Bad News – Page 95 – Splendid Isolation

That’s The Spirit

October 5, 2020 Kim du Toit Bad News, Gratuitous Chick Pics

In all the frenzy of Chinkvirus panic and the resulting pandemic theater (i.e wearing face condoms which, from all accounts, do little or nothing to actually prevent the spread of the virus, but like the TSA at airports, at least give the appearance of Doing Something ), we have this wonderful example of I-don’t-give-a-fuckitude from someone named Lana Del Rey:

Heheheh… if you’re going to show absolute contempt, then this is the way to do it.

Of course, the uproar has been intense:

Taking to Twitter to share their anger, one person said: ‘I cant belive lana is actually wearing this mask to…..socially interact with people..this is so irresponsible.’
A different fan put: ‘Why is she at an event with a bunch of people wearing a mesh mask??? I love Lana but this is incredibly irresponsible.’
Another follower commented: ‘LANA WEARING A MESH MASK TO AN EVENT FOR HER POETRY WTF So irresponsible.’

…etc. etc. etc.

Me, I’m just chuckling, because you know what’s coming up next, don’t you?

Wait for it…

Government regulations mandating a minimum thread count per inch for cloth face masks!

You heard it here first.

News Roundup

October 1, 2020 Kim du Toit Bad News, Men & Women

Today we feature the “All Sex, All The Time“-type roundup, with commentary shorter than Jerrold Nadler’s dick. [sorry]

…ummm Wayne, dude: there’s this thing called a “vasectomy”…

…and given that he’s not rich, I think the newspaper owes us a tasteful pic of his erect phallus, so we can see just what this guy’s appeal is.

…and you were slut-shamed because you were a choirgirl, right?

…“sparent”? What’s that, Lassie? Hoofbeats?

…given that her pool of likely suitors will come entirely from fanbois inside NASCAR Nation, I’d say her prospects are even slimmer than she thinks.

…and when you’ve lost gayboi Graham Norton…

…not to mention a distinct shortage of willing penises.

…if she’s going to get all her lovers’ faces tattooed there, she’s going to need ElastaGirl arms.

…the main question being: did we really need to know this about the late?

And finally:

…hate to break it to you darlin’, but nobody cares why. Here’s the proof:

Much better than Gwinnie’s bony ass.

Control

September 29, 2020 Kim du Toit Bad News, Technology

Regular Readers all know that I treat the Internet Of Things (IOT) with deep and hostile skepticism. I hate the idea of driverless cars, “remotely-controlled” appliances and -household systems, and don’t even get me started on “smart” guns with embedded chips.

Here’s a decent takedown of the concept:

After a week of tinkering, he effectively turned the coffee maker into a ransomware machine. When the user tries to connect it to their home network, it triggers the machine to turn on the burner, spew hot water, endlessly spin the bean grinder, and display a pre-programmed ransom message while beeping incessantly. The only way to get it to stop? Unplugging your now seemingly possessed coffee maker entirely.

I know that all this is The Coming Thing, and we should all just bow down and accept its inevitability. My standard response to this kind of attitude has always been quite simple:

or the more heated

or even

Stick shifts and car keys, bolt-action or pump action rifles, revolvers, “dumb” coffee machines, house keys, pen and paper… y’all get my drift, right?

Fuck automation, and fuck the Internet Of Things or Skynet or whatever the hell they want to call it.

This post comes to you courtesy of the Internet… goddamn it.

News Roundup

September 29, 2020 Kim du Toit Bad News

Stuff barely worth commenting on, like Michelle Obama’s nude scene in her Network movie*.

…Jeffrey Epstein was unavailable for comment.

…may as well try to explain Quantum Theory to a dog.

…and why shouldn’t she? She’s about as qualified as Barack Obama was, when he announced his candidacy.

…which leaves me somewhat conflicted: ordinarily, I’m all in favor of chopping up random journos in the street.

…which is the primary reason people get followers: limitless access to pudenda. And as always, Monty Python supplies the mot juste.

…because they’re mostly a bunch of insufferable nannies who always know what’s best for you.

…good. The only way this could be any better is if “flogging” was included in the punishment.

…FFS Bobby, just stick to making Mafia movies.

…and imagine the actual level of support if the poll were conducted in Middle America, and not on the Harvard University campus.

…and about damn time.

…hell, why not just call for public vivisection and arena-based child molestation spectacles, while you’re there?

And speaking of child molestation: if we’re going to comment on something truly newsworthy, how about young Ariel Winter’s buttocks?

*Sorry.

News Roundup

September 21, 2020 Kim du Toit Bad News

Short and sharp, like an assassin’s dagger. Let’s start with international news:

…as opposed to L.A. and NYFC, where shoplifters can take whatever they want without penalty, as long as it’s less than $200 value. Which system is better? I report, you decide.

…seems a little redundant — although given the crime, not excessive.

…which, considering that such Moroccans make up about 1% of Spain’s population… stop me if you’ve heard something like this before, for other countries involved in the Great Multicultural Experiment.

…yup, there’s nothing like fucking up the next generation to make us all feel better. For our own fuck-up, see below.

…which clearly means that cops aren’t to be trusted with guns. Disarm The Police !!!! But the Brits do get some things right. Seen over London yesterday:

…why is this international news? Because apparently it was sent by some ~~Russian or Ukranian~~ Canucki , pointing to yet more foreign tampering with our elections.

…considering everything that’s gone into Ozzy’s body over the years and not killed him (including Sharon’s tongue), the Chinkvirus probably wouldn’t stand a chance. (see: Keith Richards)

And of course, all local news is about replacing some dead judge:

…with the expected response:

…does anyone remember how the Aryan Nation or KKK threatened violence over the USSC nominations of the Wise Latina Sotomayor or the Jewish (Ginsburg and Kagan) chicks? Me neither.