Ah yes, our animal-loving friends:
Their protest would have been SO much more effective without breathing holes.
Category: Freaks & Loonies
Different Solution
I spoke last week about one solution to this problem (i.e., throwing the filthy scum off Waterloo Bridge). However, as a couple of observant Readers told me, there’s a problem: shit floats, and so there won’t be an adequate mortality rate.
So let’s ratchet the thing up a tad, shall we? And will anyone be surprised that my next solution to the scum-in-the-streets issue comes from yesteryear? Oh yes, it does:
It’s called the Sherman “Crab”, from WWII, and here’s what it looks like in action:
Imagine a few of these bad boys employed against this lot:
Try not to giggle like a little girl.
Next week, we’ll be looking at the Angry Bee Solution (developed by Your Humble Host).
End Times
Just when you thought you’d heard everything… how about “Yoga With Lemurs”?
And no, I didn’t make it up: it’s a real thing. This, from the country struggling with Brexit.
Quote Of The Day
Out-Of-Body Experience
So guess where I am today?
Yup… Austin, Texas. Home to every rat bastard Commie south of Dallas.
I’ll try to get through the day without punching a hippie, but I make no promises.
Unhealthy Religion
The waspish Sarah Vine tried becoming a vegan, and did not have a good time:
Evangelical vegans will tell you that following a purely ‘plant-based’ diet is not only morally commendable, it’s also much better for your health. But if my experience is anything to go by, the opposite is true.
I felt absolutely fine for the first few days. I didn’t miss meat at all, certainly not in terms of taste or flavour. The only thing I really felt an absence of was eggs. Since I embarked on my mammoth weight-loss project, eggs have become a dietary staple for me: nothing fills me up as well or gives me quite as much long-lasting energy as an egg.
I also found I had to eat larger portions to feel full — and I felt hungry again after a shorter period of time. But even that didn’t bother me, since what I was eating was so wholesome.
No, the real issue became apparent after the third or fourth day. Not to put too fine a point on it: wind.
…
One of the key arguments of vegans against livestock farming is the harm animals cause to the planet through the amount of methane they produce; if my experience was anything to go by, a vegan human is capable of producing just as much, if not more. I was a one-woman global warming hazard.
…
I don’t doubt that for some people veganism is a wonderful and fulfilling way of life. But the idea — widely promoted by its proponents — that veganism is something we can all embrace is, I’m afraid, at best baloney, at worst downright dangerous.
Read it all for the details, but all it did was make me want to attack a plate of ribs, just to be on the safe side.
