And our update:
Now it’s time for a little personal advice from Dr. Kim:
And let’s not forget that it’s nearly Easter:
And from Britishland:
…and if all that doesn’t say “Easter”, then what does? But to continue:
And speaking of putting strange things in your mouth, here’s the latest in our “Seen At The Bar” series:
Now sit back, relax and enjoy yer drink week.
The can be only one reaction to this little snippet:
Canada PM Mark Carney Promises Zelensky More Support for Ukraine
Lessee: Canuckistan has few actual soldiers, no tanks, no aircraft and no spare money. (To be fair, their snipers are pretty good, but snipers don’t win battles, let alone wars.)
So what kind of “support” are we talking aboot, Markey-Mark? According to the Ukes:
“The Prime Minister made the right points about how we need to step up pressure on Moscow. The shadow fleet, the banking sector,” Zelensky wrote. “We must impose all-out sanctions on everything that provides Russia with funding for its war. Only then can we force Putin to a just and lasting peace.”
Zelensky also indicated that Canada was interested in investing in the reconstruction of post-war Ukraine and in joint defense deals to produce weaponry.
“Canada is interested in military-industrial and defense cooperation,” Zelensky said. “Throughout this war, we have gained significant experience in the production of EW systems, long-range missiles, and drones. Ukraine is ready for joint production.”
No you’re not. Your factories have been bombed to shit, while Canuckistan has none that aren’t reliant on U.S. subsidies and trade.
And we all know how POTUS Trump feels about that.
Good luck, guys.
…and how.
Seems as though the city of Miami got sick of the annual Spring Break bacchanalia, and tossed it out, with the expected outcome:
After dropping a tongue-in-cheek video last year about “breaking up” with Spring Break, the city’s slapped on some serious restrictions. For the weekends of March 13-16 and March 20-23, they’re enforcing rules like curfews and bag checks.
Some liquor stores are shutting at 8pm, DUI checkpoints are in place and beach access has been restricted. Miami Beach’s Chief Wayne Jones put it bluntly: “We apologize, but this is necessary. I know it’s painful. Short term pain for long term gain.”
As a result, Spring Break’s taken a hit. Footage from Miami shows deserted beaches and glum party-goers who have found the once-heaving strip eerily quiet.
Some Spring Breakers who jetted off to Miami are now regretting their decision. On TikTok, a duo warned their followers with a blunt “don’t come”. They then declared: “Spring break ain’t the same in Miami no more.”
So what’s a party-hearty Spring Breaker to do? Where to go?
Well… there’s always the old standby, Fort Lauderdale, who rolled out the red carpet:
Students who live for the party scene have found a new haven as Fort Lauderdale opens its arms wide to welcome them. The city is becoming the go-to spot, with Mayor Dean Trantalis declaring that “anyone” is invited to join the fun.
Mayor Trantalis explained: “We have a different vibe here in Fort Lauderdale versus Miami Beach. I think the mood is edgier in Miami Beach and honestly, I think the beach is sort of an afterthought when it comes to the reason for that destination. Most people are drawn to the party scenes. Everyone under the sun is welcome. We appreciate everyone regardless of their background, their faith, their race, who they love, Fort Lauderdale is a place for everyone.”
What happened next? Oh, say it ain’t so:
Spring Break brawl erupts on controversial beach
Would you look at that, it’s mid March and Spring Break is well underway for sun-seeking US college students. Great weather, booze and hundreds of wannabe party-goers all in the same place. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, just when police at the Florida city of Fort Lauderdale thought they’d seen it all after years of annual shenanigans, images from the beach this week may just be a first. You’d be forgiven for allowing American Pie to paint an idyllic Spring Break scene of lads throwing a ball around with a few tins of cold ones to pass the time during the day. At Fort Lauderdale this week, however, it was an altogether more violent sport drawing masses on masses of crowds – boxing.
And pandemonium ensued, so:
Police stormed the ruckus to pull the plug on proceedings. The city of Fort Lauderdale authorities responded to the violence with a statement: “Fort Lauderdale Police witnessed and broke up two incidents on the beach and the crowd complied both times without further issues. There have been no reported or confirmed cases of betting. This type of behavior will not be tolerated.
“Our police department is out along the beach in full force to make this spring break season safe and enjoyable for visitors and residents alike. We encourage anyone who witnesses a disturbance to call 911.”
Until April 12 in high-traffic beach areas, Fort Lauderdale has placed a blanket ban on alcohol, coolers, tents, tables and live or amplified music.
To Hizzoner Mayor Trantalis: you asked for it; you got it. You said it’s “a place for everyone”; well, not “everyone” is someone you want coming into your town, of course.
In the tags above, this post falls under “Morons & Idiots” — that’s the city of Fort Lauderdale management. The “Train Smash Women”, of course…
Their dads must be so proud.
In the Heart Of Stone category comes this predictable outcome:
Lance Crosby wanted to be at one with nature, choosing to rely on his senses rather than carry bear spray or his mobile phone…
…and it goes without saying, “or a gun”, so:
…that decision was to cost him his life after he was eaten alive by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park. The 260lb adult female bear, along with her cubs, feasted on the 63-year-old from Montana.
So he became “at one with nature” all right, by becoming bear nom-noms, kinda like berries.
I’m just amazed that being from Montana, he didn’t understand the situation vis-à-vis bears, but apparently he was a nurse from Billings (and not some hippie from Missoula, which would have been my bet). And at 63, you’d have thought he had more sense, but he didn’t.
The worst part of all of this is that the rangers tracked down and captured the mama grizzly, tested her to see if she was the actual Lance-eater. And when they established that she was, they slaughtered her and sent her cubs off to a zoo.
So because of one moron’s starry-eyed stupidity, everyone came out of this sorry episode just fine and dandy.
Makes me want to find his grave, and pour a pint of gin over it.
After first passing it through my kidneys.
I love capitalism. Why? No sooner had the ink dried on the fraudulent-but-ultimately pointless counterfeit ballots in Pennsylvania. Michigan etc. when (courtesy of Reader Mike L.) I learned that the Smart Marketing Guys got going:
US cruise company offering four-year escape during Trump presidency
A Florida-based cruise company is offering disgruntled US voters the chance to escape by traveling the world during Donald Trump’s upcoming four years in office.
Villa Vie Residences has capitalized on the election results by offering Americans a four-year escape – the length of a presidential term – starting at around $160,000 per person, taking guests to more than 425 ports in 140 countries. [more details at the link]
My only requirement is that the trip is non-refundable after the ship has left port — in other words, if the travelers are suddenly overcome with buyer’s regret or whatever, they don’t get any money back, and they have to make their own way home from whatever country they happen to be in.
And if the poor regretful souls, having spent all their savings on this 4-year escape, are unable to afford the cost of a flight back to the U.S., I’m sure some private transport company will be only too willing to step up to the plate and help them get out of wherever they are for the return trip…
…if you see what I mean.
But first, our weekly update:
And going back to creatures of the forest:
And to end this silliness off, a few pictures of questionable taste:
I mean, I wouldn’t want to break with tradition now, would I?
Be off with you.