Category: Architecture

Not Just Chrysler, Not Just Manhattan

Architecture

I wailed about the difficulties facing the people trying to fix up / sell New York City’s Chrysler Building, and saw the possibility of the disappearance of that wonderful structure.

Well, it’s not just Manhattan.  Heeeere’s London:

A number of major London office blocks costing more than £300million each have recently been put up for sale at the same time.

The four buildings have hit the market at a time where deals have been extremely rare due to rising interest rates and continuous uncertainty about working from home.

All the same issues facing the Chrysler.

Unlike the Chrysler, however, the four London skyscrapers are anything but wonderful:

The first three are of the Le Corbusier-Gropius-Modernist ilk — and frankly would be no great loss to any skyline, let alone London’s — while the last, the aptly-nicknamed Can of Ham, is an architectural carbuncle of the direst kind, but at least it has something of a sense of fun about it.

And while I and many others would dearly miss the Chrysler Building, these British edifices would not only not be missed, but applauded in their implosion.

So mote it be.

Failed Landmark

Architecture, Corporate Fuckery

This just sucks:

The future of the iconic Chrysler Building in New York City is uncertain as its owners face eviction – leaving the crown jewel of Gotham’s high-rise at risk of falling into disrepair.

The owner of the land on which the skyscraper stands said it has terminated the building buyer’s ground lease and taken control of the Art Deco gem in Midtown Manhattan.

To call the Chrysler a “gem” is to do the building a great injustice.  Alone among all the skyscrapers in New York, it’s a building worth saving because its beauty makes it truly a work of art rather than just another grubby office building.

The problem with a building — any building, no matter how well constructed or of what durable materials it was built — is that it needs constant care and refurbishment, which clearly has been neglected by this lovely structure’s various owners over the decades. And to be frank, all of them need to be whipped at the post.

A cursory glance at what the landowners have been demanding for rent over the years, however, may be a clue as to why the neglect has occurred.

But like all downtown buildings, the Chrysler was nuked by Covid and its aftermath of “work-from-home” and empty offices thereby.  So its chances of survival at this point seem remote, unless some super-billionaire with imagination can think of a way out.  (One thinks of the much-maligned Donald Trump, who could probably pull off the miracle;  but he has other things to occupy him at the moment.)

So the Chrysler will probably be taken down like some exhausted Las Vegas casino, except that unlike the typical Vegas eyesore, a piece of great architectural beauty will disappear, and Manhattan will lose, in my opinion, far more of its soul than it lost when the Twin Towers fell.

Might as well look at it while we still can:

Fugly Replacements

Architecture

Back when I posted Fugly Houses (follow the link for the full flavor) wherein an entire subdivision in Britishland was ordered to be demolished because of “foundation issues”, I said this about the demolished houses:

“However, I will not offer odds that the rebuilt houses will look any different from their predecessors.”

And sadly, my prophecy has proved to be correct:

Ugh.  They look like the cell blocks in a Level 3 penitentiary.

Oh How Charming

Architecture, Disaster, Two-Minute Hate

From Dubai-on-Thames:

The tallest skyscraper in London that will rival the Shard is set to begin construction next week. 

Planning for 1 Undershaft began eight years ago but today City Corporation planning officers have finally recommended it for approval ahead of a committee meeting next Tuesday.

Towering at 74 floors, the architectural masterpiece would be built between other east London landmarks, the Cheesegrater and the Gherkin.

Apparently it’s not quite a done deal:

It will still need final sign off from Mayor Sadiq Khan and the next Levelling Up, Housing and Communities Secretary.

“Levelling Up”?  What kind of fucking title is that?

Never a radical Muslim asshole with a stolen airliner when you actually need one, is there?

The Glass Tube As Architecture

Architecture, Modernism

Here’s one from London that gets me chuckling:

Mansour Namaki wants to link his Grade I-listed Regency villa – which was designed by James Burton in 1828 – to the mews house that also sits on the land.

Fair enough.  He owns both properties and the land between them, and it makes good sense to link them rather than have to walk through the garden (in British Weather) just to get from one to the other.  But then it all went pear-shaped:

He has hired Gherkin tower designer Ken Shuttleworth to design a ‘striking’ glass walkway that will join the two properties in the Regent’s Park Conservation Area.

Ah yes… the Gherkin:

…a.k.a. the Glass Suppository, which all by itself made London look… uglier.

What did he expect would happen?

Well, this is what would happen:

…so needless to say, the Usual Suspects and Busybodies got involved:

According to the council, the walkway’s ‘sculptural form would be a deliberately striking intervention which would over-compete with the architectural forms of the historic building and would demand attention.’

Richard Simpson, chair of Regent’s Park Conservation Area Advisory Committee said: ‘We asked the council to reject it and they did. Now we are waiting for the appeal decision.

‘It’s a very interesting house historically. 

‘This walkway would be a completely inappropriate addition both in terms of its scale, as it is two storeys, and its design. Its exotic curvy glazing which is really quite inappropriate.

‘It’s possible that an application for a walkway could be accepted. We are not saying he can’t as several others have but they should be much more modest. The buildings need to be respected.’

And another:

‘The rules are there for a reason. These houses are Listed and the rest of us have to abide by the restrictions. If Historic England has refused to approve it then they will have valid reasons for doing so.

‘The plans aren’t in keeping with the architecture. If he wants to build something modern he shouldn’t have bought a Listed home – they are very strict in the conservation area about what can and can’t be changed.’

And I agree. This bullshit is all about “Well I bought something so I can do anything I want with it” is typical rich-man’s solipsim and arrogance.

Anyway, that glass tunnel looks like something a pervert would use to insert a rat up someone’s anus.

The only good thing I can say about this silly man is that his wife would look really good in a Regency-era ballgown.

No permit needed for those.