Category: The Worst

Your trip on board the Ocean Princess has ended in disaster and you find yourself alone in a lifeboat with no others in sight. In the boat’s survival kit you find the following, ranked in ascending order of awfulness:

• an empty flare gun
• a coupon for $100 off your next trip on the Ocean Princess
• a blister pack of contraceptive pills
• a tin of boiled lutefisk
• a CD player with fresh batteries, containing “Barry Manilow: The Turkish Bath Years”

Your suggestions on the topic in Comments, please.

There can be few things more horrible for a father than to discover what his innocent young teenage daughter is actually up to. Here are the five worst things to find in her bedside drawer, ranked in ascending order of awfulness:

• a 60-pack of condoms, half-empty
• a personally-signed photo and love note from some rapper you’ve never heard of
• a book entitled “10 First Steps To Becoming A Furry”
• a pregnancy test stick showing positive
• a letter of acceptance from Oberlin College’s Department of Feminist Studies

Your suggestions on the topic in Comments, please

The other day I came across a book written by some dorky Brit hipster [redundancy alert] called “The Worst”, which comprises lists of the 5 worst people or things to do anything with, ranked in order of awfulness. I think it’s a good idea, and I’m going to steal it and make it a regular Friday Feature.

Let me kick the thing off with:

5 Worst People To Have Dinner With

• Any vegan
• Any vegan with gluten intolerance
• Any vegan with gluten intolerance and diabetes
• Any vegan with gluten intolerance, diabetes and bulimia
• Gwyneth Paltrow

Feel free to add your five worst dinner guests in Comments.