Interesting Situation

Last weekend, Lewis Hamilton won the Turkish Grand Prix and with it, the F1 Driver’s Championship for the seventh (!!!!) time, tying the venerated-but-comatose Michael Schumacher for the all-time record.  Much has been said about the little twerp, especially by me, for the fact that he’s driving a  car (factory Mercedes-AMG) which is hugely superior to most if not all of the other cars in Formula 1, and to a certain degree this is true. (Mercedes had actually clinched the F1 Team Championship title the race before.)

However:  in Istanbul on Sunday, conditions were terrible.  It had rained all night before, and to add to the drivers’ woes, the track had only been resurfaced a couple weeks prior, which meant that even dry it would have been slippery;  add metric tons of water to the mix, and you get mayhem.  Which is pretty much what happened.  Nobody cared to race on slicks, when meant “wet” or “intermediate” tires were the order of the day, and all during the race, cars were sliding around and off the track like they were being driven by five-year-old boys and not by arguably the best drivers in the world.  Even worse was that because the tires were wet-weather ones, they degraded very quickly when the track did dry out a bit.  Ordinarily under those circumstances, you’re lucky to get ten to fifteen laps before the tread wears to such an extent that you’re in essence racing on slicks, on a soaking-wet track.  This was not the case in Istanbul, because it drizzled on and off during the entire race, which meant that the alternate wet- and dry track gave the intermediate tires a few more laps’ life, to maybe twenty laps.

Hamilton changed off the wet tires on lap 8 — and then drove the last fifty laps on the same tires, winning by a huge margin because all the other drivers had to make two and sometimes three pit stops to change theirs.  It was a drive of unbelievable virtuosity, and as much as I personally detest the little asshole, it was a drive worthy of a champion, the win and therefore the title richly deserved.  And by the way, Valttieri Bottas (the other Mercedes driver), driving the same machinery, finished somewhere like fifteenth.  So much for “equipment superiority”.

I told you all that so I could tell you this.

Hamiton’s seventh driver’s title has resulted in calls for him to be given a knighthood by the Queen — she doesn’t make the decision, by the way, some government flunkey or other does, I can’t be bothered to look it up as like most Americans I think the whole title thing is silly.  Regardless, other sportsmen have been knighted before for their sporting success (F1’s Jackie Stewart and Stirling Moss, cricketer Ian Botham — more on him in another post), so it’s not an unusual thing for a sportsman to be thus recognized.

However, this is Lewis Hamilton we’re talking about, so of course there’s going to be a turd in the punchbowl.  And this is it:  many years ago, Lewis left the U.K. and took up residence in Monaco to escape Her Majesty’s onerous taxation (once again, not the old girl’s fault;  she doesn’t makes the laws, she just signs the papers).

To the ever-censorious British public, who think that leaving Britain for this reason equates to near-criminal behavior, this is causing some problems, conceptually.  On the one hand, he’s brilliant and deserves some social recognition, but on the other, he’s a reprehensible tax-dodger who’s being rewarded by the Crown despite his “disloyalty”.

Needless to say, I think the wealth-envious Brits are total idiots when it comes to this nonsense:  taxes are an evil, evil form of theft:  one should pay only as much as the law mandates, and not one fucking penny more.  Avoiding paying taxes (as opposed to evading, or not paying any) is one’s fiscal responsibility, and tax loopholes (created, of course, by loathsome politicians) should be used to the utmost advantage without actually breaking the law.  Tax accountants and -lawyers exist to know about and bring such loopholes (okay, exceptions) to their clients’ attention and save them money.  That’s the beginning and the end of what I call the commonsense approach to paying taxes — but that’s not what the vast British (and huge swathes of the U.S.) public believes.

Thus, the quandary the Brits find themselves in is an exquisite one, as I stated above.  And I find myself curiously conflicted:  on the one hand I think Hamilton’s achievement is incredible, and worthy of recognition;  but on the other, while the tax haven thing is irrelevant, the thought of this woke little BLM-supporting twerp becoming “Sir Lewis” sticks in my craw like a chicken bone.

