pants, a little.)

…distressingly, this report contains not a single mention of public scourging.  I should also add that as this happened in Wales, the word “brainless” is superfluous.

…no he doesn’t, any more than I feel pressure to have a negative attitude about gun control, which I hate as much as the Commie cocksucker hates America.

…just wait till these same braindead CEOs have to deal with Biden’s new Labor Secretary, Bernie Sanders.

…hey, as long as Salma Hayek is cast in the lead role, I’m cool.