Combat Controller sends me these pics under the heading: “I think someone’s police department has too much money”:
“…compared to the Sheriff’s department…”:
When you think of how often the city cop cars will be in the shop for repairs (five times per month, average) compared to the Sheriff’s cars (twice a year, average), it’s an even worse picture.
You’ve just won the Grand Prize of a big raffle. The prize is that you get to tour the United States AND Western/Central Europe for six months (in any combination you wish, e.g. four months in the U.S, two in Europe). All expenses and accommodation are paid for. You have your choice of companion: wife, mistress, girlfriend, best buddy, Carol Vorderman, or nobody.
You also have to choose only one car for each continental leg of this trip, which may prove problematic, because they’re all classic cars. However, in the same spirit of the Clarkson trio, you will have a support vehicle driving a couple of miles behind you, so forget about car trouble.
Also: because of the age of the cars, interstate highways and autobahns are not recommended, so you’ll have to use lesser roads e.g. US-50 or US-287, etc.
Here are your choices for the U.S. leg (pick one only):
1932 Stutz DV-32 (5.0-liter straight eight, top speed ~ 100mph)
1934 Packard 1101 Eight Coupe (319 cub.in straight 8, top speed ~ 120mph)
1935 Duesenberg J Walker Grand Torpedo (6.9-liter straight 8, top speed ~ 115mph) 
1936 Auburn Boat Tail Speedster (5.3-liter straight 8, top speed ~ 120mph) 
Now for the “European leg”. You can choose to tour only the U.K. in one of the three right-hand drive cars — OR only the European continent in one of the three left-hand drive cars:
United Kingdom
1936 MG SA Tourer (2-liter inline 4, top speed ~ 80mph)
1938 SS-100 Jaguar Roadster (2.5-liter inline 6, top speed ~ 100mph) 
1938 Alfa Romeo 6C 2300 B (2.3-liter inline 6, top speed ~ 105mph)
(I know, it’s not a Brit car; but it is one of the most beautiful Alfas ever made, it’s RHD, and you’ll have a support team, remember?)
Continental Europe
1936 Horch 853 A (4.9-liter straight 8, top speed ~ 120mph)
1938 BMW 328 Cabriolet (1.9-liter inline 4, top speed ~ 110mph)
1938 Mercedes 540K Cabrio A (4.9-liter inline 8, top speed ~ 125mph) 
Enjoy the trips…
…from yesterday’s post about driving around the Virginia International Raceway:
Group A: 2009 Wiesmann Roadster
Are you kidding me? A German V10 in a custom-built luxury sports car? Vroom, vroom.
Group B: 1995 Aston Martin DB7
Never driven an A-M… time to do so.
Group C: 1985 Lancia Delta S4
Better than the Stratos? I’d need to judge for myself…
Group D: 1975 BMW 3.0 CSL
Not even close. One of the best cars BMW ever made.
Group E: 1967 Iso Grifo 350 GL
American engine, Italian styling. Also, not even close.
Group F: 1955 Fiat 8V Zagato
Let’s see: four-time winner of the Euro Sports Car championship, a snarling 2-liter V8 engine… what was the question, again?
Next Sunday will feature yet another series of difficult choices. I rather like this game.
You have been given a free day to drive the Virginia International Raceway (long track). For those unfamiliar, here it is (click to embiggen):
You have been given a whole Fall day to drive a half-dozen cars of your choice, from the list below, from dawn till dusk (about 7.30pm) around this 3.5-mile track, and you’ll have the place all to yourself. The weather forecast is for clear and sunny skies, with perhaps a brief shower at midday, clearing after about an hour. Temperatures will be in the mid-50s (11C to15C, for those of the Celsius persuasion).
You will be limited to up to twenty (20) laps for each car; three warm-up laps (no faster than 50mph) to get the oil temperatures up and for familiarization, and the rest at whatever speed you wish. Individual lap times can be kept for comparative purposes.
Mechanical service will be available at any time (so assume no breakdowns), and fresh tires will be provided as needed.
