…smells foul. Try this bastardy on for size:
The growing “features on demand” (FoD) trend in the auto industry is upsetting American car owners, who are growing increasingly displeased with having to pay for extra car features via subscription. 69 percent of respondents to a recent survey indicated that they would probably switch car brands if they were forced to pay monthly fees for features like heated seats.
As far as I’m concerned, they can take their “FoD” and “FOAD” (fuck off and die).
Of course, cars aren’t expensive enough, so the manufacturers have to find other ways to suck blood cash from their customers.
And they can’t be stopped:
Subscription fees have been incorporated into automakers’ financial models and projected future earnings. Wall Street analysts and investors believe these extra funds will increase future profits and stock prices.
So basically, we’re fucked, then.
Unless, of course, we don’t buy any of their cars or if we do, we shun those oh-so necessary doodads like heated seats, GPS and “climate control” (what we used to call heating and a/c). Ditto “smart” key fobs and all the other useless and expensive shit that for some reason, we can’t seem to do without nowadays.
“Oh, you want a steering wheel with our new car? That’ll be $75/month, because you don’t just get a wheel, you also get a built-in gear shift, controls for your FM-only radio, and a telephone (another $25/month for unlimited calls anywhere within your own zip code). What’s that? You just want a plain wheel, no extras? How quaint. Well, we don’t offer those anymore, on the advice of our accountants. Now let’s talk about the monthly cost of ABS…”
Mother fuckers. Motherfucking fuckers.
In fact:
The pre-war models were admittedly underpowered (not for the time, though), but by the late 1950s its 2.9-liter six-cylinder engine was tops. (The “H” in the description denotes that the car was fitted with Citroën’s hydro-pneumatic suspension, which made it the most comfortable ride back then, and maybe still even by today’s standards.) The TA was and still is wonderfully reliable, and in this old Frog limo I’d tour the country — any country — without a qualm.
Let’s see: Swiss steel and manufacturing, Italian styling and an American engine (to be specific, Chrysler’s honking big-block 7.2-liter V8 putting out 375hp). Find fault with any of those, I dare ya — and the combination was (and is) irresistible. The only thing I don’t like about the Monteverdi is that it came only with automatic transmission — but in a tourer, that’s not too much of a compromise, really.
More power than anyone would ever need off a racetrack (yes, a 6.3-liter engine with serious grunt), matchless reliability (built back in the day when engineering was Job #1 at Mercedes), and classic good looks. The 6.3 actually created the “high performance” category of large luxury cars, and it took most other manufacturers nearly a decade to catch up properly.
Okay, this one’s as much for New Wife as for me, but I’d still take one for myself in a heartbeat. It’s not a performance car by any definition, but it’s quick enough, and comfortable enough, and reliable in spades. And lest we forget, it looks classy and elegant.
The last of the 356 line before being replaced by the 911, this one had Porsche’s 2-liter flat-four engine. What it also had (and has) is wonderful reliability and driving pleasure. What it doesn’t have (or need) is power anything, electronics and all the modern and mostly unnecessary crap that makes my nose twitch.
