Category: The Worst

Ranked in ascending order of awful:

• The Antifa Guide To Lovemaking
• Pulling The Train Without Pain, 3rd edition (Kamala Harris)
• Rockstar Sex (Nancy Pelosi)
• Six Great Foreplay Tricks (Hillary Clinton) (illustrated)
• Helping Uncle José To His Happy Ending (4th Grade Textbook, Los Angeles County School District)

Your suggestions in Comments.

Ranked in ascending order of foulness, first for men:

• Adolf
• Stinky
• Perv-O
• Butt-Breath
• The Syphilis Kid

And for women:

• Town Bicycle
• Slutcake
• Choker
• Butter-Legs
• Hillary

Your suggestions in Comments.

Ranked in order of severity:

• paper cut
• tearing a toenail off instead of cutting it off
• attempting any fool stunt which requires that someone else first hold your beer
• seppuku (with vertical and horizontal cuts)
• watching any movie starring Alan Alda

Your suggestions in Comments.

Ranked in ascending order of helplessness/need:

• While in lion / grizzly / snake-infested countryside
• During a school shooting
• While driving through any urban paradise featuring public housing
• Driving along any highway, road or street in Johannesburg
• When you’re the only person in the room not holding one

Your suggestions in Comments.

P.S.  I see I forgot to post a 5 Worst list last Friday.  Sorry.

Ranked in ascending order of frightfulness:

• All your polo ponies get colic on the day before the club championship
• Your Bentley mechanic is away on vacation right when the Mulsanne needs a service
• Left the gold Breitling on the yacht;  are forced to wear the oh-so-common steel Rolex to the White House dinner instead
• Your company’s stock drops 2%, causing your net worth to plunge to a paltry $5 billion

And the absolute worst problem any rich man could have:

• You’re married to Wendi Deng.

Further woeful suggestions in Comments.