Category: Business

Non-Starter

Corporate Fuckery, Drive Time, Eco-Crap

The old legend of Saxon king Cnut sitting in a chair on the beach attempting to stop the incoming tide by royal command is, of course, total bullshit.  Yes, he did that;  but he was attempting to show his idiot courtiers that his royal power had limits, and that there were forces over which no human authority had control.  It was far from being an object lesson in overweening pride and hubris (as it so often is used today), it was the precise opposite.

And here’s its modern-day manifestation.

Anyone with half a brain would have known that battery-powered trucks were a non-starter, for the simple reason that trucks aren’t cars:  they require power, lots of power, to move heavy loads, and sometimes over long distances or over power-demanding terrain withal.   Ferrying humans to and from the supermarket or soccer practice, sure.  Gadding about city streets, absolutely.  But that’s not what trucks were designed for.

So despite boutique efforts like Tesla’s dumpster-looking pickup (surely ol’ Elon was just having us on), all EV pickups were doomed to fail, as has just been proved:

Ford Motor Company is halting production of its electric F-150 Lightning pickup truck at a Michigan factory, the auto giant announced Thursday. Just three years ago, President Joe Biden and Rep. Elissa Slotkin (D., Mich.) visited the plant to celebrate the truck’s rollout, calling it an “incredible facility” that shows there’s “no limit to what American ingenuity and manufacturing can accomplish.”

Ford—which, like other major automakers, has struggled to keep its EV business afloat—will shutter the Dearborn, Michigan, manufacturing plant beginning on Nov. 18 and until Jan. 6, 2025. “We continue to adjust production for an optimal mix of sales growth and profitability,” the company said in a statement Thursday. 

Expect the plant to continue that suspension way past Jan 6, 2025 despite the weasel corporate-speak, because when it comes to pickup (or any other) trucks, EV production will never achieve an “optimal mix of sales growth and profitability”.  (As an aside:  anything hailed by FJB, including his choice for VP, has the automatic stench of failure about it.)

So here’s where the Cnut example becomes more relevant than ever:

Ford’s halt in F-150 Lightning production highlights the disastrous impact of federal EV mandates driven by the Biden-Harris administration,” Jason Isaac, the CEO of the American Energy Institute, told the Washington Free Beacon.

In other words, just because the .dotgov says it must happen, that doesn’t mean that it will.

We’ve seen it before with the laughable sustainable energy mandates, where wind- and solar power hasn’t even come close to expectations of consistent electrical delivery (nor will it ever, because — and I hate to repeat myself — anyone with a brain could have told these terminally-deluded dreamers of that outcome).

But control freaks of the ecological- and socialist persuasion [redundancy alert]  persist in thinking that if they simply order Net Zero to happen by x date, it will happen.

The collapse of the EV market is simply a signal — a foreshadowing, if you will — that as these idiots remain sitting stubbornly in their chairs on the beach, the tide is most assuredly coming in and will drown them.

We should be so lucky.

The problem is that these assholes are trying to force us all to sit with them.

“American automakers and workers are paying the price for policies that ignore real consumer demand,” Isaac continued.

…and it’s not just automakers and workers.  It’s everybody.

Well… Bye

Retailing, Two-Minute Hate

Reader Mike L sent me this little news snippet:

Macy’s bosses are forging ahead with store closures as they look to reinvent the 166-year-old retailer.  The troubled department store chain announced in February that it would shut 150 over the next three years – including 55 by the end of 2024.   It will be left with just 350 stores – a far cry from the peak of around 1,100 in 2008. Since then it has been in steady decline.  Macy’s has yet to announce exactly which stores will be affected, but employees are speculating whether their location could be on the chopping block.

…and I don’t care.

I’ve hated those New York bastards with a passion ever since they bought the exquisite Marshall Field’s* in Chicago and turned it into… well, Macy’s.

I hope they all perish.

* probably the best department store in the world during the 1980s and -90s.  Their Rare Books Department alone was worth any four departments in Macy’s.  Unsurprisingly, it was the first department that Macy’s eliminated.

HOW Much? (Part 2)

Marketing / Advertising, Old Fartism, The Gun Thing

Never checked my email over the weekend because I had other stuff to do.  So I opened  the program just now, to find this in my Inbox:

It’s not the sale price that offends me (that much):  it’s becoming increasing difficult to find a decent rifle for less than a grand nowadays (sigh).

But two grand (regular price)?  For a Marlin lever rifle?

Has the world gone fucking crazy?

Then again, there’s this:

…which seems too good to be true.  (I don’t know who “SDS” is, but whatever.)  If I were to guess, that might need a few hundred bucks in gunsmithing to make it acceptable, but I could be wrong.  (I do like the lanyard ring, by the way.)

Failed Landmark

Architecture, Corporate Fuckery

This just sucks:

The future of the iconic Chrysler Building in New York City is uncertain as its owners face eviction – leaving the crown jewel of Gotham’s high-rise at risk of falling into disrepair.

The owner of the land on which the skyscraper stands said it has terminated the building buyer’s ground lease and taken control of the Art Deco gem in Midtown Manhattan.

