Category: The Worst

Another Time, Another Place

The Worst

…I see that old familiar face:

Not that I give a rat’s ass about Madonna — her music, her multicolored family or her Play-Doh face — but sheesh….

And I apologize for the above.  Let’s try to mindscrape that foulness with something a lot less frightening:

Immaculate Conception?

The Worst

For those who scoff at the concept of “immaculate conception”, please explain this little situation:

A party-loving student had no idea she was pregnant, believing she had simply ‘become a bit fat’ at university by drinking ‘almost every night’ – until she suddenly gave birth.

Niamh Hearn’s life turned upside down in August 2022 when the then 20-year-old was admitted to hospital with suspected appendicitis – and left hospital with a newborn baby.

The now 21-year-old, who lives in York, admitted to binge drinking and smoking throughout her pregnancy — attending a festival and a pub crawl all while unknowingly pregnant with her son.

So far, so good;  until you see the pics of said totty.  (warning:  extreme foulness in link, you have been warned)

I know that some (okay, lots of) guys will make the old flesh insertion into pretty much anything, especially after a few shots of tequila etc.

But seriously?

The only good thing is that Mummy Dearest is unlikely to go after child support, because she won’t be able to narrow the field, so to speak — but if she does, and Daddy is exposed, his punishment will be a lot more than financial.

Yikes.

3 Worst Questions

Friday Feature, The Worst

Okay, here’s a participation game which is prompted by this little snippet (no link because reasons):

So, Gentle Readers:  what are the three ugliest, rudest, most impertinent and foul questions you could ask of His Royal Gingerness?

Yeah, I know, nobody gives a shit about this emasculated little Brit woketwerp or his horrible Hollywood slutwife.  Have some fun.  Winner gets a prize TBD.

3 Worst Women

Friday Feature, Gratuitous Chick Pics, The Worst

Here are the three worst kinds of women to be romantically involved with, in no specific order:

  • College professors.  They are used to being treated like gods in the classroom, and they expect you to do the same.  Or they’re fucking headcases who teach one of the “___ Studies” courses.
  • HR career women.  Fortunately, these things are generally unspeakably ugly and your chances of getting involved with one of them are slim, unless you’re a masochist in which case you deserve everything you get.
  • Comedians (we used to call them “comediennes”, but now that’s apparently taboo).  If you want every detail — emotional, sexual, whatever — of your private life to become just another part of her act, date one of these grunts*.

*except for Irish comedienne Aisling Bea, who is totally hot and could say anything about me she wanted, as long as I could do unspeakable things to her young Irish body when she’s not on stage.

Phwoarrrrr…

3 Worst Christmas Presents

Friday Feature, The Worst

…either to give, or to get.  First, the pricey ones:

  • One-way air ticket to New York City
  • Toyota Prius (with 50,000 miles on the clock)
  • Free weekend at the downtown Seattle Holiday Inn

Next, the “Well-Meaning But Still Crap” ones:

  • Gas station pocket knife
  • Cheap Chinese-made car tool set
  • Box of corrosive Warsaw Pact-era mil-surp rifle ammo

Then the cheap-ass ones:

  • $5 gift card for Domino’s Pizza
  • scented candle
  • coffee mug with some shit like “World’s Best [whatever]” printed on it

Your suggestions in Comments.

5 Worst Irish Names

Mocking Furriners, The Worst

Too many vowels, too many strange pronunciation rules, too… just too fucking Irish:

  1.  Saoirse (“sear-sha”, or if you want to mess with them, “sasha”)
  2. Ciarán (“kier-ahn”)
  3. Aisling (“ash-ling”)
  4. Eoin (“oh-win”)
  5. Bronagh / Bronaugh (“Broh-na” — with a very slight “ch” at the end, pronounced like the Scottish “loch”) — see also Clodagh.

I think they just have these names to fuck with ordinary English-speaking people, so that they can mock us for not knowing how to pronounce them.  They’re almost as bad as the French.

Wankers.