There have been all sorts of crappy articles written about how people are coping (or not) with their enforced separation from society — e.g. “OMG am I ever going to get laid again?” — all of which have apparently been written by Twinks, Snowflakes and similarly socially-inept twerps.
But Oglaf has the best (and funniest) take, I think. (As with all his stuff, it’s NSFW — oh, what the hell am I thinking? You’re ALL working from home, aren’t you? Go ahead and click on the link.)
I love this country. Here’s yet another reason:
Only a few months have passed since we reported that the New York-to-Los Angeles Cannonball record was broken. It’s allegedly been broken again. The 26 hour, 38 minute time—which beats the record set in November by more than 45 minutes—appears to be legitimate.
…
It did not escape many long-time Cannonballers that an immobilized workforce and hard times might create ideal road conditions for fast driving thanks to much lower traffic volumes. Musing in online chat groups ensued. But most decided that it was better to cast their lot with the rest of humanity and stay home. Most, but not all.
…
All we know about this new set of scofflaws is that there were three, maybe four of them, and that they were driving a white 2019 Audi A8 sedan with a pair of red plastic marine fuel tanks ratchet-strapped into its trunk. They started at the Red Ball Garage in New York City at 11:15 pm on April 4, and ended less than 27 hours later at the Portofino Hotel & Marina in Redondo Beach, California, the traditional start and end points of a Cannonball attempt.
Which leads me to my question to you, O My Readers:
If you were going to Cannonball, what car would you choose to do it in, and why?
Remember that the only criteria are speed, reliability, comfort and (maybe) fuel efficiency.
Your answers in Comments. But I have to tell you: the Audi A8 was not the worst choice in the world…
No links because we Murkins don’t really care much for furriners. I do this so you don’t need to.
…and as it’s China, let’s just go with a hundred-and-eight thousand, because we all know the ChiComs lie like Clintons. And speaking of lying, this from the BBC:
…and I will give $10,000 to anyone who can provide irrefutable scientific proof that viruses can be teleported by radio waves… you fucking moron.
…good grief, the Italians can start opening up businesses, and we can’t? And meanwhile, in the south…
…except they’re not Covidiots, they’re pissed-off mafiosi. (In the old days. they’d just have sent someone round to visit the families of the chopper pilots.)
…I think we need to start a Berlin Airlift-style operation in eastern Greece, only we drop machine-guns instead of coal and food.
…that’s the spirit: disarm the cops first, then riot.
…and you have to know things are getting bad when the servile obedient Germans are stoning their Polizei. But at least they’re not getting out of control, unlike elsewhere:
…I think this headline should be printed out and distributed to the public at large; and the next time some asswipe Californian cop gets all enforcey on someone taking a stroll along an empty beach, he should be given a copy. Just as an FYI, of course.
Finally, some educational news:
…and unlike what you may have heard from Hollywood: Krakatoa is west of Java. Now you know.
Via somebody else, I see a couple of pleasing statistics at ZeroHedge (my emphasis):
Jurgen Brauer, chief economist at Small Arms Analytics, told Bloomberg News, that handgun sales increased 91.1% year-over-year, per Brauer’s analysis, and long-gun sales were up 73.6%.
Well, they’re pleasing statistics for me ; for some others, not so much:
Governor Ralph Northam (D) signed legislation Friday creating universal background checks in Virginia and limiting law-abiding Virginians to one handgun purchase per month.
Northam’s office announced his signature on Senate Bill 70 / House Bill 2, creating the universal checks and thereby outlawing private gun sales.
He signed Senate Bill 69 / House Bill 812 resurrecting Virginia’s “one-handgun-a-month rule to help curtail stockpiling of firearms and trafficking.”
So… let’s just say ad arguendum that this were to happen nationwide (I know, I know; but run with me on this one). Now we’d be faced with a situation where private gun sales are outlawed, you can’t buy more than one at a time, and if gun dealers were the only sales outlet, a simple order of mass denial at the poxy NICS would prevent any sales, at all.
But why Kim, you may ask, is government so afraid of all this? ZeroHedge gives this simple and succinct reason:
It’s only matter of time before this lockdown of American — leaving citizens jobless, broke, and without options — becomes the flashpoint that leads to an explosion of civil unrest and violent crime.
So as the title of this post suggests, it’s time to end this sanitation theater, and let Americans go back to work.
And it’s not just commerce I’m talking about. We also need to start dismantling the mechanisms that federal and state governments have installed (starting with this bunch of assholes) that have enabled them to deprive citizens of their liberty, their ability to work, and (in some places) their ability to gather the means of self-defense.
Here’s a quote from the late- and much-missed Joseph Sobran on just this topic:
“By today’s standards King George III was a very mild tyrant indeed. He taxed his American colonists at a rate of only pennies per annum. His actual impact on their personal lives was trivial. He had arbitrary power over them in law and in principle but in fact it was seldom exercised. If you compare his rule with that of today’s U.S. Government you have to wonder why we celebrate our independence…”
George III would never have contemplated arresting Americans for walking in parks, going out to dinner, selling the “wrong” merchandise or swimming alone in the ocean. Never in a million years would he have shut down fish markets, outlawed the sales of seed, or spied on our religious observances. Yet our post-Revolutionary government is doing all that to us — and, apparently, without much public resistance because “it’s for our own good”.
We need to get back to work, and tell the government to fuck off and leave us alone. Or else.
I apologize for the Vox link, but this was too good to pass up:
Well, that kinda depends on what you mean by “country”, doesn’t it? In fact, where you live, there might conceivably be a short-term stock outage of something — of something you actually need immediately, like salt or… toilet paper.
And “where you live” is the important part of the above. It’s small comfort, when your local stores are all out of infant formula, to know that in North Dakota, Maine and Idaho, infants are well-fed and healthy while yours is starting to look like a Somali baby, and you’re starting to look at large-breasted women not with lust, but as a food source for your kids.
As for the “two to three weeks’ supply of food” canard; oy vey. Two or three months is more like it (as all my Readers know full well by now), and fuck them and their “hoarding” — which is really just a euphemism for “someone’s got something that I don’t have, and I want the Gummint to take it away from them and give it to meeeee”.
Preparing for disaster is not hoarding, it’s prudence. Of course, the Left is devoid of that quality because Marxism, deconstruction and envy. Which brings us back to the Marxist tools at Vox. The rest of the article is equally stupid, but unintentionally hilarious.
Hector Drummond (who is rapidly becoming my go-to guy in matters of Britishland Chinkflu stats) has some graphs*, and comes to this conclusion (my emphasis):
Even I am astonished by these graphs. I was expecting to see something in the graphs by week 13, even if I wasn’t expecting anything scary. But there’s just nothing. And you can’t say the lockdown caused this, because the UK lockdown had only been going for four days by this time. We’ve locked down the country for a supposed mass killer that still isn’t visible in the stats even after the lockdown was declared. We locked the country down for something that at the time only existed in Neil Ferguson’s dodgy computer models.
Our numbers may (repeat: may ) be better than the BritGov’s, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that our response to the Chinkvirus has been as overblown and pointless as theirs.
*I’m not sure, but I believe that “ONS” stands for Office of National Statistics. Maybe one of my Brit Readers can confirm.
