Category: Friday Feature

Ranked in ascending order of bad sportsmanship:

• “Neener!  Neener!”
• “I guess paying off the referee didn’t help you that much, did it?”
• “Hey, never mind… after all, your side had the prettier uniforms!”
• “Imagine what would have happened if I’d played you right-handed!”
• “Yeah, yours was the moral victory. And that moral is:  in future, don’t play against someone so much better than you! “

Your suggestions in Comments;  the meaner the better.

From the depths of Corporatocracy, in ascending order of frightfulness:

• “There’s not enough in the budget for the bonus we promised you”
• “You’ll have to spend six months at the new client’s office in Des Moines while we get the business settled”
• “HR wants to talk to you”
• “Our new CEO has a Harvard MBA”

…and the absolute worst thing your boss could ever say to you:

• “Meet LaShonda, our new VP of Diversity Awareness”

Your additions in Comments. Graphic language and seditious thoughts are not only allowed, they’re encouraged.

Some of these may not be actual slogans as used by the brands; but to quote Dan Rather, they’re “fake but accurate”:

• “Yes, They’re Awful. But Look How Many We’ve Sold”  (McDonalds)
• “To you, it’s a journey to your dream vacation. To us, you’re just two-legged cargo on a cheapskate budget”  (any airline nowadays)
• “When It Absolutely, Positively, Has To Get There Sometime”  (US Postal Service)*
• “When Your Dick Is Too Small” (Lamborghini)
• “Endorsed by Kim Kardashian” (any product on the planet)

Your suggestions in Comments.

*I received my Jan 2018 SHOT Show credentials last week, by Priority Mail.