Longtime Reader Brad_In_IL sends me a link to an article about “tennis” influencer Rachel Stuhlmann.
Who she, you ask?
Now I put “tennis” in quotes because as far as I can ascertain, there are no pictures or videos extant of her actually playing tennis.
Not that I care.
I also have no idea what, exactly, this young thing (31) actually influences, but again, I don’t care. Whatever she says is fine with me.
The problem with all this self-promotion on Teh Intarwebz nowadays is that people — young women especially — have no clue about how to present themselves to the camera.
Marilyn Monroe, for example, was told early on in her career that she had an unattractive full smile (her teeth were a little too big, and a “big” smile showed her upper gum):
…which is why, in just about every MM pic, you only see half-smiles, or else head-thrown back poses (which foreshorten the teeth and hide the upper gum):
She had someone helping her with her image, you see.
All this came to mind when I saw some nameless Insta-Tok hussy posing as (I think) Mrs. Claus:
…which is fine, I guess — but is completely undone by the next pic, taken from the rear:
Awful. Had the photographer had any idea, he’d have changed the shot — had her bend forward slightly, maybe, to tighten the saggies.
No clue, any of them. Compare and contrast:
…’nuff said.
Okay, we all know that Shania Twain is a Total Hotty.
But ii shames me to admit that although I know who she is, I wouldn’t be able to hum or even name any of her most popular songs, even if you held a gun to my head.
Of course, I’m not exactly in her target market, musically speaking. (Or in any other way, come to think of it.)
Here’s a modern-day totty who could have fit into the Classic Beauty section, were she not young. Allow me to introduce you to Yvonne Catterfeld:
“Now Kim,” you ask, “she’s very pretty; but how can you say she’d qualify as Classic Beauty?”
‘Nuff said.
As to how I stumbled upon her, there’s a clue hidden in tomorrow’s Classic Beauty post… and an explanation as to why she would qualify.
So there I was, all ready to defy that stupid restraining order (I mean, it’s been over ten years, come on) to go and see Nigella Lawson live in Dallas, when this happened:
Nigella Lawson shared an apology video to social media on Thursday after she was forced to cancel her scheduled live show, An Evening With Nigella Lawson, in Dallas.
The television chef and writer, 62, suffered airport woes as her flight to the U.S state was cancelled last minute, leaving her at the airport for five hours.
Personally, I blame the bloody airline involved (probably American, to judge from their “Fuck you so what?” response).
And to think that I was THISclose to being THISclose to Nigella…
I need Breakfast Gin II.
I am forced to watch the foul Great British Bake Off TV show because New Wife loves it, otherwise I would never have heard of block-faced Paul Hollywood (which is, by the way, an excellent porn star name).
Anyway, said celebrity has apparently got engaged (again) to some barmaid totty:
…who is okay, although I have to confess that I preferred his earlier barmaid squeeze:
…because she’s a redhead, natch.
Yeah, you figured it out: I’m not at all interested in Paul Hollywood’s love life, and this was just an excuse to post chick pics.
Anyway, you may now carry on with your day.