Category: Entertainment

Image Problem

Entertainment, Movies

I’ve always thought that the problem with Daniel Craig’s portrayal of James Bond is that Craig doesn’t look like Ian Fleming’s description and characterization of Bond as a man with a cultured veneer, and a tough, ruthless man barely concealed just underneath.  It’s why Sean Connery was so good:

…but the rest were too heavy on the “cultured” (Roger Moore) or else pretty boys (Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Dalton) with no “rough” in evidence anywhere.  This doesn’t mean they’re bad actors (I’m a huge fan of both Moore and Brosnan), but they were just miscast.

By comparison, Daniel Craig is the complete opposite:  a street thug in a tuxedo, no sophistication to be found anywhere.

Which is why his swan song as Bond at the world premiere of whatever they’re calling the  latest car on the 007 money train is so jarring:

The jacket’s too short by two inches, and… pink?  No doubt the producers are setting us up for the next iteration of 007:  Jamie Bond, from West Hollywood.

To make things even worse, his co-star Leah Seydoux looks like a man in drag, and the movie has been dubbed the “wokest Bond movie ever“… to the whirring sound of Ian Fleming spinning in his grave.

All this means I’m unlikely ever to see this movie, but I (and people like me) am no longer relevant to the 007 Marketing Department.

Plus One

Entertainment

John Nolte provides a list of Clint Eastwood’s “offbeat” movies and characters, and I can’t really argue with any of them.

I just wish he’d made it a “top six” and added the much-ignored but superb Tightrope, wherein Clinty plays a New Orleans cop who is nothing like his Harry Callahan forebears:  he’s a single dad, vulnerable, a below-average cop who makes mistakes almost every step of the way.  He doesn’t even carry a .44 Magnum, but some teeny little .38 snubbie.

But the best part is that his investigation takes him into the murky world of deviant sex — which at first repels him, but after some time, and despite all his better instincts, starts to attract him and in so doing, draws him into his prey’s world, making him the hunted.

One of the most attractive features of Clint’s typical movie personae  is that he is strong in his beliefs, and when he straddles the line between right and wrong, he’s always aware of the line.  Not in Tightrope.  And his portrayal of the moral confusion and temptation to which he begins to succumb makes it, I think, one of his most compelling performances.

Watch it if you can get it.

Missing

Entertainment

Nobody seems to know who Sean Lock is in the U.S. (unless they watch stupid Brit TV quiz shows), but I for one am going to miss him, the sour, dark, cold bastard.

Question:  Does the full moon cause people to commit crime?
Answer:  No, it doesn’t.
Sean Lock:  Then why do I go out killing every month?

Sean Lock:  It’s amazing how many people will talk to you in a pub when you throw a pint of beer in dog’s face.

Question:  What is the traditional sport in which the contestants get thrown into a lava cauldron afterwards?
Sean Lock:  Show jumping.

Sean Lock:  I really wish they would.

Here’s Sean about Twitter…

…and relationships, and Glueball Wormening

…and political correctness, and why women earn less than men.

Anyway, Sean died of lung cancer last week, age 58.

Which makes the opening of this routine really ironic.

Real Enthusiasm

Entertainment, Military

So why would anyone believe or have any time for a movie stuntman (!) talking about his favorite tanks?

About one-and-a-half minutes in, you’ll see exactly why.

Money quote:  “If you can’t afford a Spitfire, [an Achilles tank] is the next best thing.”

Absolutely brilliant.

Then there’s this caustic take on horrible British tanks by a man after my own heart.

Money Quote:  “It’s not really bullet-proof.  Except from a revolver.  For a while.  From a distance.”

I have never before subscribed to any EwwwChoob channel, but I think I’ll do so for The Tank Channel.

Vicky

Beauty, Entertainment

Her late father was easily one of the funniest writers in the English language;  her brother is a renowned (and very good) restaurant and food critic, and like both father and brother she is a graduate of Oxford University.  Unlike the other two male relatives, she is also a champion poker player and constant guest on cooking- and quiz shows on Brit TV, where she tends to overawe most of the other competitors (and quiz masters) with her frightening intellect and acidic tongue.  She’s also married (alas) to one of the most effete, yet funniest and angriest comedians on television, and I would pay a small fortune to have them both as dinner guests.

Her name is Victoria Coren (Mitchell), her father was Alan Coren, her brother is Giles Coren, and her husband is David Mitchell — and each one of those men is worthy of a post all to himself.  But they pale beside Victoria.

And I’ve had a massive crush on her for well over a decade.

Here’s one of the compilations from when she appeared as a contestant on the ghastly Countdown  series.   And then there’s QI, where she gets into arguments with the equally-intellectual Stephen Fry and Sandi Toksvig.

And here’s when she and her husband appeared together on Would I Lie To You?  (which is a hysterically funny show).

Class, intelligence, sense of humor, good looks. and a penchant for erotic spanking… ask me to explain again why I love her.