To call the Chrysler a “gem” is to do the building a great injustice.  Alone among all the skyscrapers in New York, it’s a building worth saving because its beauty makes it truly a work of art rather than just another grubby office building.

The problem with a building — any building, no matter how well constructed or of what durable materials it was built — is that it needs constant care and refurbishment, which clearly has been neglected by this lovely structure’s various owners over the decades. And to be frank, all of them need to be whipped at the post.

A cursory glance at what the landowners have been demanding for rent over the years, however, may be a clue as to why the neglect has occurred.

But like all downtown buildings, the Chrysler was nuked by Covid and its aftermath of “work-from-home” and empty offices thereby.  So its chances of survival at this point seem remote, unless some super-billionaire with imagination can think of a way out.  (One thinks of the much-maligned Donald Trump, who could probably pull off the miracle;  but he has other things to occupy him at the moment.)

So the Chrysler will probably be taken down like some exhausted Las Vegas casino, except that unlike the typical Vegas eyesore, a piece of great architectural beauty will disappear, and Manhattan will lose, in my opinion, far more of its soul than it lost when the Twin Towers fell.

Might as well look at it while we still can:

Price Increase On Your Dreams

Corporate Fuckery

Well, isn’t this special:

The cost of buying a Mega Millions jackpot dream will soon more than double, but lottery officials said they’re confident players won’t mind paying more after changes that will lead to larger prizes and more frequent winners.  Lottery officials announced Monday that it will cost $5 to play Mega Millions, beginning in April, up from the current $2 per ticket.

Mega Millions will introduce changes at a time when fewer people are buying tickets and jackpots need to reach ever-higher figures before sporadic players notice and opt to buy a ticket or two. Whereas a $500 million jackpot once prompted lines out convenience store doors, top prizes of $1 billion now often draw more of a ho-hum response.

Yeah, that’s right:  in the face of declining sales, boost revenue by increasing the price.  Fucking morons.  Ask Detroit how that’s worked out for them.

And even more special:

“Spending 5 bucks to become a millionaire or billionaire, that’s pretty good,” said Joshua Johnston, director of the Washington Lottery and lead director of the group that oversees Mega Millions.  The price increase will be one of many changes to Mega Millions that officials said will result in improved jackpot odds, more frequent giant prizes and even larger payouts.

Sure;  odds go from 2 trillion-1 to 1 trillion-1.  We lottery players may be suckers, but not that much.

And:

“You pay 5 bucks for your Starbucks,” Johnston noted.

But at the end of that transaction you get a cup of coffee in your hand, as opposed to a largely-worthless piece of paper.

I have this to say to MegaMillions:

…and thanks for nothing, assholes.

And thankee, sorta, to Reader Mike L. for the link.

Update On Big Auto’s Duracell Drive

Corporate Fuckery, Corporate Wokism, Drive Time

Following on from yesterday’s post on VW, Mercedes and Stellantis (the bastards), there’s this:

Car makers slash EV prices, suspend production and extend petrol model availability as electric demand wanes

The global downturn in sales of EVs has been triggered by a cocktail of diverging policies on green incentives, range and charge anxiety among drivers and the fact prices haven’t come down as much as experts had forecast.

As such, 2024 has been awash with a wave of U-turns by legacy car firms in response to a lower-than-expected appetite for electric vehicles.

‘Appetite for EVs among consumers is quickly diminishing. There are many factors contributing to this, including the lack of clarity around incentives, high prices and concerns around the low residual value of EVs.’

Yeah, not to mention the paucity of charging points when your Duracell phuts out, the cost of replacing said Duracell when it becomes as worn out as Madonna’s box at a P Diddy White Party, and those pesky spontaneous combustion episodes — to name but some “consumer concerns”.

Looks like corporate obeisance to the great Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© is losing its luster, especially when that pesky cold hard cash is involved.  (Also see:  Germany restarting coal-fired electricity generating plants.)

This is especially rich:

‘The new pricing structure on Corsa Electric and Astra Electric is the latest in a number of measures we have taken to democratise access to electric vehicles.’\

“Democratize access”, my aching African-American white ass.  That’s just a fancy term for “getting rid of unwanted stock”.

But when it comes to weaselly corporate-speak, it’s hard to top this:

Volvo Cars chief executive Jim Rowan said: ‘We are resolute in our belief that our future is electric. An electric car provides a superior driving experience [nazzo fast, Guido] and increases possibilities for using advanced technologies that improve the overall customer experience [like having their every move tracked and sent to insurance companies and ad agencies].

‘However, it is clear that the transition to electrification will not be linear [ya think?], and customers and markets are moving at different speeds of adoption [or not moving at all, see above].

‘We are pragmatic and flexible [except of course when we try to coerce people into buying our Duracell cars by eliminating the ICE option completely], while retaining an industry-leading position on electrification and sustainability.’ [and I hope you’re the first to go out of business, Mr. Leader]

Wait… what’s this I’m experiencing?

Oh, and one more thing, speaking of Duracell cars:

…not that any of my Readers would be affected, of course, being Sensible Chaps.