Not Too Awful

In yesterday’s post which talked about colors, one color came in for some (much-deserved) mockery, this being avocado green.

Well, I guess it can be a situational thing.  Here’s why I say this:

Now it must be said that the peerless E-type might look better in another color;  but if someone came up to you and said, “Here are the keys and pink slip for that car, it’s yours,” I think it would be safe to assume that you wouldn’t get all offended and say, “Oh noes!  I wouldn’t seen dead in so ugly a color!” and turn it down.

In Kim Terms, this would be like turning down an evening’s bedtime entertainment with Salma Hayek just because she was wearing a strangely-colored dress.  And as this statement is useless wifout pichers, here’s what I’m talking about:

Errr I’ve lost my thread.  What was I talking about, again?

Further Explanation Needed

In this little story, the question being asked is:  “How could this happen?”

“This” being this:

To me, the answer seems quite simple:  the Audi used the McLaren as a ramp — or a partial ramp, mounting it with only the right-hand wheels, which caused it to flip over onto its side.  (The low-profile front of the McLaren, by the way, seems to make for quite an effective ramp.)

The real question is:  what would make the Audi’s driver go so fast in a supermarket parking lot as to turn a simple collision into a flip-over?  Trying to get into the vacant spot next to the McLaren ahead of another car?  Hitting the throttle instead of the brake pedal?  Sexting on the iPhone?  All of the above?

Truly, some people should not be allowed to drive on public roads.

Why I Hate Jay Leno

It’s not the man, but his Garage.  OMG, almost every time I watch Jay Leno’s Garage, I want to own the car he’s featuring.  And I don’t mean, “Oh that’s a nice car;  I wouldn’t mind driving it.”

I mean “I WANT THAT CAR IN MY GARAGE RIGHT NOW!”

Case in point:  this  Citröen Traction Avant.

I have often featured this fabulous example of French luxury on these pages before, but here’s a little reminder:

To me, this car has just about everything I would want in a town runaround:  comfortable ride, plenty of indoor room, outstanding beauty… it is the complete package.

And having Jay Leno say, as he’s pootling along in his 1949 model (slightly paraphrased):  “I have lots of cars that go fast.  But this is the way to travel:  comfortable, with everything working just as it should.”

I defy anyone of approximately my vintage to watch that video linked above, and not think:  “Ya know…”

The only problem is, when you watch the next video, you’re going to feel exactly the same way.  As for the the one after that (which begins, “Still the one of the best-sounding engines ever”)…

And I’ll lay odds that if you go down into the Jay Leno’s Garage Matrix, kiss your day good-bye and be prepared for several episodes of Massive Car Lust.

Damn you, Leno, for doing this to me.

Scale

Yesterday, I posted a pic which made a tongue-in-cheek reference to a car’s size relative to the human who might drive it:

…and while this Alfa Berlina is not a small car, others of the era certainly are, even though if viewed without some perspective they might seem quite large.

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about.

I have always loved the concept of Bizzarrini cars:  their breathtaking design, their powerful (American) engines and of course, the astounding automotive engineering skill of Giotto Bizzarrini himself.

Here’s the 1967 Bizzarrini 5300 Strada model:

Now I think we can all agree that this is a gorgeous car, and the 400bhp Corvette engine under the hood doesn’t hurt its appeal, either.  The problem is that the long hood makes the car look quite big — “Corvette big”, even — but when put into perspective, the Strada is anything but:

Now that we’ve established the actual size of the thing, here’s a trio of different Bizzarini Strada models and colors:

…and its interior isn’t at all displeasing:

Finally, allow me to show you the Strada’s racing stablemate, the P538 (which won its class at Le Mans in 1965 and placed ninth overall):

It is not good for this old man’s heart to look upon such things.  I think the word is “palpitations”, and I got ’em.