The cars from which you must make your choices are from the following list, and *note well* you may pick only one car from each group:
Group A (“Roaring 20s”)
Car #1: 2009 Wiesmann GT MF5 Roadster (go here if you’re unfamiliar)
Car #2: 2015 Maserati GT:
Car #3: 2015 Corvette Z06
Car #4: 2015 Ferrari California T
Everyone made their (one) choice? then on to
Group B (“Naughty Nineties”)
Car #1: 1995 BMW 840i
Car #2: 1995 Honda/Acura NSX
Car #3: 1995 Ford Mustang SVT Cobra R
Car #4: 1995 Aston Martin DB7
Now for the next choice, from
Group C (“Aching Eighties”)
Car #1: 1985 Lotus Esprit Turbo
Car #2: 1985 De Tomaso Pantera GT5-S
Car #3: 1987 Buick Grand National GNX
Car #4: 1985 Lancia Delta S4 Group B
Next, it’s time for
Group D (“Savage Seventies”)
Car #1: 1975 Jensen Interceptor III
Car #2: 1975 Ferrari 365 Berlinetta Boxer
Car #3: 1975 BMW 3.0 CSL (E9)
Car #4: 1978 Ford Mustang Cobra
All done? Move on to
Group E (“Sexy Sixties”)
Car #1: 1965 Alfa Romeo TZ2 Zagato
Car #2: 1967 Bizzarrini P538
Car #3: 1961 Ferrari 250 GTI Lusso
Car #4: 1967 Iso Grifo 350 GL
And your final choice comes from
Group F (“Fabulous Fifties”)
Car #1: 1955 Ford T-bird
Car #2: 1955 Maserati 450 S
Car #3: 1956 Porsche 356 A
Car #4: 1955 Fiat 8V Zagato
There you have it: six cars from six different decades.
Enjoy the drive.
Last week’s post on aircraft provoked more comments from Readers than just about any other piece at this blog.
So this week I’m going to do something quite different.
The scenario: you are going to do a road trip in Italy which will more or less follow the old Mille Miglia race course. It will not be a race — in fact, you will end up driving quite slowly, stopping to enjoy all the wonderful views and other attractions along the way. The only stipulations are a.) that you are in your early thirties, and b.) that whatever car you choose for the trip will be mechanically sound (i.e. no breakdowns).
To make it even more interesting, whichever car you choose will involve a mandatory traveling companion of similar vintage, and your choice therefore requires you to pick not only the car, but the companion as well. You may not choose or substitute any outside the pairings as listed.
Choice #1: 1958 Lancia Aurelia B24 and 1958 Sophia Loren
Choice #2: 1968 Morgan 8 and 1968 Grace Kelly 
Choice #3: 1967 Austin-Healey MkIII and 1967 Gina Lollobrigida
Choice #4: 1965 Ferrari 330 GTS Spider and 1965 Suzanne Pleshette 
Choice #5: 1959 Corvette and 1962 Ann-Margret
Choice #6: 1958 Mercedes 300 Roadster and 1958 Elizabeth Taylor
One choice, and one choice only. Enjoy the trip.
Update: I fixed the date of the Corvette, and of Ann-Margret just a little (she would have been 18 in 1959, shuddup you pervos).
Also: what part of “you’re not going to experience car trouble” was not clear?
I’m not afflicted with wealth envy, because I’m not a Communist. I do get upset, however, when the rich leverage their wealth to become still richer (as opposed to creating more wealth through productivity), or when people such as the late Senator Harry Reid become wealthy by abuse of their position, or by fraud (like this asshole, this asshole and this tart).
I’m also not envious of people who become rich by pure luck: lottery winners, or people like the Sultan of Brunei, whose country just happens to be sitting on an ocean of oil and natural gas — and who went and created a $5 billion (with-a-B) collection of cars, supercars, bespoke supercars and so on, as discussed here. I’m not upset that most of the cars have never been driven, or that they’re falling apart and becoming unrecoverable. Rich people do stupid shit, and that’s the way of the world.
As is the case with people who spend over $100 million to own apartments in New Yawk fucking City that they’ll never visit.
The difference between them and the idiotic Sultan is that their spending is an investment, whereas the Sultan’s spending is just money thrown away, as befits so much of this kind of thing in the Third World. The latter is similar to inheriting ten million bucks from Aunt Ethel, spending $1,000 on handmade chocolate bars, and never eating any of them. That kind of spending is actually symptomatic of a psychological defect — but still, I don’t care.
The point about those real estate buyers is that if the real estate market crashes, and it will, the value of their investment will plummet — and they still won’t care too much, because they have that much money. And remember the truism: in five generations (or less), all fortunes, no matter how vast, are dissipated.
Which brings me back to my opening statement: I really don’t care how much money people have, nor how it’s spent.
What does get up my nose is when governments do the same kind of thing as the Sultan of Brunei does: only with our money and not their own.