Awards – Splendid Isolation

Here we are for the inaugural Un-P.C. Awards ceremony. Unlike all the other awards ceremonies, this one isn’t fixed (Oscars, F1, coff, coff ) in that all decisions are made by one man, i.e. Yer Humble (and Unbribable) Narrator and chief supervisor of Kim’s Beer & Treason Brigade.

So here are the winners (no podium finishers for reasons of space / patience, but a couple could actually be lifetime award winners).

Best Internet Boobs Photo: Salma Hayek

Best International Tits: Carol Vorderman

Best Socialist Tits: AOC

Best Photoshop of Socialist Tits:

World’s Best Wingman: Ghislaine Maxwell

Best Prospect For “Suicide” Before Month’s End: see above.

Best New Word (for me): Chesticles

Okay, enough boobs. Other awards:

Most Likely To Have a Train Smash In 2022: Britney Spears

Best 2022 Train Smash Prospect (Youth Division): Maisie Smith (19)

Most Unlikely Hero of 2021: J.K. Rowling

Toughest Old Broad: Queen Elizabeth II

Most Boring Couple: The Ginger Whinger and Duchess CaringSlut

Best Obituary: Battleswarm

“Leaving a trail of slime behind him –”
Start over.
“A repugnant, repulsive reptile –”
Try again.
“What can be said about him that hasn’t already been said about bubonic plague?”
Strike that.
Man, I’m really having trouble staying on the high road for this Harry Reid obit.

Top 10 Songs Of 2021 (apparently; I’ve never heard any of them)